Exaltation
by ryxyu
Summary: "It was agreed that we stuck to sex; no strings attached and no emotions to follow and absolutely no one could know about our deal." Personal Assistant Requirements: Get coffee, run errands, organize notes, have sex with the boss and get paid for it. CEO Requirements: Make money, order people around, don't get in trouble with the board, and have sex with your personal assistant.
1. Chapter 1: The Actual Start of it All

Chapter One: The Actual Start of it All

**Author's Note:** Italics are set in the present.

**Clary**

_**The End **_

_Passion. I believe it drives a person to be better and more refined in a crazy world. I don't know how I got into this mess in the first place. Maybe it was his natural blond hair that didn't make him look like some goth wannabe, or maybe it was the way he sauntered into the room every single time with a smirk that made you want to pole dance in front of him, or it was the fact that his eyes burned into your soul until he got what he wanted. Maybe it was all those things that make him, him. Maybe that's why I got into this mess but thing is, I really don't know. _

_It was agreed that we stuck to sex; no strings attached and no emotions to follow and absolutely no one could know about our deal. Now, the cat's out of the bag and both our jobs are on the line–well just mine, he has a ton of lawyers to back him up. I know for a fact that he wouldn't risk his career for me and I wouldn't let him. In all sincerity, I know for sure that I love him. There are no "I think"'s or "maybe"'s for me...him on the other hand...he does not love me and maybe that's why we're in this mess. _

_I hate the fact that I have to watch him mess around with other girls to protect his own cover. I hate that he's doing it just so he has evidence that he screws everyone and that I was no exception. I hate the person that found out about us and while I'm losing everything, he is getting every last bit of me. _

_**The Actual Start of it All**_

Sex. I haven't had a massive, body shaking O in 6 months and let me explain to you that that is 183 days and equivalent to 4392 hours of absolute pain and torture. When Sebastian and I broke up, we had break up sex if that even made any sense. That was the last day I had an O and he ran off to get another from burlesque girl, Aline. It was no hard feelings but I miss sex.

Today was a new day though, I had a new job as a personal assistant and that meant office workers to date and possibly give me an O by the end of the week. Then, I would be a good, little girl and abstain from men and stick to my own two fingers. It sucked to have an orgasm with two fingers and sex toys were just damn uncomfortable.

Was it wrong to dress like a nun on the outside and then dress like a dirty whore on the inside on your first day? I think not! I actually think my whore of a mother would be proud of me; she always said that Morgenstern women were born to be loved and respected. By loved, she meant fucked hard and by respected, she meant to be showered with money and jewels. Honest to God, as much as I love my mom, I wish she would get another job that didn't require escorting nasty, old, rich men to their banquets and having to screw them by the end of the night.

When I was a little girl, I didn't understand why my mom had new men in her bedroom every night. One time, she tried to get me to call one of them dad and I think that that was when I stayed at Isabelle's for three weeks until my mom came to beg me to come back. No one knew about my mother's job except for Isabelle since she was my best friend since I was four years old. Even when I told her, I began to bawl and all she did was shrug and say that it was okay. I couldn't ask for a better friend.

"What are you wearing?" Isabelle's voice surprised me from my bedroom door and I turned to see her look of disgust upon my choice of clothing.

"A black pantsuit." I replied dryly because that was what it was. I wasn't kidding when I said that I dressed like a nun on the outside.

"Are you trying to commit work suicide on your first day? Seriously Clary, I thought you wanted to get laid." Isabelle was making a big farce out of nothing–out of a black pantsuit.

"Oh my God Iz."

"No, Clary! Go change!"

"I'm supposed to dress professional, not dress like a professional whore. I'm not my mom Isabelle."

"There are ways to look professional and sexy at the same time, now go change!" There was no way I was going to win this and since my last shopping spree consisted of purchasing lingerie and more pantsuit, I had nothing besides my mother's Christmas gift to me last year.

It was a tight, black dress that actually made me look like I had a chest and even though it ended mid-thigh, I was still convinced that it was not appropriate for work or any other place for that matter. I layered a white blazer over top in order to cover my chest and dark sheer tights in case I bent over and everyone saw what I had underneath. Coming back into the room, Isabelle slapped my butt and gave me a catcall. You would think that'd be comfortable after twenty-one years of being best friends, but it wasn't.

"Look at you go! Seriously, you should wear stuff like this more often. I will one hundred percent be willing to lend you my credit card to buy new clothes and to donate your pantsuits to the Salvation Army." Isabelle said and that caused me to roll my eyes. I was going to be late for my first day and Isabelle was going to be late for her job at the hospital.

"Don't you have some old men to give sponge baths to?" I asked and she gave a straight out glare. Shaking her head, she handed me a pair of Louboutins. And I swear, in that moment, we were squealing like we were sixteen again. Eight hundred and forty-five dollars were the price of those shoes and I would cry if they were ever destroyed.

"Happy first day Clary!" She sang and left the room. Putting on the shoes, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw what my mom said about Morgenstern women. Maybe just for this one day, I'd let it slide and let people see me as a Morgenstern woman. Might as well leave an impression on the people in the office.

_**The Boss**_

The moment I slid in the elevator, I was standing with a crowd of people that only looked straight and made no eye contact to anyone whatsoever. None of them spoke and they looked more serious than the Queen of England.

Wayland Inc. was one of the largest cellular and internet companies in New York as well as Eastern USA. To even land a position here was like being Paris Hilton's dog–you got pampered and paid. The woman who interviewed me though, made it clear that the boss fires his personal assistants the way Gordon Ramsay tells off his apprentices and that firing me wouldn't be a surprise. Even with being fired, they doubled your pay for another month and then you were on your own. Being fired from Wayland Inc. is not a good thing to write on your resumé though since nobody really touched an ex-employee of Wayland Inc. It was the unspoken rule of New York and it was kept that way since the company was first created forty years ago.

"Hi, I'm Clary, I'm new here." I raised my right hand to shake the hand of the man beside me, and everyone in the elevator turned to look at me in shock. When I looked up to see whom I was offering my hand to, I realized that it was the CEO also known as my boss, Jace Wayland. I guess that's why everyone was silent. I didn't notice that my hand was still in the same position until he shaked it firmly and smirked.

"Enchanted to meet you Ms. Morgenstern, I believe we'll have a swell time together at Wayland Inc." Dropping my hand, I held in my breath for the rest of the ride up to the sixth floor. Holy hell, he was intimidating and really good looking. A walking, talking Adonis who I knew was staring down at me and burning holes into my hair with his eyes. When the elevator dinged at the sixth floor, everyone in the elevator moved to the sides and cleared a path for Mr. Wayland who strode into the office confidently. Everyone began to chat and talk quickly and I let go of the breath I was holding.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder and I spun around to meet a cute, nerdy boy with brown hair, brown eyes, and brown framed glasses. He looked like he was straight out of a Harry Potter movie–a Neville Longbottom that had puberty hit him like a truck.

"Hi, I'm Simon Lewis, you said your name was Clary right?" The boy introduced himself to me and I could tell that he was nervous. Seems to me that he didn't talk to girls often and this was the type of boy that mom would tell me to stay away from. With one glance, Jocelyn Morgenstern would have told me that this Simon Lewis was an insecure boy that has bad childhood memories and didn't go to prom. I would agree with her typically because mom was good at analyzing people, she just wasn't good at analyzing her own choices.

"Yeah, that's my name. I have to go check in with the secretary, so I'll see you later." I was not going to sleep with him, but who knows Isabelle might go for his type.

I quickly slid away and found the secretary desk right in front of my boss' office.

"Hi, I'm Clarissa Morgenstern, it's my first day here so is there anything that Mr. Wayland needs me to do?" I asked the lady that had greying hair and a glare.

"Just go in, Mr. Wayland will let you know of your duties." I could tell that the woman was old and grouchy. Honestly, it was Monday morning so I'll let it slide. Before I walked in, I decided that knocking was a good idea until the door abruptly opened just as I placed my hand on the wooden door.

"Hello to you again Miss Morgenstern, how can I help you?" My boss asked and it I decided to be courageous and say the worst thing possible.

"I think the question is, how can _I _help you?" When he raised his eyebrows at me, I realized that the reply came back more seductive than I had intended. "You know, since it's my job to assist you with anything you need." Nice save, Morgenstern.

"Black coffee, no cream, no sugar." He replied in a snappy tone and pushed past me. I swear I was going to get fired after today. My name was going to be black balled in all of New York and it would have been my own entire fault.

Some days I wish I moved out of New York and started from scratch, but this is a job that everyone vied after and I wasn't going to give it up. Going to the break room, I saw the coffee machine sitting on the counter next to the fridge. The machine seemed easy enough to use except for a small little card that said, "BEWARE." next to it. The moment I pressed start, the machine began whirring crazily and splattered coffee everywhere except for the mug that was underneath the spout. Luckily, my entire outfit was black except for the blazer–that had to go now.

It was then that my boss decided to walk in. I swear to God, I couldn't tell if he wanted to rip my head off or rip my clothes off. Either way, he was pissed and I was screwed...not in a good way.

"You made a mess." He pointed out in a stern tone that really didn't fit him but hell, he was still sexy.

"Yeah, I know, I'll clean it up."

"Don't be ridiculous, I'll send the janitor over but you should stay away from Betty over there, no one's used her in five years." He was laughing at me at this point. God, if I thought Sebastian was sexy, then Mr. Wayland just turned your entire body into molten lava. In other words: he was hot.

"I guess I'll run down to Starbucks and get you your coffee." I quickly scrambled off my blazer and held it with the crook of my arm. I heard a hitch of breathing on his part and I quickly rushed out of the room. Shit. I knew I should've stuck to my pantsuit. There was going to be a discussion about my choice of clothes and I was going to kill Isabelle when I got home.

By the time I got to Starbucks, I dumped the white blazer into the nearest trashcan. There was no way the coffee stains would ever come off and neither would the humiliation. It didn't even seem realistic to how terrible my first day was going. If I even lasted another day here, it would be a miracle. It sucked how the line up was so long and the woman in front of me had three kids screaming their Frappuccino orders at her. Why would you give five year olds sugar in the morning and in addition to that, why would you bring them out in public? I didn't like children; they got on my every nerve and maybe this had to do with the kids when I was a little girl. I guess kids never liked me and I never liked them.

When I got back to Wayland Inc., my hand was shaking. I could not let the coffee drop or spill, I already messed up so grandly in the past half hour. When the elevator doors opened, there was Mr. Wayland chatting with other people who could be assumed to be important executives. He did not even give me a glance, but rather focused on his discussion with the men in black suits. It made sense though, it was his job and if he wasn't going to be there for the time being, then I'll just put the cup on his desk.

His secretary, I found out that her name was Imogen and that no one wanted to cross her–not even Mr. Wayland himself. I saw that no one was at the desk and there was no one at the office either and that was when I realized that everyone was going out for lunch. God, I was the worst personal assistant ever. No one had ever given me a tour of the place or told me specifically what Jace Wayland actually needed me to do for him besides get his coffee. The only thing I knew was that people didn't quit Wayland Inc., you were fired or you stayed.

Entering the office of my boss, I saw that it literally had a few cabinets, a desk, and a big, black boss chair. Placing the coffee cup on his desk, I snuck out and walked around until lunch ended. Yes, I was hungry and no, I didn't bring food. Today, I found out that the coffee machine doesn't work and that the printer machine had several photos of asses on it. I wonder how long it hasn't been used for since the printer was literally isolated from the rest of the other cubicles and rooms. Traces of confetti seemed to sprinkle the floor but there was dust on the shelves and spider webs formed in the corners. There was something wrong with the printer room and when I came back out, I saw that there was a completely separate printer machine that worked in a completely different room. When I shut the door to the old printer machine room, I saw that it had a sign: "Keep out." The thing was, the door was already wide open before I even entered it. That boggled me a lot, but I'd rather just keep things as is and pretend like I never went in.

As people began flooding back in from lunch, I saw Simon walking towards me with his group of co-worker buddies. He was ogling me in my black dress and suddenly, every person in the room with a penis was staring at my body. It made me feel uncomfortable to how they were staring; some were judging me, some were checking me out, and some were straight out disgusted by the way I dressed.

"This is Maia." He pointed to a girl with curly, chocolate hair who greeted me with a handshake and a smile.

"Hi, nice to meet you and just to be clear, Simon is my boyfriend." Amen. God bless. Thank the Lord that he wasn't single otherwise I'd actually have to avoid him. He began pointing to everyone next to Maia, which consisted of Jordan, Jonathan, and Magnus.

It was then that when I started to become acquainted to these people that my boss decided to show and pull me aside in silence. I was in deep and utter shit.

"Hi, Miss Morgenstern, I'd like to discuss some things that I feel haven't been gone over with you." He said this in a chillingly calm tone that frightened me a bit. Mr. Wayland motioned for me to follow him into his office and when he saw the Starbucks cup on his desk, he tossed it in the trash. Even though it pissed me off on the inside of how unappreciative he was, I needed to remind myself that he could do whatever he wants because not only is he in charge of my paycheck, he is in charge of the entire building and everyone else's paycheck as well.

"Mr. Wayland, if it's about my choice of apparel today, I swear I will change it." These words came tumbling out of my mouth before he could even open his. "I know my conduct was implorable and I'll fix that too, please don't fire me."

The most unexpected thing happened next, he laughed and swung his arm around my shoulder.

"God, who told you I was going to fire you? I am a decent human being and give my P.A.'s three days of messing up before firing them." Three days...at least it was better than one.

"So, you won't fire me?"

"No, I won't Miss Morgenstern, but we do have to discuss your dress code. You do understand that every man in the office was eying your assets and that I need every person in the office focused on their job. We are in charge of New York and most of the East Coast, you understand that right?"

"I understand."

"Good. I'm glad we're at agreement. Second point, have you taken time to look around the building? You look like a lost puppy, honest to God." It was as if he didn't have a filter and if he weren't my boss and just a regular human being on the streets of New York, I would punch him the way my mother punched the men who tried to take further advantage of her.

"Yeah I have."

"Then you know that I expect a coffee on my desk every morning at 9 sharp or else it gets trashed. You need to take notes during my meetings because everyone knows that I cannot read Imogen's paragraphs. I need them in point form and I need you to offer everyone a coffee during these meetings. Are we clear?"

"Crystal."

"Great, you can go."

"Okay, thank you Mr. Wayland."

"Call me Jace." Were the last words I heard before the door clicked and the day dragged on.

**Jace **

_**The Grip**_

_Love. I have always been afraid of it. This is due to the fact that women have always used me for my money or my looks. Falling in love with a person from my past was the last straw when she told me she was only in it for the money. I can't even say her name to this day because it hurt to not be loved. It hurt when your dad dies and your mother is swimming in the beaches of Hawaii with husband number five. _

_I despised the hold that Clary had on me ever since she shook my hand in the elevator. Ever since she introduced herself. I hate her but I love her. And love has always been the scarier thing than hate was. I knew that I was torturing her and I knew that she was struggling with the hate and her name being tainted while I was sailing through a storm safely. _

_I knew better than to start a sexual relationship with an employee, but feelings weren't something I could control. Especially not when I was around her. I also knew better than to hurt her like this: by sleeping with other women while she was suffering. The thing is: she loves me and she told me so, but I have never uttered those words in fear of getting hurt again. _

_Jace Wayland is a coward and he is in love with Clarissa Morgenstern but is too afraid to say three small words that can change the fate of the law. How pathetic is that? _

_**The Actual Start of it All**_

Alcohol. It always made unable to think straight and wake up in someone else's bed. Honestly, the new girl was in my head all week. The surprise was that she lasted the 3 days and that was a record since my first personal assistant. Clary...the name rolled off the tongue and the way she talked sounded crisp and cool and sexy. It was strange for me to pay attention to a personal assistant let alone feel infatuated by the mere presence of them.

Pandemonium was packed tonight as Millennium Lint blasted through every speaker in the room. Strobe lights shown onto the underage youth and brought out their ridiculous dancing. At least the bar was open and those kids stayed away from it. To the stool left of me, there was a blonde twirling her hair at me and biting her lip. For the first time, it made me feel uncomfortable. I always had someone who would go home with me by the end of the night and typically, it'd be the girl who shown interest first. This girl just straight up made me feel like I'd get an STD in the morning.

"So, my name is Seelie and I hear that yours is Jace Wayland." Gold digger. The warning signs flashed behind my eyes. For a man who had practically no standards when it came to vagina, this was my one standard that I stuck by: no gold diggers.

"I have a girlfriend." I lied but she only gave me a smug grin and scoffed.

"No you don't, not anymore you do." I was perplexed to what she meant until she grabbed me by my shirt collar and kissed me. God, I actually felt her germs squirming into my mouth. Quickly, I pushed her away and told her,

"Not interested. Leave or I will." I used my CEO tone which was only used when someone crossed me in the office and was on the verge to being fired.

Luckily, the blonde left but not without a smack to my face. Rolling my eyes, I reverted back to my drink that was set in front of me before the whole kerfuffle. On my right was a girl with flaming red hair who chatted excitingly to the bartender. It was then that I looked closer and saw that it was her. Miss Morgenstern.

"Sooo, when do I get to meet your boyfriend." From the tone of her voice, I could tell that she was the nosy, playful type. If she wasn't working for me, I'm pretty sure I would have brought her home tonight. Especially in the dress she was wearing and those heels that made her legs look mile high.

"Clary, he's your co-worker." The dark haired bartender said to her. It was strange that she didn't even notice I was here; usually all the girls did.

"Tell me Alec or I'll get Izzy to beat it out of you with her cooking." She threatened him with a smile, taking a sip of her Cosmo while he replied with a sigh,

"Magnus Bane."

"He's cute." She commented and threw her head back laughing as the bartender, Alec, gave her a death glare.

"He's also 100% gay." I guess that would explain the glitter on his eyes sometimes. Huh. The things you learn about people outside of work was really astounding.

"Yeah well, I'm gonna go find Isabelle and we're going to get drunk. Work hard Alec." Then she hopped off her stool and had herself lost in the sea of sweaty bodies and testosterone filled boys.

"I saw you looking at her the entire time man." The bartender said to me while I drank my scotch.

"What's your point?" I said in a not-so-kind manner.

"My point is that from what I've seen with that blonde girl back there, you actually care with who you sleep with. And if you want my redheaded friend over there, you might get lucky because she hasn't had sex in six months. Trust me, she's looking for someone to go home with tonight and you seem decent."

I stopped listening the moment he said six months. If I were to abstain for six months, I'm pretty my dick was going to fall off. I knew what he was going at though, he wanted me to sleep with her and if I didn't, some other guy would. Not that I cared or anything, but I'd rather have her come home with me than some other stranger.

"I know you're thinking about it. Go find her." He said to me lastly before taking away my glass and walking away.

The bartender didn't understand that I couldn't start a relationship with an employee. It was practically written in my father's will that if I were to violate any company laws he set up, I would have to forfeit the company power to someone on the board of directors. This was a bad idea and my feet seemed to do all my thinking tonight.

When I saw her, there was a man that kept trying to move his hand below her waist. Clarissa Morgenstern was a fighter though and continuously pushed his hand away. Even though she tried to move away, he wrapped his arm around her waist and began to grind against her. The expression of disgust on her face was enough for me to step in.

Maybe it was the wrong move to push the guy away from her. I should have kept away and kept my distance. A fight broke out between the stranger and me in no less than seven seconds. Miss Morgenstern was screaming all over the place trying to take the guy off of me.

By the end of the night, I was outside of the club holding a bruised jaw and a bruised nose. The board was not going to be happy about this. I saw the guy come out of the club with two security guards and handcuffs. Turns out, he was actually dealing ecstasy and LSD.

"Mr. Wayland, if it's alright can I ask what you were trying to do back there?" She was trying so hard not to yell at me, but part of me wanted her to. It was my fault that I stepped into her circle.

"He was dangerous; you should be thanking me." The moment that came out of my mouth, I earned a hard slap to my cheek. A gasp followed after her impulsive action and she apologized profusely. Of course, she didn't want to lose her job.

"I'm so sorry for what happened tonight, but my safety is my problem Mr. Wayland."

"I simply saw a damsel in distress that couldn't handle the situation so I handled it for her. Now I think I need to go home and get an ice pack on my face." As I spewed all this out angrily, I saw guilt flash throughout her entire face and she took my hand, dragging me to her car.

In her glove compartment, there was a first aid kit.

"My best friend's a nurse, it's always good to have a kit on hand." She began to break an ice pack so that the chemical reaction occurred. As she handed it to me, the rest of my body took over and I did the thing that could have ended my career: I kissed her.

I tasted the alcohol that still remained in her mouth and I was sure she could taste mine. In the midst of it all, her fingers began running through my hair and her dress rode up. When are bodies began to move, her head hit the roof of the car and the haze that the two of us were in was gone.

"I'm so sorry." She profusely apologized and sat back in her seat to pull her dress down properly. In the time being, I was still catching my breath and cooling down from the fire I received in her mouth.

"I'm sorry too." I finally said but she wouldn't look at me.

"I'll hand in my resignation on Monday Mr. Wayland." No, no, no, I didn't want her to leave. God, this was all my fault.

"Miss Morgenstern, do you not agree that it was just a kiss? Nothing attached and it was a one time thing." I hoped that it wasn't just a one time thing, but I knew that it was wrong to want to do it again.

She nodded and walked out of her car. She left me wondering whether or not I should stay here and watch her car or chase her. The only thing I knew was that if I wasn't having sex tonight, neither is she. When she came back, she came with a long legged black haired girl named Isabelle.

Isabelle was drunk off her ass and was thrown into the back seat. In the mix of it all, I didn't even stop Miss Morgenstern when she started to drive. It was illegal, but I was too indisposed to even think of consequences. Somehow, we got back to her apartment safely and she didn't know what to do about me.

"Do you want to stay the night or do you want to call someone?" She asked and I only crashed my body on the couch, leaving her to stand there in confusion. There was going to be no man but me in her apartment tonight. Looking around, I saw that everything was very simple. Nothing that stood out in her apartment; there was no TV, no other couches, and no bursts of colour on the wall. In a way, it was similar to my own home except my house was literally dead. I did not enter my home in a month. Somehow, the airport had become my home as did the office.

"Do you want a blanket Mr. Wayland?" I hadn't even noticed that she left the room. God, her legs looked great in the dress and now, I wished I hadn't spoken to her about the dress code a few days ago.

The next few words just tumbled out of my mouth; I really should not be allowed to drink.

"You want to keep me warm and be my blanket?" It came out as a slur but the only reaction that came out of her was,

"You're drunk and so am I, but I'm not that drunk." Throwing the blanket on me, she retreated to her room and when I heard the click of the door, I knew that we were done for the night and I probably wouldn't even remember these words in the morning.

**Author's Note: It's likely that this story won't be updated often so please be patient. I do need to finish How to Love in 20 Days as well as juggle a bunch of other things that make me want to shoot myself. I don't even know why I'm doing this to myself but I want to write this. **

**Read and review, send me cool songs too! **

**-Ry**


	2. Chapter 2: The Morning Star

**Clary**

_**99 Problems**_

_Fairytales. When I was little, I wished that I was Ariel in The Little Mermaid. I wished that I had a dad that protected me and cared enough to find me. Sadly, that wasn't the case. I don't know who my dad is and I have never even tried to search because I had no where to start and my mom refused to even speak about him. I hated the fact that when I thought I had my Prince Eric, he ended up either wanting to go after another girl or being a CEO that couldn't start relationships with their employees. _

_It sucked that my name was black balled in New York. All these papers had my name and Jace's name on it. My mother even called to see if I wanted to stay with her, and Isabelle...I didn't even talk to her about this yet because I've locked myself up in here for God knows how long. I only came out when she went for work and stayed in when she came home and I locked door. I don't understand why I can't just have a happy ending or maybe this isn't even the ending. _

_Jace hasn't tried to text me, e-mail me, or call me. Of course, he couldn't risk ending his entire career for a girl. A slutty girl who was willing to spread her legs for her boss and hoped that they wouldn't get caught. A naïve girl who thought love existed when clearly everything has failed. They were investigating him right now and he had already been suspended by the board. I needed to stop being so selfish and I needed to stop thinking of myself. Moving somewhere sounded great right now; maybe I could help someone other than myself...or Jace. Forgetting would be great because I never needed anyone before him._

_**The Morning Star**_

Hungover. The in-between of being drunk and sober and having a massive headache that made you want to drink more to rid yourself of the headache. When I woke up, I found myself in the same bed as Isabelle with her head between my thighs. That was not an okay sight for me and it made me wonder what she was doing between there last night.

The thoughts of last name came flooding into my brain, I remembered a slimy man trying to dance and curve his body against mine and I remembered my own boss punching him. I remembered kissing him in a car and almost giving myself to him. Then, I remembered him telling me that it was just a kiss.

Just a kiss. _Just a kiss. _The kiss had made my mouth go on fire and my body electric. It made me crave him. How wrong was that? I wanted to bed my boss along with all the other attractive, single women in the building. I had to keep telling myself that it was just a kiss and that he probably had a girlfriend waiting at home and I couldn't risk being that other woman that destroyed a relationship.

From the outside of my room, I heard groaning and a small hiss of,

"Shit." This was the other part that I remembered: he wanted to sleep with me but he was drunk and probably didn't even remember how he got here. Lightly rolling Isabelle's head away from my thighs, the girl didn't even let out a groan or a whimper. She slept like a pig and I quickly ran to the couch to see to if he was still there.

"Hi, Mr. Wayland. Is there anything I can help you with?" I didn't know any other way to greet him than with the way I usually did when I entered the office.

"You're off hours Miss Morgenstern, you don't have to help me with anything." He groaned and rubbed at his temples. Even hungover, he didn't even look bad–his white dress shirt was wrinkled but the loosened tie made him look like a model. He didn't even have to try...not in the way all the other men had to.

"Well it's sort of in my job description that I attend to your needs after hours too." I said awkwardly and he chuckled.

"If that's it, then you won't mind making me a coffee, some painkillers, and calling my mother to hook me up with one of those girls she wants me to date." After seeing my incredulous expression to the last part of the sentence, he smiled and told me it was a joke. If there was some way that I could capture that smile, I would. It was something beautiful and I could tell it wasn't something he did often.

After giving him painkillers, he asked for his coffee. I didn't know if he was joking about the coffee since the way to battle a hangover was through water, rest, and pills.

"Are you joking?" I asked and he gave me this look as if I was the crazy person.

"No?" He said this like a question and it was my turn to laugh.

"You don't drink coffee to get rid of a hangover, you drink water."

"I hate water." Was his only reply and he spat this out of his mouth like venom.

"How can you hate water? Your body is practically majority water."

"Are you insinuating something about my body Miss Morgenstern?" This time he smirked and it made all the blood in my body rush to my cheeks. Note to self: Never speak about your boss' body in front of his face.

"No, I'm just saying that you need water to survive so if your body doesn't have enough water intake, then you can die." Nice save Morgenstern. It helped that my statement came out strongly rather than in a nervous way that would have set the scenario to predator versus prey in which he would be the predator and I would be the mousy prey that he can chew up and throw me out at anytime.

"Huh. I see. Do you have Fiji water?" He asked. Fiji water. That was the overpriced water that us peasants couldn't afford on a regular basis.

"Is that the only type of water you drink?" I asked back and he nodded. All I had to do was improvise and nod back. "I'll be right back with your Fiji water."

Quickly, I turned on my stove and began boiling water. Fiji water was honestly just a cleaner version of regular water–that's what they say at least. When the water began to boil, I turned the stove off and poured the water into a glass cup with had three ice cubes in it. Placing a dash of sugar into the cup, my makeshift Fiji water was ready.

When I came back, I saw that Mr. Wayland was inspecting my apartment more closely. He was looking at the photos of Isabelle and I in Coney Island and the photos of Isabelle's family and me clashing in their family photo.

"Mr. Wayland?" I said clearly, pretending that I just came into the room. He nearly dropped the picture frames but quickly composed himself.

"Yes?"

"Your water." I held it out to him in which he quickly drank.

"Thanks." He seemed to have a satisfied look on his face which meant my makeshift Fiji water worked. I should really have renamed it and called it Clary water; I like to think that it would make a fortune.

"I'm going to get back to the office and finish some paperwork." He said handing the glass back to me. He began to make his way to the door when Isabelle came out groggily and raised her eyebrows at me.

"Clary, who's this? Did you finally have sex? Seriously, six months–" She stopped talking the moment I gave her a death glare and I mouthed to her, 'my boss'.

For someone who was so into gossip, she never found out who Jace Wayland was. I had only ever Googled him because I was going for the job interview.

"Oh fuck, I'm sorry. Isabelle Lightwood." She raised up her hand to shake his, but he was in just as much of a shock as me. If only Isabelle had a filter sometimes, I think life would be easier.

"Izzy…" I began, but he took her hand and gave her a firm shake.

"Jace Wayland."

"You're Jace Wayland? God, those cameras really do make you look ten times fatter. You're actually really attractive in person." She said and I actually proceeded to bang my head on the nearest wall. So she did know who he was but thought he looked fat on camera. Kill me right now. I was going to lose this job.

"I like to think I'm attractive always. I turn myself down on occasion just to keep it interesting." Jace said smugly in reply to Isabelle's brash words. Could he just leave already?

"Well Jace, I think you and Clary should bang. I am totally in favour of seeing your body in this apartment 24/7." Isabelle stated, I swear to God, this girl was still drunk.

"Okay, that's it. Mr. Wayland, I think you should go now and you need to go take a bath and cool your head." I pointed to Isabelle and pushed her into the hall of the bathroom.

"Your friend is funny."

"Yeah, totally." I said sarcastically, not knowing if I would lose my job right now.

"I think she's the only one actually calls me by my first name besides my mother, who actually calls me by my other first name."

"Do you want me to call you by your first name?"

"I asked you to the other day didn't I?" He stepped a bit closer to me and on impulse, I stepped back.

"Yes...Jace."

"Then all is good and I'll be on my way. I'll see you tomorrow Miss Morgenstern." He began to turn the handle, right when I said.

"If I have to call you Jace, you have to call me Clary."

"All right Clary." His voice rang in the hallway and it slowly died as the door shut completely. It wasn't right to feel special when he said my name, but I do feel that way. I could see the smile that was written across his face when he did say it, even though his head was turned away from me.

"Claryyyyy." Isabelle sang from the bathtub. I am going to kill her. Slowly wring her neck and then bash her head against the tap of the bathtub.

"Isabelle Sophia Lightwood, I am going to kill you!" Storming into the bathroom, I saw that she had a rubber duck in her hand and bubbles flying everywhere. I didn't understand how this girl wasn't hammered after last night.

"Clary, Clary, Clary, just bang him."

"I'd lose my job."

"Well, I'm sure he wants to do you and still guarantee that you still have a job." I did not want to talk about this so I did the thing that would sober her up even though it was a low blow.

"Isabelle, do you ever think about Max?" This was when she snapped her head up and dropped the rubber duck.

"Clary, please don't talk about Max."

"I'm just asking if you ever think of him."

"Everyday."

"Then what was the last thing he said to you?"

"Pick your words carefully even though there are those who matter that don't mind, the words still matter." Isabelle quoted her deceased brother perfectly. Max was sixteen when he had cancer and died a week after his seventeenth birthday. Ever since then, the Lightwood family was in shambles.

"He was so hurt by dad..." She began and started to cry. Robert Lightwood was a man of many words and maybe that's where Isabelle received the trait of lacking a filter. His words had hurt everyone–some so bad that they couldn't even be repeated. If I were to be honest here, his words had hurt me too when he called me out on being in his house too much. Having no real mother figure or a father had not helped me at all.

"Do you want to be like him?" I asked sternly and she shook her head.

"Then you have to think before you speak because I don't need sex to be happy. I'm alone but I'm not lonely, I still have you and Alec." I explained and she nodded.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, he won't come around anymore." As much as I wanted him to, it wasn't right even though it didn't feel wrong.

"Clary, if you weren't working for Jace, I think you would have went for him already." I knew she said this in pure honesty and pure truth. It was one of those moments where she truly reflected on Max's last words.

"I know." I smiled sadly to myself. The only person I ever dated was Sebastian and I've only ever slept with two people in my life: Sebastian and this one asshole in high school named Gabriel whom I lost my virginity to and also ended up being Isabelle's long lost cousin once removed.

"I think he'll come back." Isabelle mused and threw some bubbles in the air.

"What makes you think that?"

"He looks like the type who loves adventure and don't think I didn't see him punch out that guy for you." She smirked. It reminded me of Max; always curious and always a snarky little bugger who wanted to change the world for the greater good. Even I looked up to the boy who thought the stars would rain one day and that chasing after infinity was possible if you were really passionate about it.

"He was just helping me."

"Or he couldn't stand the fact that another guy had his hands on you. You were hot last night Clary and I'm pretty sure he wanted to sleep with you." It was like she was psychic and heard what he said to me last night.

"He can do better."

"But honey, you already are better and if he just gives up, then surely he isn't worth it."

_**The Flightless Bird**_

Stress. It broke everyone down that Sunday morning. The stocks were dropping bit by bit each day for the past week and no one had thought of a solution yet. We were in the meeting room and I was paraphrasing everything that was going on.

There was lots of yelling between Jace and the executives. They blamed it on him; blamed it on his youth mostly. You could probably see the hate in their eyes when they spoke to him. In technicality, Jace could have fired them but I could tell that these were people that he trusted with the well-being of the company.

"Investors are pulling out Mr. Wayland! Had your father been still alive, he would have fixed this already." An old man by the name of Hodge Starkweather began his rant in which Jace interrupted.

"Had my father been still alive, he would have seen the billions I've made out of this company and the food that I placed on your dinner table every single night." Jace said in a viciously low voice that caused the room to go silent, "How about instead of arguing over my how I lead a team, we actually work together to figure out a solution."

It was inferred that everyone agreed the moment they began chattering and Jace began scribbling furiously onto a sheet of paper.

"Does everyone here know our mission statement?" Everyone nodded but a teenage intern in which Jace immediately tested him. The boy didn't even know the the first word to it which was Wayland Incorporated. Needless to say, Jace fired him and he was escorted out of the room by a security guard.

"Mr. Wayland, I hardly see why firing my grandson was necessary." Mr. Starkweather said. He was testing Jace's patience and everyone in the room wanted to slam their head on the table.

"Wayland Incorporated, a company committed to providing extraordinary connection services to those in need and desire through understanding and immediate solutions. That's twenty-one words that your grandson didn't even care to memorize or forgot. This is the statement that my father came up with when he built this company from pure scratch and imagination. And this is what we have to do in order to find the solution. We need to understand."

The only thing that moved in the entire room were the rise and falls of everyones' bodies. No one wanted to cross Jace at this point. The boy was lucky to have been an intern rather than an actual worker. At least he wasn't black balled; just humiliated by one of the richest CEOs in New York.

"I want everyone in the office to go out right now and figure out what people are saying about the stocks and I want them all back in an hour with results. All executives are going to try and he negotiate with different investors because we cannot have anyone pull out at this point. Is that clear?"

The yes' rang through the room with myself included. Jace looked up and his eyes met mine for a fraction of a second before he bent his head down and excused everyone from the room but Mr. Starkweather and me.

"Listen Hodge, I know you've been at my father's side since you were a boy working as an intern but would it kill you to show respect towards me when things go wrong? I need your loyalty to this company as well as myself or I'd hate to let you go."

"Mr. Wayland, you need to understand that my loyalty isn't something to be questioned."

"Then why am I questioning it?" I wasn't sure why I was even in here. Outside the meeting room, there was a rush of noise and chatter from those beginning their journey to the solution. I wish I could be one of those people right now.

"You are not your father."

"Of course I'm not, I'm his son and clearly there have been many successes when I took over and many successes when he was still here. Just let me do my job without you trying to humiliate me for every second. I'm honestly sorry that your grandson doesn't care enough about this job to know its high expectations. This is life Hodge and you may not necessarily like me in it, but I am so do your job and let me do mine. You're excused." Jace said lastly with huff and Hodge left with a slam.

"I need whiskey." Jace muttered and got up from his chair and left the room.

If there was anything I understood from the whole thing, it's that people wanted to bring him down and he was fighting to stay. Anyone could see that Jace was a great leader, but they didn't understand how he thought. Maybe it was the different types of passion that ran through his father and himself that made people confused.

After I cleared the table, I found the sheet he was scribbling on earlier. It was the mission statement along with the words "fuck me" below. With the depth of the words in which he had dug his pen in, you could see the frustration that came with it. Taking the piece of paper with me, I bought it over to the shredder and it disintegrated into small criss cross fragments of what it used to be.

"Mr. Wayland?" I knocked on his door, I didn't think it was right to use his first name right now.

"What?" He grunted while taking a sip of whiskey. Jace looked like he had the worst headache and was on the verge of breaking down into tears.

"I was wondering if you wanted me to go out with the others to find information..." I began and he slammed his hand on the mahogany desk and slid his glass of alcohol off in which it shattered into hundreds of pieces.

"Sit down Clary." Jace commanded in frustration.

"Am I trouble?"

"No! God no, look me in the eye and tell me I'm a good boss." Was he being serious?

Looking directly at his eyes, I said that he was a good boss. Great even. In all honesty, Jace Wayland knew what he was doing and people needed to stop questioning the steps he was taking to achieve excellence.

"At least someone thinks I'm the shit." He tried to joke, but it came out as a cry of misery from his eyes.

"So what are you going to do now?"

"I don't know. Wait for them to come back and try to call some investors. You cannot stop doubt and the stocks are dropping because people are doubting us and they think we'll drop. Our job that comes next is to reassure them that we're a strong foundation. This company will not crumble, I can promise everyone that."

"Well you also have to get people to join the services too right? It'll raise the value." I said and Jace smiled.

"My personal assistants have never actually gave me actual assistance before. What you're saying is that instead of sending my employees to reassure the people, we need to sell our services and market further for sales to explode and for our stocks to go up." I nodded at what he said and he chuckled.

"I might as well hand my position over to you now. All this bullshit's been getting to my head and I didn't even think of that. Thank you Clary."

"It's no problem." I said with an awkward smile. Happy boss equals happy employees and happy paychecks.

"If you want, you can help me make some phone calls too." He suggested, but I shook my head nervously.

"I'm not trained for this." I said.

"You just have to be charismatic and be able to hold a conversation. Just watch me do one and it'll be your turn. All right?" To say that Jace had faith in me was an understatement; there was part of me that felt like he believed in me.

As he spoke on the phone to an investor, his tawny eyes were on me the entire time and had a glint to it when he laughed with the investor. The more Jace spoke, the more the conversation merged into talks about business. Jace sounded like an old friend to the investor and the conversation ended with a smile on Jace's face.

"That was Luke Garroway, he says he won't pull out. Thank God." My blood ran cold when I heard that name. That was the man that my mother tried to get me to call dad, but I screamed at him and pushed him out the house. God, it was fucked up.

"Clary, are you all right?" Jace asked, waving a hand over my eyes.

"Yeah, um, I'm gonna go get some water before I start." Stepping out of the room, I heaved out a breath of air and made my way to the water dispenser.

I wondered if my mother was still seeing him. I didn't even remember if she had another man in her bed after that night. God, he was so kind and I couldn't accept the fact that he wasn't my real dad.

"Clary, are you ready?" Jace called from the door.

"Yeah, definitely." I threw away the Styrofoam cup and walked back into his office.

"Okay, so the investor's names will be laid across the table and you just pick one and there will be information about them." Jace explained, spreading all the brown folders across.

Picking up the phone, I dialled a number and began to speak when they picked up,

"Hi this is Clarissa Morgenstern from Wayland Incorporated, I was calling to see if I could..." I was solid from there and I could see Jace's proud smile plastered on his face. It was that smile again; it made me want to be a better person and it made me want to do the things that made him proud.

I feel like bird; soaring.

**Jace **

_**The Other Woman **_

_Her hands slid around my neck and as she began to trail kisses down my torso, I stopped her. _

_"Aline, we can't do this." I stated, but she didn't stop. Instead she placed her lips onto mine and tried to move against them, consistently grinding against me. _

_"Just let go Jace, forget about her." How could I forget the one person that made me feel on fire? Once, she called me her saviour and told me that I was like the Dying Man; helping everyone in need while I got persecuted. Where was I when she needed me though? Clary had made me seem like the most selfless man on earth when in fact I was the most selfish. _

_"I can't."_

_"Then why did you tell your mother to call me? Listen, I'm hot and so are you, let's just do this." Aline kept trying but I could tell that her patience was swindling. _

"_I can't just forget about her Aline! She was everything!" I didn't even know I had shouted until she rolled off of me and put her shirt back on. Angrily, she kept shaking her head at me and muttering profanities. _

"_And what am I to you then?" She spat out and crossed her arms. I could tell she felt used and I knew I couldn't do this anymore; I couldn't just use girls and throw them away. Isn't that what I did to Clary?_

"_I don't love you." _

"_That's all I needed to hear Jace, don't ever call me again." Then, she slammed the door and I was left sitting on my bed wondering where Clary was and what she was doing. Aline didn't matter. I don't even think my position at the company mattered anymore. They could have it; I just want my girl back. _

_**The Morning Star**_

Morgenstern. It means "Morning Star" in English and this was what Clary was: a star. If she hadn't suggested that we promote our services, I'm pretty sure that we would not be partying right now. A week after that horrific meeting, stocks went flying for Wayland Inc. while the other companies tumbled. The investors that pulled out, wanted back in and I refused to let them back. It was the best of times at this point. The entire office was out celebrating and I sat in my office sorting all these papers out that I had to sign.

"Jace?" The familiar voice called out from the door and I looked up to see my assistant.

"Shouldn't you be out celebrating?" I asked, she even had the dress on that she wore on the first day. I thought I made the dress code clear, but seriously, nothing in my brain told me to tell her to fix it. I may have looked like a creep staring at her body like that, but the dress was great on her. She was great.

"It's not a party without the boss." She sang with a shrug and flirtatious smile that was contagious considering I found myself smiling to her smile.

"I have work." I stated. I couldn't help but grin when she came around my desk and wrapped her hand around mine to pull me off my chair.

"And we have to celebrate. You work everyday, take a break." She urged and I let her tug me out the door. Somehow, our fingers had interlocked and I didn't let go of her hand until she realized that our fingers were still interlaced.

"Sorry." She apologized as the elevator began to move downwards. When the elevator doors opened, a cry of, "SURPRISE!" came through and I saw each member with party hats and a glass of champagne.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" They all yelled and began to sing the song. Clary came around with a gigantic cake and stood in front of me. I didn't even remember that I turn 28 today until I saw the candles.

"Make a wish." She whispered.

Closing my eyes, I blew out the two candles. **I wish to fall in love by the end of this year. **It may seem like a wish that was unrealistic, but it was something I always wanted and never had time for. I hated the fact that my mother consistently tried to set me up with all her friends' daughters. They were whores looking for a way to up their image. When I opened my eyes again, I saw that the cake had disappeared from my face and it was set on the table. Every employee was being cut a slice and Clary had gone missing in the sea of employees.

As hard as I tried to search for her, there was no use. Who knew I had this many employees? Even Hodge, the old grump was drinking champagne and wearing a party hat. Everyone was happy...everyone but me. Someone tapped me on the shoulder and I saw that it was her.

"You look out of place." She pointed out, "Are you not happy with the surprise party? Because if you want, you can go back to work alone." I could tell that Clary was trying to joke with me.

"I'm happy with the surprise party. I haven't seen everyone so happy before. It's just overwhelming." I explained and she nodded.

"Okay, how about you grab some people that you want to go out for lunch with and I'll take care of the party?" How about no? How about you stay with me?

Maybe the next lines came out too forward, but she said yes.

"You're the only person I want to take out to lunch." I knew the rules to my father's company by-laws: do not initiate serious relationships with employees and do not initiate relations that could jeopardize company image. This was dangerous, but I did not want to be around these people; I just wanted to be with her and just...talk. Clary was a good listener and gave good advice. She was smart, adaptive, and beautiful to look at.

Moving through the flood of confetti and people, we found our way to the exit and walked to a quaint, little restaurant called Taki's. She looked uncomfortable being alone with me. It was weird; having lunch with your boss alone.

"So...why did you want to take me out to lunch?" She asked.

"I just want someone to talk to. Did you know all my past assistants have tried to initiate relationships with me? They were all fired. I trust you Clary, you're my friend." Even though I didn't want to be just friends, it was the right thing to say. It stuck to the rules and the rules were safe.

"What did you want to talk about?"

I don't know...each other I guess since we're friends." I am aware that I'm being manipulative. This was a sick way to learn things about someone.

"Well I've been here all my life. There's nothing really to know about me. I'm very plain Jane." Clary said about herself, but anyone could see that she was hiding something.

"What about your family?" I asked and her face began to pale.

"My mom is somewhere in New York, I haven't really contacted her for awhile and I don't know who my dad is."

"What do you mean you don't know who your dad is?" I pressed and at this point, I knew I'd gone too far.

"It means that my mom won't tell me who he is and I'm twenty-six years old and I still don't have a dad."

"Well I'm twenty-eight and my dad's dead." I tried to empathize with her but she wouldn't let me.

"You knew who he was though." Note to self: if you ever try to learn something about someone, their family probably isn't a good place to start fifty-one percent of the time.

"What about your roommate Isabelle?" I asked and she bursted into a fit of laughter.

"God, I knew that girl since I was four. She knows everything about me. What about you? You got any good friends?" Nicely played; turning the tables back on me.

"Just you and a few of my father's really old friends. Never really had anyone before."

"Not even girlfriends?" She raised her brows when she asked this. No doubt about it that I wasn't a virgin, but I never had time.

"Nope. No time, had to learn how to make money."

"Wow, that's a shocker." She seemed genuinely surprised at this fact.

"Yeah, that's why my mother wants to set me up with all these girls. God, if I wanted to pick right now, I'd be on The Bachelor. Apparently, she'll be dead by the time she sees her grandkids but with the amount of botox she's going through, it seems to amp up her life more. She's not going anywhere soon." I spoke to Clary like I spoke to Luke. It was easy and light.

"My mother just wants me to be loved and respected." Clary said but there was something behind those words that she refused to say.

"Doesn't every mother?"

"No. Not every mother."

_"_And how do you know?"

"I just do."

If there was something I knew about Clary was that every time she told me a half truth, her hands would fidget against something. Every time she told the truth, her hands would remain stable. I didn't want to point this out yet because it was a weakness of hers I'd like to keep to myself. Again, I'm a manipulative asshat, so what can you do?

"Enough about my family, are you an only child?"

I gave her a small nod and the waitress came to take our order. I could see that out of the corner of my eye that the waitress was eyeballing me and she looked about fifty.

"We'll have the Couple's Special." I didn't even read what it consisted of but it was just to chase away the old lady.

Before I let Clary say anything, I gave both our menus to the waitress in which she hurried away in embarrassment.

"Why did you order that? That's the most expensive thing on the menu and we're not dating and this isn't a date." Well that felt like a slap to the face.

"I only fine dine Clary." I decided not to comment on the last part of what she said and took a sip of the wine That was given with the Couple's Special. Red wine–the key to seduction and giving the atmosphere a sultry feel.

I had to constantly remind myself that I couldn't do this to her or to myself. She isn't worth losing a job over. She's just a girl that won't even let me know her. She's just a girl.

I knew that part of me liked her. I liked how her fingers fit perfectly with mine, I liked the way her lips moved when she spoke, I liked the way that her body moulded into mine when we kissed, and the list goes on. I liked her but I couldn't have her...so why was I doing this?

Just as the waitress arrived with the food, I decided to be the biggest douche on the planet and I slapped two hundred dollars on the table.

"I have to go."

"Why?" Clary asked incredulously, and I just shrugged,

"Work." I knew my tone was clipped but I needed these feelings to go away and the only way that was going to happen was if I stayed away from her.

"Do you need me to come back with you?"

"No, just eat."

"Alone?" She asked as I stood up and she chuckled humorlessly to herself. "I'll just pull up a seat with that guy over there, he looks like he needs a _friend._" She was pissed, and she was only holding it in because I was her boss. She had clearly emphasized on the word friend in order to call me a hypocrite and a liar in the most civil way possible.

In every way, I was jealous of the man who got to eat lunch with her. The moment she sat down beside him, a smile lit up on his face and she even wrote him her number. They were laughing by the time I met the doorway of Taki's. I had ditched her so I could ditch the feelings I felt. I hated ignoring them because gnawed and gnawed and didn't stop even when I made my way to my office. I had royally fucked up but it was for the good of everyone. The board had already got wind of what happened at the club, but it hadn't violated anything since I didn't end up in jail that night. They kept a watchful eye though and I could not risk anything right now...not for her.

When I got back to my office, I saw a rat like boy in my room shaking a small box…it was Simon Lewis.

"Mr. Lewis, what are you doing in here?" I asked and he immediately stood up taller and put the box on my desk.

"Oh, hi Mr. Wayland." He stuttered while he spoke and it irritated me. Why couldn't people be confident with their words? "Clary told me to leave this on your desk."

"I was out at lunch. Why were you shaking the box? What's in it?"

"I don't know what's in it…that's why I was shaking it." He said and I saw that there was a red ribbon tied on top of a sleek, silver box and a tag that said, "From Clary" with a smiley face.

"You're excused, I'll see what's in it." The moment Lewis left, I immediately grabbed the box and savaged the box open. Inside, were a set of cufflinks that had silver pointed star cufflinks. I didn't remember getting a gift since I took over the company. It never crossed my mind that anyone had even known my birthday until this year. She must have searched around and planned this whole thing and I was a complete douche.

Why was she making it so hard to stay away and to hate her? I have never had a personal assistant that actually did well. All of them have tried to come onto me in one way or another and they were fired within a week. Clarissa Morgenstern…God bless her beautiful, beautiful soul. I wish that I could just hate her.

I wish I stopped thinking of her. I buried the box of cufflinks into my desk drawer and went straight to work. There was no way that I was going to think of her at all. It isn't right. What's right, is my career right now and everything that comes with it. She is wrong; so wrong for me.

But why is it that I feel in place with the tectonic plates of the earth when she holds my hand? That's another question to be answered.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I have this horrible habit of updating really soon when I start out a story and then writer's block kicks in because I do something idiotic and cannot be turned around. I also have this horrible habit of not getting a new beta that isn't busy or is a grammar freak because I don't read my stuff over. I also type this on my phone in Google docs because I can't get to a computer sometimes and it's likely that I'll make tons of mistakes. This is a story where I'm not trying to rush the plot or anything, I just want it to be simple but complex. I'll definitely start the next chapter after I post this!

Clary's scenes: _Whiskey Problems by Artist vs. Poet  
With Love by Christina Grimmie  
__Flightless Bird by Iron and Wine _

Jace's scenes: _These Four Words by The Maine  
Coast of Maine by Ivory_

Hope you enjoy this chapter! I do not know when the next one will be up but I know for sure that I never write in the summer...I don't know why.

Please review, follow, and favourite! It pushes me to be better! I also changed my username because I got bored. I don't actually like this username so if you have any suggestions, please PM me or review! : )

-Ry


	3. Chapter 3: The Deal

**Clary**

_**The Streetlight People **_

_Humans. What a disgusting word. What a sick excuse for breath. If I could become anything I wanted, I would be a butterfly...people admired butterflies until they died. They wouldn't toss me around and use me like he did._

_I was dying and cringing more and more each day. For the past month, I cried until I ran out of tears. There was nothing to cry about anymore because he is gone and I am too. We have no more roads to cross or streets to follow each other in. _

_I didn't mean anything to him. _

_At least that's what the girl said to me. Black hair and almond shaped eyes. Absolutely stunning; that's the exact type that Jace would be with. I was someone who was unattainable and when I was, I became last month's laundry. The girl had slapped me and told me that I could have him, but that I didn't mean anything to him. This was the first time I had even gone out in a month and what I received were glares and whispers. I hadn't had this many whispers about me ever. The thing is, the slap didn't even hurt, what hurt was the fact that he didn't think about me and didn't want to contact me. I was meaningless. _

"_I know I don't mean anything to him." I stated to her in a stoic tone. "He'll never love me or anyone." _

"_I'm just letting you know that he's forgotten about you just like he's forgotten about me. Kisses means nothing to him after all." She said to me and I felt the hurt pang through every single nerve in my heart. I remembered the first night he kissed me in that car,_

"_Miss Morgenstern, do you not agree that it was just a kiss?" He had said to me. I knew that she was with him earlier because she smelled exactly as the way he did when he woke up every morning. I would know. I love him. _

"_I just need to know one thing." I said to the girl and she crossed her arms, not even a flash of empathy showing through her eyes. _

"_Did you see star cufflinks on his suit sleeve when you stripped him down?" I nearly broke down when I said those words, but those cufflinks had been my first gift that I had ever given to him and he said that they meant the entire night sky to him. _

"_Yes, there was one missing though...crazy asshole spent the night looking for them until I stopped him. God, he kept looking back, but now he doesn't care and neither should you." I didn't know whether or not to think that this was good or bad. He cared. Somewhere in there was still Jace Wayland and he still cared for me no matter what anyone said. _

_**The Great Collapse**_

Anger. It surged through me when I had to speak to that man in the restaurant and when Jace suddenly got up to leave. I didn't understand how you could call someone a friend and then leave them. As kind as Meliorn was throughout the entire lunch, I couldn't help but continually feel angry about how Jace just left. Even when Meliorn begun to speak, my thoughts had drifted to Jace and his reaction when he saw the gift I had gotten him.

The significance of those stars...I had no idea how I even had a hold of them. My mother had told me to give them away when I was five to any boy that invited me to his party. Needless to say, no boy had invited me to his birthday party because I was the loser who supposedly didn't know what her mom did for living.

They were one of a kind cufflinks that were my father's and worth over five hundred dollars. I had held onto them for the longest time until now and I knew Jace would appreciate the beauty of it. If he had looked closely onto the stars, there was an M on it and when you flipped it upside down, it would be a W. I know I didn't buy it, but it had meant everything to me and I didn't want to keep it anymore without knowing who the hell my father was. Hell, my mother even burned my birth certificate in order to keep me from knowing who my father was.

I used to think that he was a soldier in a war and had died with honour and bravery or that maybe he left her to fend for herself, but I knew that wasn't the case, otherwise why would she try so hard to hide this from me? Every time it was "Take Your Child to Work Day" in elementary, all these kids would come back telling the class how their dads or moms had such cool jobs. I couldn't even say mine because my mother couldn't bring me to work and all the teachers had given me a pitiful look when they found out that I didn't have a father.

When I finished lunch with Meliorn, he had asked for my number. This was my moment. I could get that mind blowing O that I had waited six months for, but stupidly, I declined. It was the look on his face that made me decide that I wasn't being stupid because he had called me a whore because I jumped from guy to guy. Jace was not my boyfriend. Jace was my boss and nothing more. My only reaction to when he called me that was shoving the red wine at his face and I stormed out of the restaurant. It was like guys enjoyed being assholes to me today and there was nothing I could do about it. At least the food was good and I had my fill.

As I made my way back to the company building, I saw that everyone was flooding into their cars with their party hats still on.

"Hey Magnus!" I called over to Isabelle's brother's boyfriend in which he quickly waved me over.

"Darling, would you like to join us? We're going to the club and getting wasted."

"It's a Thursday, I don't think Jace would appreciate it if everyone came into work hungover tomorrow." I was against this, there should be no drinking or getting wasted until it was your designated day off.

"Honey, you're the only one who actually cares what the boss says and you're the only one who calls him by his first name. Even if I get fired from here, I have places to go and new jobs to find." With this, Magnus jumped into his car and drove away. I was envious of him; he had somewhere and someone to go to every night. I hated New York and if Wayland Inc. hadn't hired me, I would have been out of here.

Going up the elevator, I wondered if there was anyone else in the office besides Jace. It was only four o'clock and I didn't know if we were going to be the only ones left in the office. Silence was the only thing speaking in the scattered cubicles and the voice of my boss on the phone.

"Mom, I can't. I have work." Jace sounded frustrated and the closer I got to his door, I saw that it wasn't entirely shut.

"Mom, I can't come over this week." Pause. "Kaelie isn't my type and you know that I'll just write you a check to the Children's Cancer and Blood Foundation. I can't make it to the charity mom." He groaned when his mother kept on speaking. At this moment, his eyes made contact with mine and he stared at me, frozen and keeping his eyes entirely still.

"I have to go, love you." And then he hung up. It was the most empty "love you" I had ever heard. Even when my mom called, I had expressed my love towards her because no matter what, she had raised me and wanted the best for me.

"I was wondering if you needed anymore help in the office or if I can just leave like everyone else did." Cracking open the door wider, I saw that his desk was empty; no papers, no staplers, no pens. Either he had finished his work early or he really didn't have anything and lied about work. I knew my tone had become bitter and he knew that I saw his empty desk.

"I don't think you need help with anything Jace. Have a good night." I didn't even know what to think of him. None of his actions have made sense.

"Clary..." He began just as I went past the door to retrieve my bag from my tiny cubicle in the corner.

"Clary, I'm sorry." Even when he apologized, he strode out of his office like he was a God.

"I'm not sure what you're sorry for Mr. Wayland." I knew that was a low blow, but first names were for friends and clearly we weren't.

"Are we really doing this formal thing again?" Jace's jaw locked into place and he grit his teeth. He was using the tone he had used on Mr. Starkweather last week and it terrified me.

"We can't be friends because you don't want to be. I'm just here for my job." I knew I was being cold, but I was hurt over the fact that he ditched me in a restaurant.

"I never said I didn't want to be."

"Then please explain to me what work there was left to do because from what I've seen for these past three weeks is that you always have a pile of papers on your desk and today you had none except for when I dragged you out." Silence. There was no explanation. I sounded clingy and I scoffed at myself and began to walk towards the elevator doors. It surprised me that I wasn't fired by now; I was rude to him and bitter. I should have just sucked it up.

As the elevator doors opened, I felt familiar hands around my waist that rushed me into the contraption. The hands then slipped up onto both sides of my face and he kissed me feverishly. Jace was entirely sober and kissed me even harder than he did that night in the car. Somehow, I found my arms wrapped around his neck and I was kissing him back. When I lost breath, he continued to kiss me on the neck and trailed his lips to the part behind my ear that caused me to elicit a small pant.

"Jace." I breathed out and he stopped abruptly, hanging his face straight in front of mine.

"Do you have any idea how much trouble I'm in if anyone found out what I just did to you? God, I can't take it anymore because I need you so badly." He whispered into my ear all so passionately. I shook my head at his question and pulled his face closer to mine to kiss him once again.

"I swear to God I am so fired for this." I muttered into his mouth but he didn't stop kissing me. It crossed my mind that someone may come across us both, but even security had left and neither of us pushed a single button on the elevator yet.

"You're coming home with me." Jace said and gave me one last kiss on the lips before turning around and pressing the button to the main floor.

The moment the elevator dinged, Jace immediately stepped out and gestured for me to follow after him. Holy crap, I felt like I couldn't even walk after all that. The two of us went straight for the parkade in which we came across his silver sports car that had the darkest shade of tinted windows. The drive to his place was fast with the both of us panting heavily. Gazing downwards to the floor, I glanced sideways and saw the bulge that was prominent and straining against his dress pants.

Jace's house was gated and it was large. He chose to be smart and not live in a mansion that he rarely even attended to. Parking into his garage, he quickly undid his seatbelt as well as mine and pulled me into the curve of his body. It was strange how perfectly we fit together; how moulded against each other like clay.

"Let's get to bed." He breathed and took me by my hand, guiding me to his room.

His bed was king sized and had fluffed, white pillows all over. It looked unused and pristine.

"I usually fall asleep in the office and just come home to change." He told me and proceeded to take his suit jacket off.

"It's hot in here." I didn't know what I was saying anymore; only that there was my boss in front of me and that he wanted to give me the O I vied after for six months.

"Then let's strip." This time his face wasn't full of sexual frustration, it was a face that was playful. His smirk was out and so was the gleam in his eyes. Pulling the dress over my head, he saw the lingerie I had on and raised his eyebrows.

"Is that what you wear to work everyday?" He asked, using his thumb to trace over the curve of my breasts. Nodding at his question, he lowered his head and placed his lips at the curves and slipped one of the straps off to kiss my collarbones and shoulders. It was sensual in every way and I began to graze my hands around the bulge that strained against his pants. Pulling down the zipper, he slipped down his pants and stepped out of it.

Jace placed his hands around my hips and traced circles around my hip bones with his thumbs. Somehow we made our way to the bed when my back fell against a bed that was as soft as feathers.

Unbuttoning his shirt, we both knew that it was the last piece of clothing besides our underwear that would push us beyond the limits.

"Do you like me?" Was the last thing I said before he unclasped my bra and trailed his lips down and he tore away my panties with his teeth.

Holy shit. This is when everything went down, at least he went down on me anyways. I missed my O's a lot and Jace was the one who brought my O back. I seemed to lose full control of my mind and he did too.

The moment his boxer briefs came off, he stretched across to his drawer and pulled out a condom packet. In a flash, he slid it on and slid inside of me. Jace's lips were like velvet across my skin. Each time he thrust was a step closer to my O.

With my mind gone, so did all the control in my voice when I begged like a whore for more. He seemed to like that and went faster than ever. Even he began to pant when my moans became louder.

In between his pants and groans, he told me,

"To answer your earlier question, your body should be worshipped." With that, my body freed itself from all the build up and I got what I wanted for six months: a mind shattering orgasm. I knew the way my body arched and how Jace's hands were now at my waist. He continually kissed every part of me until his body stilled and the waves came over onto him.

It was then that he rolled off of me and slid us in the sheets of his blanket.

"I've never lost control before." He groaned into my neck while nipping at the skin.

"I'm getting fired aren't I?" I asked, this was it, I was going to be let go. I slept with my boss and Meliorn was one hundred percent on point when he called me a whore.

"God no, this was my fault." Jace said and had me face him, "But I don't want to let you go because of something I stupidly did; you did so much for the company." Regret was how he felt and hurt was how I felt. Even though I had received what I wanted for six months, I didn't want the other person to regret having sex with me. Stupid. That's how I felt.

"That came out wrong, didn't it?" He asked when my body became still and when I tensed as his arm wrapped around my waist.

"I should go." I said and slid out of the bed. As if sleeping with your boss wasn't bad enough, I should not be in his bed still spooning with him.

"I'll drive you." He immediately offered and sprung out of bed. Frankly, I did not want to see him right now and I did not want to see him tomorrow. The shame that came with not being good enough had a heavy burden on my heart.

"No, no, I'd rather walk. The sun's still out, I'll just find the closest subway. Bye Mr. Wayland." We weren't friends. We weren't lovers. We were boss and employee. I ran out of his bedroom the moment I had all my clothes on.

"Clary!" He tried to come after me but he didn't have his clothes on and I kept on running until I left his house.

The ride on the subway felt sullen. My hair was in a craze, I refused to put on my shoes, and my dress was half zipped. Everyone on the subway avoided me as much as they could because I was crying. It hurt to have someone regret you, it was the familiar feeling of not knowing who my father was and wondering if he regretted you too. It sucked.

_**The Deal**_

Truth. If someone could just tell me the truth for once rather than act on impulse and half truths. I know I hadn't told Jace anything about family that went into extensive detail, but I hadn't ever told anyone but Isabelle. Sitting in the bathtub, I tried to scrub away his touch and his kisses, but the hickies and the fingerprints were remnants of what had occurred.

I had stopped crying the moment that I turned on the bathtub, somehow, water had this strange effect to calm me down. It was just sex after all; just like how it was just a kiss. If he wouldn't fire me, then I needed to quit. This was bad and I'm pretty sure sleeping with your boss is illegal somewhere in the company by-laws.

After my bath, I heard the buzzer go.

"Hello, who is this?" I said through the buzzer and I heard heavy breathing.

"Clary, it's me. Will you please let me in?" Jace begged and I felt weak inside. The same kind of weak that pushed me to lose all sense of control.

It wasn't a surprise that he knew where I lived. There was probably a file big enough to tell him who I gave my first kiss to. Chances are, that he wasn't going to leave until I gave him one last hurrah or even let him explain his pointless reasons. I decided to not reply and not open the door. Hell, I'm off work so he can wait for next morning.

Then, it was as if a small little angel appeared on my right shoulder telling me, "He gave you the best sex of your life, better than pinky penis Sebastian." The angel was right and as the buzzer kept on going, I plugged in headphones and watched some Netflix on my laptop. If he was persistent up until 8, I'll let him in.

The moment I took my headphones off, the buzzing still continued. Honest to God, couldn't he have just left me alone and I would have left my resignation on the desk without question. I buzzed him into my apartment and began to hear jumping footsteps on the stairs. I could literally hear him skipping three steps at a time.

Cracking open my door just a bit, I saw him looking straight into my eyes.

"Can we please talk?" I couldn't say no so I just let him in and there was something about his aura that made me want to jump his bones again.

"I won't tell anyone and I'll quit if you want." I immediately said.

"I already told you that it was all my fault Clary. God, don't quit unless you really want to. I have _never _in my life slept with one of my employees and what we did went against my father's by-laws for me. My position could be compromised if the board were to find out." He explained with frustration gnawing at every word.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" Dumbfounded was a good word for what my face probably looked like right now.

"I'm saying that they have a right to take my position as CEO away from me because of what we just did." He stated and I shook my head.

"Oh my God." What if they find out? God, not only would I be black balled but I'd be shamed in every single state in the United States.

"So the deal is, you stay in the company and we both pretend like nothing ever happened. We both go back to our normal lives and have sex with other people." He said. As reasonable as the plan was, part of me felt hurt; part of me had really...liked him. Jace had given me what I yearned for in the six months and I had to get over it and search for someone else.

It took me a while to even nod my head and say one word,

"Deal." The moment I had said that one word, Jace's shoulders came to a slump and relaxed. This had been bugging him–the fact that he could get in trouble with the board of directors.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to go to bed right now. I'll see you at work tomorrow Mr. Wayland." I opened the door for him and he stumbled out slowly as if he didn't really want to leave. The slow steps that he took felt like infinity and the moment he completely left, I was able to scream. Deep down inside, I wished that we had met on different circumstances but I couldn't have feelings for him...he made that clear.

**Jace**

_**The Angel with a Shotgun**_

_Red. I seemed to have been in another bar fight this week. I didn't care what the board thought of me anymore; I was sure that I would lose this position. It was never worth it anyways and there was nothing I could do. It seemed ironic how the boy that was born everything has nothing. The blood that flowed out of my nose didn't even seem to matter. All that mattered was that I saw that crimson colour everywhere–the colour that reminded me of her hair. These women in scantily clad clothing seemed to all have red hair. I believe that I have had too much to drink and I am fantasizing something that I cannot change. _

_If I could go back in time and tell her that I love her, I know that I wouldn't even goddamn stutter. I hate the fact that my birthday wish had came true. I fell in love but who knew that I couldn't have that type of love. Had we met in a café or if she was an entrepreneur that made a deal with me, then maybe it would have been successful. Maybe we wouldn't be in this mess. _

_I know for a fact that losing all those materialistic things do not even measure up to the pain of losing her. It was now that I needed to conjure up a plan. I need to get her back no matter what. I'm tired of my lawyers fighting a fight that isn't worth it. Nothing is worth it if I don't have her back in my arms. _

_If only I had courage and none of this liquid confidence that was only temporary. The only reason why I had gotten into these bar fights was that I lost her and the lost the stars she had given me. I guess they were a sign that I would never get her back because I had treated her so badly. It's easy to remember that day where everything came crashing down, the last thing she had said before the elevator doors closed and security came, she mouthed the three words and eight letters that I couldn't say back. I love you._

_**The Deal **_

Jealousy. What an ugly, green monster and God it not suit me. I hated how he was hitting on her and she shamelessly flirted back. We had reverted back to Miss Morgenstern and Mr. Wayland and as much as I hated it, I knew we had to keep it at that otherwise I wouldn't know what I would do. How dare James Carstairs even attempt to ask her out? The thing that disappointed me the most was that she said yes, not even twenty-four hours after I fucked her brains out.

If there was one thing that I was, it would be manipulative. I walked over to her and told her she had to stay overtime tonight and therefore, she missed her date. The thing was, they rescheduled for tomorrow night and since she didn't work on Saturdays, I decided to keep James for tomorrow. This was not good, I didn't know why I was being such a controlling bastard. I had told her to go have sex with other men and now that she was trying, I wouldn't let her. I simply did not enjoy the fact that she moved on so quick. Of course though, she was beautiful, sexy, and smart; everything a man would look for.

The amount of people in the office began to fade as the three PM became 5 PM and then 9 PM and then 11. At this point, it was just her and me in the office. It was then that I heard a yawn from my office since I had instructed Clary to refile all my cabinets to all the current investors. Peeking in to my office, I saw her sitting cross legged on the floor with eyes drooping and the file dropping from her hands completely.

"Hey." I said and she quickly lit up.

"Hi Mr. Wayland." She immediately picked up the file that she had dropped right before I had entered the room.

"You can go home you know?"

"I haven't finished though…" She trailed off and another yawn came through along with tears that pricked at her eyes. She was exhausted.

"Go home, I can take care of it."

"I think you should go home too, come on." She stood up from the floor and stumbled on her heels a bit. Steadying her, I found my hands were around her waist and that her breath became more ragged.

I was an asshole. I kissed her again and she was kissing me back. I couldn't even stick to my own deal for a day and I couldn't let her fall into another man's arms that easily. Even in five inch stilettos, Clary still had to tiptoe and when she pulled me closer, I swear to God I died and went to heaven.

Clary was the first to pull away and when I took a step closer to her, her hand rested firmly on my chest to push me back.

"We can't do this." She said, as if I didn't know that already.

"I can't stop."

"Then fire me or something, we cannot see each other when I'm working with you." She suggested.

"I can't, you're such a great asset to the company and I'm not looking for a relationship right now." It seemed like such a dumb reason but it was true. Stocks were higher than ever, my office was organized, and my coffee was always here on time. Also, someone had finally made sense out of Imogen's notes.

When I said that I wasn't looking for a relationship, I swear, I saw her face fall a little. Quickly, I thought of something that would let me be with her and she would possibly be satisfied.

"How about just sex? No strings attached, no feelings. It's just you and me; we don't see other people, we don't have sex with other people, and we don't date other people until both of us want out." Uncertainty was written all across her face when I said this. Clary was having an internal struggle with her mind and her heart.

Truthfully, I knew what they said about these casual sex relationships; that it never worked out and feelings always got involved. We would be different though and it would be easy. My body craved her, I'm just not sure if my heart did too and I would rather not get involved with those emotions at this stellar point in my career. As stupid as my birthday wish was, it would never come true...not at this point anyways.

Pulling me away from my daze, Clary had removed her hand from my chest and wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing me. It was a yes and boy, was I ecstatic. One thing had led to another and the next thing I knew, we were both on the floor with clothes flying all over the place. I hadn't had sex that great since her. I hadn't had someone take me in and clench around me this tightly. Above all, I hadn't had someone worship my body in the same way I worshipped hers in long time. In addition to that, Clarissa Morgenstern had given me a blowjob in the office and there wasn't much else that I could ask for.

All of this; what we were doing. It was so wrong on so many levels and not to mention that both of us could lose our jobs and get shamed for it, but I didn't care, she felt great against me and I felt great having me in her mouth. After all of this, we had both gone home and I finally slept in the bed that still had her scent from yesterday.

* * *

That morning, when I came into my office, there was only happy smiles towards everyone. It was ridiculous what amazing sex could do to a man. As I sat in my chair, I saw something yellow on my desk.

Panties. Bright canary yellow, the same ones from yesterday night and the piece of evidence that assured me that it wasn't a dream. Tucking them into my dress pants pockets, I smirked to myself knowing that I had her and that was all that mattered. The board wouldn't find out if no one else knew. I knew what I needed to do today: finish signing and reading all these papers, dismiss everyone, and go to her apartment with a bottle of red wine and ravage her.

A knock came to my door and I saw that it was James. How could I have forgotten about him? Right, you had an amazing girl in your office last night that not only was willing to swallow but continue to have sex until both of you guys tired out.

"Mr. Wayland, I have more papers for you to sign." James said confidently and handed me a new stack of papers. He then had the gall to ask, "Is it all right if I get off a bit early to take Clary out?"

If only he knew that she was off limits and couldn't see anyone but me.

"I'm sorry James, you have a lot of work to finish here today, in fact, you might have to work a bit overtime." Asshole. Asshole. Asshole. I could hear that mantra over and over in his head right now but on the inside, I was grinning widely.

"All right Mr. Wayland, have a good day." He said tensely and walked out of my office.

Dialling the number to Clary's house, she immediately picked up on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi."

"Oh hey, what's up Jace?" We were back to first name basis and thank God for that. Closing my door shut, I whispered into the phone,

"You naughty girl, you left your panties on my desk like a fucking peace offering in which I totally accept."

She laughed at this, but in my mind, I envisioned her blushing red and getting more turned on by the second.

"Jace, is this why you called?"

"Not exactly...cancel your date with James tonight." I commanded and I heard her breath hitch over the phone.

"How did you know about that?"

"Eyes and ears and the fact that he came in just now to ask if he can leave early to take you out. Lucky day for you, I said no."

"Jace..." This wasn't a good tone, it sounded more like she was about to lecture me.

"Clary, I thought we agreed last night that we don't see anyone." I hissed into the phone and heard a sigh on the other line.

"I didn't say anything."

"Your actions meant otherwise." I retaliated. "So you want to see him tonight?"

"I don't know."

How could she do this? How is that even fair?

"Jace, we need to talk about this tonight. Face to face."

"Before or after your date?" It came out all too venomously and before I knew it, she had hung up. I didn't know if she still wanted to see me, clearly she was angry and so was I. I didn't understand patience and I never will but I have never had someone full on out hang up on me. This was fighting fire with fire and the loser gets burned.

As the day dragged on, James gave me dirty looks from afar as much as he could before I looked up and he returned back to his work. This went on for the rest of the day until the clock hit 9 and I dismissed everyone. For all I care, she could go on this stupid date with him; it's not like she even texted or called me back.

"James." I called out from my office as he began to open the glass doors to leave, "Enjoy your date." Even at this, he didn't smile and he shook his head.

"Got no date; she cancelled. Just me, myself, and a beer." He smiled sadly and waved a good night, leaving the building completely. It pleased me to how she had actually listened to me and cancelled the date, what I dreaded was the fact that I had to repeat last night's performance and buzz her door like crazy again.

When I reached her apartment, I saw that her roommate Isabelle had the key and I yelled her name.

"Oh hey! Jace, right?"

"Yeah, Clary in there?" When she nodded, I felt the corners of my lips pull up into a smirk.

"Answer me honestly, are you two sleeping together or what?" She asked all too bluntly and all too publicly. I knew I couldn't say anything to her; I couldn't trust her.

"We're not. That's unprofessional and not to mention highly inappropriate." I lied, "There's actually something I'd like to discuss with her about her job and traveling." Now that part wasn't a lie; there was an all expense paid trip to Paris by the company to stretch our services internationally. I wanted to her to come with me of course, but this was a good excuse to get in.

"Oh, I'm sorry then, do you need to come in?" Almost immediately after I nodded, she turned the key and motioned me to come inside and walk the stairs with her.

"So, why can't you talk to her at work?"

"We leave on Wednesday and I'd like to get her passports and luggage sorted out as well as to make sure she isn't going to have anything come up." I explained. God, I was strangely getting better at this lying thing. It surprised me to see how I didn't even stutter or shake anymore when I lied.

"That sounds fun...where are you guys going?" She asked as we reached the door to the apartment.

"Paris." In the process of turning her key, Isabelle's eyes bulged out and her hand stopped.

"Paris?"

"Paris." Sensing a heart attack about to come, I turned the key for her the moment she decided to hurt my eardrums.

"CLARISSA ADELE MORGENSTERN, GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE RIGHT NOW. OH MY GOD." Isabelle's reaction would have been amusing if I didn't hear the ringing in my ears.

"What?!" Clary yelled back and emerged standing only wrapped in a towel. I saw the hands go tighter around her towel when she saw me as well as a glare fall into place.

"Paris. Jace. Go." Was all Isabelle could utter out before going into her room, slamming the door, and screaming. I could tell that she was suppressing her screams with a pillow. God, that girl was crazy about Paris.

"What are you doing here? And what about Paris?" Clary questioned me, crossing her arms. When she wasn't wearing heels, she was shorter than ever.

"You said we needed to talk and we'll talk about Paris later, but as much as I enjoy this view right now, you need to get changed and we need to talk somewhere more private."

"I don't think I want to be private with you anymore Jace." She stated and it was as if she had stabbed me in the gut. It hurt.

"I know you cancelled the date." Was all I could say before she shut her eyes in frustration.

"You do understand that I cannot just sleep with you."

"Are you that type of person that needs labels and relationships in order to have sex?" Because I can't do that, but even though I want to do that with you, I really can't.

"No, God no. You're my boss. You will get in trouble, and I will get trouble."

"Since when did anyone have to know?" Hell, who would we tell? I hadn't even told her roommate.

Thoughts were flashing before her eyes a hundred kilometres per second and she left the room. Clary had left me standing here looking like an idiot and when she came back, she was fully dressed, and tugging me out the door. The door clicked and she pinned me against a wall, fiercely kissing my neck.

"So, I'm guessing you're finally agreeing to deal?" I breathed out and she hummed against my neck.

"Say yes." I told her and the moment she said it, I was done for.

"You can't fuck other women, you can't date other women, you can't see them, and you have me for as long as this can last. Got it?" She verified and pressed her lips onto mine.

"And no one finds out." I breathed and she nods. For those moments, everything was good. If Isabelle wasn't in her apartment, I swear, I would have taken her in her bed and even let her be on top.

"What's this about Paris?" She asked the moment we both decided to stop.

"Wednesday, I'll send you your travel itinerary and a list of things to bring. Business deals in Paris, it could be big or it can blow up in our face, either way, you're coming."

"Paris?" Oh God, this was going to be like Isabelle all over again.

"Paris." I nodded, but instead of screaming, she kissed me one more time and entered her apartment.

"Good night Jace." She smiled before closing the door completely.

Curse Isabelle Lightwood for cock blocking me and bless her for leaving us alone to talk. These nights, I seemed to be going home to my bed more and more; I was becoming less stressed and less work oriented. It felt nice and it felt even better to see Clary tomorrow and spend three days and two nights with her in Paris. Everything was great right now and nothing could make me feel less than joyful.

* * *

Author's Note: This was a monster to write and it took me awhile to open on Google docs. If anyone would like to be a beta, just message me. I really just need someone to fix grammar mistakes or catch the wrong words that I wrote; it'd be really helpful. Things are getting really busy so there probably won't be an update until July or so.

Clary's scenes:

Don't Stop Believing by Journey

The Great Collapse by The Zolas

Jace's scenes:

Angel with a Shotgun by The Cab

My Heroine by The Maine

Hope you enjoyed this chapter and please shoot a review!

-Ry


	4. Chapter 4: The Blur of the Stars

**Clary **

_**The City of Orphans **_

_Ashes. When a person dies, you either place this oil on them that preserves their body for a while and keep the smells away, or you get cremated and you turn back into dust just as God had intended. How great would it be to be turned back to dust? It's a beautiful concept really...you don't have to hurt anymore. _

_Just as these thoughts were about to make me vault myself off my window, the buzzer rang and rang. Something compelled me to go answer it and another thing told me to just die and get it over with. It was the most selfish thing I could do; die I mean. It wasn't fair to Isabelle or my mom or him if he still cared. _

_"Hi, who is this?" I asked into the buzzer._

_"It's Lucien Garroway, Luke for short. You met me when you were fifteen and I met you again in the charity gala with Jace." Somehow, hearing his name made my heart hurt more as if every time someone mentioned those four letters that rhymed with delicate lace, it was another slow jab to the heart. _

_Buzzing him in, the prim footsteps that I heard lined the building to a more formal stance. I left the door wide open for him and went to the cabinet for a bottle of rum. I decided to be Captain Jack Sparrow for a day and not care what they say to me. When he came in, I had already downed half the bottle and began to feel my brain buzz. _

_"Clarissa." Was his greeting and I drunkenly offered my bottle of rum to him in which he graciously set down on the table._

_"Mr. Garroway, to what do I owe you today?" _

_"I want to help you." _

_"And why's that? So you can go back to my mother's bed? Well guess what, her bed is already open so you don't have to do anything for me." _

_"It's not that, your mother and I are very happy together."_

_"Well congratulations." I said sardonically, this was the greatest way to rub love in my face. Happiness and love go hand in hand don't they?_

_"I'm here to offer you a job–"_

_I cut him off,_

_"I'm black balled. No one will hire me."_

_"It's in Chicago and it has absolutely no ties with Jace's company. I want you to build it from bottom to top, everything you say goes. From what I've seen with what you did with Jace's company, you are absolutely capable of doing anything and everything. One mistake does not define you Clarissa." If it's one thing I got from this, it wasn't the fact that I had a job again, but for the first time, I felt the love of a father that I never had. _

_"I'll take it." I said and looked to the floor. Anything to get away from New York. _

_"You know how CEO works, now do it and pick yourself up. I expect you meeting me next week at the airport. I know your heart is breaking, but if he loves you, he'll come back no matter how stubborn he is." _

_"How would you know that?" _

_"Your mother came back to me." He smiled as he reminisced at a memory. _

_"Luke..."_

_"Yes?"_

_"Is it okay if I call you dad?" _

_"It's always been okay Clary...you have no idea." He said Clary this time and not Clarissa, there was a secret that my mother kept from me all my life and I was almost one hundred percent sure that I figured it out. _

_**The Wall**_

Walls. Pink Floyd had written about a teacher being another useless brick in the wall and the entire album in itself had earned every person who worked on that record a few million dollars. Jace held me up against the wall of his house and was inside me, kissing my breasts while quickly going in and out. If I were to write a song about this wall, hell, it wouldn't be a song; only a series of moans, whimpers, and gasps.

"Wrap your legs around me tighter." Jace instructed and when I did, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he bit down on his bottom lip trying to keep a groan from escaping.

"It...feels...great." I managed to say as he began to slow down his thrusts. Heavy breaths filled the room as we began to ride out our waves of pleasure. Our bodies slumped together against the wall and Jace began to suckle against my neck.

"If only we had the plane to ourselves." He murmured. We were leaving for Paris today and I had dropped by Jace's before the departure when he had texted me, _Need you, it's an emergency. _It turned out his emergency was his need to be inside of me.

All the executives were going to be on the plane with us, flying first class and drinking wine. Jace had contemplated taking his private jet for just him and me, but that would have blown our cover completely. Not to mention the fact that one of the board directors was coming along with us. Paris needed to be a success, otherwise Hodge would degrade Jace even further for his supposed lack of leadership.

"I wish." Ever since this deal had began, I was invited into his office more often and he had to come out angry to pretend that he was mad at me. People wondered why I hadn't been fired yet for pissing Jace off so much, but the less they know, the better.

"Let's go." Jace pulled away and handed me my clothes. He seemed disappointed that we had to leave so soon, but I didn't want to take chances about his feelings. What I had learned recently with Jace Wayland was that he didn't do emotions and I was a prime example of that. I felt that all these fireworks and sparks when we kissed. Maybe that was dangerous and maybe those sparks were temporary.

Dragging our luggages behind us, the two of us made our way out the door and drove to the airport. In the car, Jace was playing Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite while I slept for the ride to JFK. Truthfully, I would rather sleep now than on a plane where no matter what class you fly, there are always annoying people.

_"I love you Clary, will you be my wife?" That was the first thing that was said to me when I began to dream. I felt shaking suddenly and I began to cry. I felt myself crying. _

_"Clary?" The same voice repeated until..._

"Clary!" Someone was shaking my shoulders and I woke up. Eyes fluttering open and I saw Jace.

"Are you okay? You're crying." He pointed out to my damp cheeks.

"Yeah I'm fine. It was just a bad dream." I shook it off and looked out to see JFK. It was only a bad dream because it would never come true; no one could ever love me because I'm incapable of being anyone's perfect image of love.

Getting out of the car, I got my things from the trunk, rolling it away from Jace's car. I didn't look back to hear what he said or what he looked like, I just had to get away. When I got into the security clearance, I found that Jace was already beside me, staring at me intently.

"I'm okay." I tried to reassure him but he shook his head.

"Tell me what the dream what about." He said this as a command rather than a request or a question.

"What happened to no feelings Jace? If I tell you, then there's feelings involved." I swayed away from him and entered the contraption scanner for security.

"Well if I tied you up and spanked you or whipped you, then yes, there's always going to be feelings whether it's the feeling of you being safe or hurt. Tell me." He leaned in close near my ear, making sure that no one was looking or had cameras.

"Do you want to tie me up or spank me?" I whispered back seductively and he dragged me off into a corner and kissed my neck.

"You see that mark? You're mine." He grazed his thumb over the hickey he had created and leaned in once again to kiss me on the lips.

"Not here." I was out of breath with my heart pounding out of my chest. I was lucky to have him completely forget about what had occurred in the car. Quickly, I pulled a scarf out of my carry on purse and wrapped it around my neck. I was lucky to have it since planes got cold at night.

"Flight to Paris leaving in twenty minutes, passengers, please make your way onto the plane. Thank you." The lady said over the intercom and we walked out of the corner like teenagers in the janitor's closet. Jace and I were classy like that.

As we boarded onto the plane, I saw that the executives weren't there and neither was anyone else from the company.

"Surprise." Jace said smugly and placed his hand onto the small of my back, wavering me to my seat.

"What?" I was still in shock, where was everyone?

"If you're wondering, they're already in Paris. The only person coming along with us is the man on the board of directors. Valentine Morgenstern." Jace explained and at that moment a man with silver hair and a hard face patted Jace on the back.

"Good day Mr. Wayland!" He said cheerfully. For a man that didn't look cheerful at all, his words were ironic and emotionless.

"Good day, Mr. Morgenstern." Jace shook his hand firmly and introduced him to me as his personal assistant. If I were to be cocky, Jace added on that I was one of the most intelligent people in the office.

"Great to meet you Miss Morgenstern, nice to know that we share the common morning star as our family names. Well, I'm off to my seat now, it's going to be a long flight. Better get some rest." With that, Valentine Morgenstern left to his seat furthest to the front while Jace and I were in the back all to ourselves.

Every time I came across a person with the same last name as mine, I would think that I was related to them in some way or another. It made me upset most of the time when I did meet those people because I would never know who my father would me. Even when I asked my mother about each man with the same last name, she only shook her head at me and said she had to go to work.

Going to our seats, Jace's hand rested on my back and urged me to sit down.

"You do understand that you being a little vixen does not change the fact that I still want to know what happened in your dream." Jace said in a low voice so that the passengers in front of us would not hear.

"Fine, I dreamed that I was falling off the Eiffel Tower and no one was there to catch me. I have a fear of falling." I said it completely nonchalantly and I knew that he knew I was lying, but there was nothing he could do to get this out of me.

"Really?"

"Really." I like to think that I was a great liar but Jace only scoffed and shook his head. No feelings, I had to keep telling myself that and feelings meant that I had to spill my lifetime full of secrets.

"Wake me up when the plane lands." He said bitterly and closed his eyes, resting against his neck pillow.

"Anything for you boss." I muttered and put in my headphones, shutting everything out from crying babies to the tapping of laptops. We weren't even in Paris yet and I was already fed up with Paris.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am your flight attendant today, my name is Sophie please fasten your seatbelts and Gideon over in the back will show you the procedure for the emergency oxygen system." The lady over the intercom said and gestured over to the man in the back. They were in love and anyone could tell just by the way they looked at one another. If it wasn't obvious enough when he pinched her butt when they passed, then I didn't know what was. They were constantly smiling at each other and it was sickening. If I were an asshole, I would report them for inappropriate behaviour but no one else on the airplane seemed to even care. Of course, they were all in love or had people that loved them deeply.

Jace still looked deadly beautiful when he slept and when I fastened his seatbelt for him, his hand caught me by the wrist and held onto it for awhile until his own hand grew limp. It was strange; it had too many feelings attached. Times like this, I wished that I was still screwing Sebastian...there weren't sparks with him...just an orgasm and then we would leave it at that. It was different with Jace, even though we weren't in a relationship, it felt like it. Even after I come, Jace would always continue to kiss me, nip me at the neck, or go for a second round.

The plane began to rise up into the air and I felt my ears pop a little while Jace still looked dead asleep, unaffected by any of this. Pulling out a small sketch pad and a pencil, I began to draw him. It may seem creepy or whatever, but there was nothing else worth drawing on this plane; not even the figment of my imagination could overcome the chiseled face of Jace. He had a strong Roman nose and a sharp Cupid's bow and thin lips. Two hours passed and I began to shade while every single passenger on the plane was asleep or still tapping on their laptops. Another hour passed and I signed my name on the bottom of the paper while a voice startled me.

"Miss, would you like a drink?" Sophie stopped the food and beverage cart at our seat and gestured to the foods and drinks on it.

"Cranberry juice if you have any."

"And what about your boyfriend?" She asked while pouring me the dark crimson liquid in a plastic cup.

"He's not my boyfriend." I said and she turned red while handing me my cup.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I think he'll just have a water."

She poured him a glass of water and proceeded rolling the cart back to the front of the plane.

"Why'd you tell her that?" His voice shook me a bit, he sounded tired and groggy but he heard everything that Sophie and I were saying.

"Tell her what?"

"That we're not dating."

"We're not."

"There's this creep that's been eying you the moment we boarded this plane and now he knows you're single. But you know what I love about this deal?" Jace drawled out almost mockingly.

"What do you love?"

"You can't date anyone while you're with me." He had the audacity to smirk and I wanted to slap him for saying that. It made me remember to that first time we had sex and I asked him if he liked me, all he had said to me was that he adored my body. Above all things that Jace could do, he was the worst with words.

"I don't even know what to say to you." I was shaking my head in disgust. Even when he was being an asshole, he remained himself in a way: intimidating, attractive, and confident.

"Then don't say anything at all." He smirked even wider now when he kissed me slowly. It was as if I lost the will to control my body when I responded by putting my hand on his jaw to pull him closer. In the spur of losing myself completely to him, he stopped and his smirk was dropped entirely.

"Why are you crying?" He asked, scrunching his eyebrows. I hadn't even realized that I was because in all honesty, I didn't know.

"I don't know." Was all I could manage to say. For the first time, I saw sympathy in Jace's eyes and it disgusted me. Sympathy has always disgusted me in some way; I didn't enjoy people pitying me or making me feel below them.

"I don't understand why you never tell me anything." He stated, not looking into my eyes but rather he looked straight ahead.

"I can't tell people things that I myself don't understand...especially when they don't want a relationship to happen." I said monotone.

"You think I don't want to be with you?" Jace asked in a small voice.

"I know I don't want to be with you." Because I don't deserve you even though I do want to be with you, "And I know that we can't. It's just sex isn't it?"

"No emotions right?" He said sternly, swallowing and looking at me directly now.

"Right." I confirmed and Jace got up from his seat.

"I'm going to the bathroom." I contemplated following him and explaining myself but there was nothing to explain especially when Valentine Morgenstern was in the front. Jace gave a quick wave to him and entered the cramped stall.

If there was one thing Jace and I had in common, it would be the fact that both of us sucked with our choice of words and we were great at creating brick walls to barricade us from anyone that made us feel...except he has made me feel more than anyone ever has…

_**The Blur of the Stars**_

Silence. Jace and I didn't speak for the rest of the plane ride and I put away the sketch of him before he came back. When we reached the hotel, the two of us parted into our separate rooms and continued to ignore one another. There was going to be a meeting tomorrow with all these French businessmen. Of all places to expand Wayland Inc., it was France. We could have done a simpler place like Mexico, but Jace mentioned in the itinerary that the purpose was to create an international line beyond North America. In my opinion, it was stupid, but I would never tell Jace that.

Stripping down into my underwear, I flopped onto the bed and didn't even bother to unpack. I needed sleep and jet lag was going to be a huge problem tomorrow. When I began to drift into sleep, I felt soft lips on my forehead and then heard the door click once again. It was a dream, or reality...I'm not sure. I just need sleep.

* * *

The next morning, I still felt exhausted and my entire body felt like goo. I got dressed and made my way downstairs for breakfast in the hotel restaurant. It urked me how the hotel was called L'hôtel du mort; the hotel of death. Otherwise, the hotel lived up to its five star quality.

When I reached the restaurant, I found Jace already sitting on a table typing away on his laptop with an uneaten pain du chocolat and a black coffee. He didn't even seem affected by the jet lag besides the dark crescent moons under his eyes. It seemed that he didn't sleep at all last night but was working like a robot as if this was a typical day.

"Good morning." He said without even looking up. Did he secretly have another set of eyes on his forehead or something?

"Morning."

"Good sleep?" He asked this as if nothing had happened yesterday.

"It was all right; could have been better." This was awkward, he didn't even look at me. Usually he'd look at me while he typed but this time he didn't. It bugged me; the small things that he would typically do and now he didn't. I was hungry and tired, so I pulled up a seat far away from him and looked at the menu.

Skimming each page, I found that they served croissants as cliché as it was. I ordered four croissants and I stuffed myself like a pig, not caring if anyone was looking. It was then that a man sat down in front of me...Gabriel Lightwood...the guy I lost my virginity to in high school.

"You haven't changed at all." He laughed and I chewed slower giving him an incredulous look.

"What the hell are you doing in Paris?" I said with a smile after snapping out of my shock.

"I could ask you the same thing Clary." He was amused with the two other croissants on my plate. "If there's one thing that changed about you is God! Puberty did you well; you got _hot._"

"I'm so sorry if I wasn't hot in high school Gabriel." I laughed it off, Gabriel had always been blunt with his words. At least they were honest and didn't hold any type of mystery behind it.

"But seriously, I'm here for vacation and I'd like to see you again when we're both back in New York." He was an asshole...always had been but it seemed that I had a thing for assholes.

"I'm seeing someone." I looked up to see Jace finally looking at me, he was shooting death glares at the back of Gabriel's head and Gabriel was completely oblivious to it.

"Well that sucks Clary, if you guys ever break up, hit me up right here." He slid me his business card, kissed me on the side of my cheek, and left the restaurant. I looked over to see Jace whose hands were now away from his laptop and his knuckles turned white from his clenched fists.

An idiot could see that he was angry and about to punch a wall. If looks could kill, every person in this restaurant would be dead right now. I continued to eat my croissants quickly with the coffee that was served and paid. There was nothing I could do to relieve Jace of his anger besides angry, rough sex. I was too tired for that and walked back to my room to get changed for the meeting in the one of the conference rooms.

While I was changing, I heard my door open and I saw Jace with arms crossed.

"Who the fuck was that?" If there was one word to describe Jace, it would either be passionate, possessive, or provocative.

"An old friend from high school. Jace, please get out I'm not in the mood for this." I didn't want to put up with this shit right now and Jace was making it very hard not to yell at him especially with him being my boss.

"Did you fuck him the way you did with me?" He spat out, not moving from where he was.

"No." God, this was going down hill.

"You're lying." He was just accusing me now, I lost my virginity to Gabriel and never saw him again afterwards since he went to screw another girl. Plus, I was a fidgeting virgin that did not know what to do let alone fuck a man the right way like I did with Jace. I'm pretty sure that if I told Jace that, he would go track down Gabriel and beat him up.

"I'm not. Why are you so mad? I told him I was already seeing someone." I tried to stay calm, that is until he said the next few words.

"Because you're mine and I thought I made it pretty clear that you won't go whoring around like a prostitute."

Slap. Push. Disgust. That hit close to home and Jace went too far.

"I'm not a whore, if you think I'm a whore then how about we end this? I want out Jace, I want you to get out and I don't ever want to see you again." I was crying at this point. This was exactly the reason why I didn't want friends in school because they would make fun of prostitutes or escorts especially since my mom was one. If this was me calling quits on Wayland Inc., then I'm glad that I didn't unpack my suitcase last night.

His face softened a whole lot more...it wasn't angry; it turned into an expression of regret. When he reached out to touch me, I slapped him again.

"Get out." He slowly backed away out of my room and I was left to cry and cry. My mother's job had always been the object of shame in my life. I wished we lived in a bigger apartment, or had money to buy new clothes, or she could take me to places that every other kid's parent took them. I wanted to go to Coney Island and ride the ferris wheel and watch street acts, but I couldn't. Whore–that word has been following me for the majority of my life and it hurt every time someone said it no matter who it was directed to and it hurt especially when Jace had said it.

I don't know how much longer I stayed in my room half dressed and crying on my bed in a fetal position. My heart felt unsteady and I didn't want to take notes at the meeting. The words I said to him were harsh and no matter how much I didn't want to see him, I had to. One, I needed the money and two, a part of me needed him in order to breathe properly.

Swallowing up courage, I walked to the bathroom and took a quick cold shower to cool down my hot face. I dressed, grabbed my binder, and made my way down to the conference room. When I walked in, Jace was at the other end of the table with a loose tie and disheveled hair. No other person was in the room yet and I felt unsafe.

When I began to back out of the room, he called my name.

"Clary, I'm sorry. I mean it." He apologized and began to walk towards me.

"I was jealous okay?" He admit with a humourless smile and a scoff. "As much as I don't want to feel for you, I do and very strongly. I was jealous; I was jealous on the plane, I was jealous of James, I was jealous of that guy you met in Taki's, and God, I was fucking jealous of your friend. And I'm sorry for comparing you to a whore because you're not; you're a beautiful woman and I have an ugly heart so I'm sorry."

I didn't know whether to stay in shock or to accept his apology. Jealousy was an ugly, disgusting monster and I wished that Jace hadn't felt that way about any of those people...they hadn't measured up to him anyways until he said those words.

"How about let's not talk about this and do our jobs?" I suggested and opened my binder.

"Okay." He sounded like he was defeated, but I needed time to forgive and I wasn't ready for that.

Flipping through the pages, I saw Gabriel's name on the list of potential French investors. Bastard. Told me he was on vacation. Isabelle and Gabriel were of French descent so clearly, it now made sense to why he was here. I felt a war that was about to brew when and if Gabriel walks through that door. This was going to be a blood bath.

Luck seemed to be on my side when people began to flood in and Gabriel didn't show up. I sat down in a corner beside Hodge who seemed to have the same stoic expression on his face that held resentment for Jace. Five minutes into the meeting of introductions, Gabriel Lightwood burst through the doors and everyone turned to look at who was rude enough to do this. Looking to Jace, I saw his eyebrows knit together to form a face of confusion which immediately turned to anger. Oh God.

"Who are you?" He asked from the head of the table, glare set in place.

"Gabriel Lightwood, I'll be the man signing papers today since I'll be representing my father Benedict who's out today due to a bad case of pox. Bonjour, je m'appelle Gabriel Lightwood, je suis désolé que je suis en retard. Mon père est malade alors je vais signer les papiers aujourd'hui. D'accord, nous pouvons commencer." Unprofessional was the impression everyone got from him, but the moment he apologized in French, the mood seemed lighten and the discussion continued.

"Wayland Inc. is a company that believes fully that customers should be happy with their service wherever they are, we would like to broaden this service to France. I am very grateful for you to all come here today and meet with us; it truly is an honour." Before Jace could even say this in the French translation, Gabriel decided to be the ultimate douchebag and interrupt him.

"If you could hurry this along without the formalities, that would be much appreciated." The look Jace sent over to him was almost murderous, but for a person that didn't know him, it only showed that he would be more than happy to. Masks, masks, masks, Jace Wayland had several of those and used them more than he used my emotions; I guess you could say the same for me as well.

They continued and the meeting went on for another two hours with the constant French and English mingling in through the air. Gabriel was the puppet master and he was screwing with Jace, I could tell when he had this glint in his eyes that looked for trouble. The meeting could have easily went on for only one hour but Gabriel kept dragging it on until the simple okay came out from his mouth. He had a smug smile on his face when that one word flew into the air and all heads turned to look at him in relief. Not only was he fucking with Jace's mind, but he did so with everyone else and we were tired of being in this room.

Signing the papers swiftly, Gabriel didn't even read them over. With Jace taking another sip of his coffee, he looked directly at me and mouthed, "Are you happy?" I only shrugged my shoulders and gave him an incredulous look. This was not the time to discuss our private lives.

"Monsieur Wayland, c'est un plaisir. It was a pleasure to meet you, I have to run along back to New York now. Tell your assistant I'll see her back there." Gabriel drawled out and strode out of the room leaving the Parisians to cuss in their native tongue. Clearly, Gabriel Lightwood did not leave a good impression on anyone in the room and it made me question to how I ever let that asshole take my virginity.

A chorus of sighs and the shutting of briefcases rang out through the room until everyone cleared out and it was just him and me again.

"Clary…" He said almost desperately to me as I tried to exit the room.

"Yes, Mr. Wayland?" It seemed that every time I was cross with him, I'd use the formalities and he knew it. He shut his eyes tightly in frustration and shook his head.

"Never mind, you may leave. Enjoy the city and its sights." He turned around and began packing his things and I left. The funny thing is, I didn't expect it from him to give up so easily…it felt like a guttural punch when he dismissed me.

Baise-moi, is what the French say for "fuck me" and I wish that Jace did that in the conference room or even followed me to my own room to do so. We'd kiss, fuck, and make up and pretend that none of that stuff happened in the morning. Too bad that I was stubborn and so was he.

I had promised Isabelle that I would get her something from here; whether it was a trinket from a small boutique or simply a pound of coffee from an authentic French café. This is what led me to stroll the city on my own, trying to see every single one of its sights before the Skype meeting with the board of directors tomorrow that would last approximately three hours before our flight back. Today was a success for the company and who knows what tomorrow would be like…for all I know…I may as well be gone after tomorrow.

Standing in front of the Eiffel Tower, I always thought that I'd be here with friends or a lover; not on my own. I promised myself that I wouldn't climb it until I came with someone and take a thousand pictures. It was the one place in Paris that I walked past by after a few minutes, pretending that I never had even seen the spectacular beauty of the structure.

Continuing my stroll, I saw Jace leaning over over the Pont de l'Archevêché smoking a cigarette and grazing a love lock that hung on the bridge with another hand. It was one of the last locks on the bridge. The city had taken a lot of them down due to the partial collapse of the parapet. He tapped the stick of his cigarette on the edge of the bridge and ashes flew around in the air. This was one of the first times that I saw him without a suit or a dress shirt or dress pants; he had a grey beanie on along with a white shirt, a black leather jacket, and dark washed jeans.

"Hi." I stood beside him and stared into the same view that he was looking at.

"Hi." He mimicked the same tone I had and continued to stare out into the Seine, clenching the love lock even tighter in his other hand.

"Smoking is really bad for you." I stated in which he let out a puff at the same time.

"I know, my dad died from lung cancer because he smoked. Bad habits die hard don't they?"

"So, I've been having sex with a tobacco addict who is likely to display signs of lung cancer anytime." I tried to joke and he glanced over at me with the same indifference on his face before I left the conference room.

"This is my second time smoking." He released the love lock abruptly and tapped out the embers and ashes of the remaining cigarette, dropping it on the ground.

"What was the first?"

"When I took over the company. These things are just temporary stress relievers just like sex is, just like alcohol is, just like music is." Looking over to the lock, I saw his initials written on with black Sharpie along with mine. It was a new lock.

J.W. + C.M.

I decided to say nothing about the lock and kept quiet until he asked,

"Will you ever forgive me?"

There was hurt in his voice; longing and passion combined.

"I think I already did."

"You know, my initial idea of Paris was to spend it with you without any screw ups besides us screwing."

"Jace…I already forgave you." I said tired and it wasn't even nightfall yet.

"Will you see the city with me? I don't want to be alone." He asked and I nodded. If only we hadn't fought and hadn't exchanged those words, then we'd be seeing the Eiffel Tower together and I'd be content. Truth was, I didn't want to see the city alone either; it was too beautiful to be spent independently.

Somewhere in between walking past the bridge and entering a café, our hands had met and he held it until I let go. It was difficult to not keep the feelings when they ran quicker than the blood in my veins. Jace ordered for me in perfect French and we ate lunch together, talking about life in general. Somehow, we got onto the topic of Gabriel and he promised not to get angry.

"He was the one that took my virginity." I said this almost nonchalantly and I felt Jace tense but he didn't say anything.

"Was it good?" This was freaking awkward and I swore that I saw Jace's eye twitch when he asked that.

"It was all right; shabby hotel and teenagers on prom night." I laughed at this memory of the idiot groaning dramatically, "Not as good as you and your king sized bed though."

The last statement seemed to lighten the tension on Jace's face and body when he took a sip of his coffee, I saw a glimpse of a smile shine through.

"So what else do you want to see?" He asked, changing the topic.

"Mmm…" I wanted to walk down Champs-Elysées and see the Louvre, but the words Eiffel Tower came tumbling out of my mouth. Paying for our food, Jace tugged me out and we took a cab to the Eiffel Tower since he didn't want to walk. When we got there, we were already walking up the stairs to the tallest part.

"Can we stay here until the stars come out?" I asked and Jace smirked.

"Yeah, if you want to starve." He joked and a dimple appeared on his cheek. Suddenly, he looked more playful and younger. I found my hands grazing the outline of his face and that was when he kissed me. It was slow this time, but the passion was not different from any of the other times that he had kissed me. This was patient and loving and when we broke away, he didn't apologize, only beginning his walk back down.

"Where are you going?" I was angry, he couldn't have just kissed me like that and left me standing.

"I shouldn't have done it; you don't want this type of relationship." He stated, shaking his head and not looking at me.

He stopped when I asked,

"Did I kiss you back?"

"Yes." Was his one word answer, but he still wouldn't look at me.

"Then I want it. I want you." It was those words that drove us both to keep walking down together with our hands interlocked. All those things: hand holding, kissing, sex, compliment and etcetera, it didn't mean anything in the deal no matter how much it meant to me.

"We'll come back here at night after dinner. For now, we'll visit every place we can and enjoy French delicacies. Sound like a plan?" He said, holding me close to his side. We probably looked like the ideal couple which is why when we heard a click and saw a flash coming out of a Polaroid, Jace immediately walked over to the teenage boy who took it and bought it off of him for fifty dollars. It was an intimate picture shown in a vintage display with Jace looking down at me with a smile and a smile of my own.

"Huh. I should have paid him more." Jace stated and pocketed the photo in his wallet.

"How much money do you carry on you?" I laughed when he held up a nine with his fingers.

"Nine hundred?" I inferred and he nodded.

Jace Wayland was filthy rich and I was filthy average.

* * *

As promised, we came back to the Eiffel Tower at night and the stars and city lights shone brighter than the sun. It was stunning. I felt a hand come around my waist and he brought down his lips to kiss me. The chill of Paris at night came through when the water vapour came out from our mouths as we breathed through the desperation of the kiss.

Lips on lips moving in sync and moving softly against one another. Perfect was what it felt like; our noses fit against each other and the tilt of our heads moved so that we wouldn't bump into each other. It felt like every girl's dream.

"Baise-moi." I breathed out and we left the place that I will remember for the rest of my life.

**Jace**

_**The High Hopes**_

_Hope. Hope provided me with a light to my feet and to guide me towards her. I somehow managed to have enough liquid confidence to drag my feet to her buzzer. I buzzed it approximately a thousand times before someone's voice came over. _

"_Hello? Who is this?" It was Isabelle who answered and not her, God, if it was her I'd be gone by now. _

"_It's me." There was silence before the door clicked and Isabelle let me in. I was prepared for hell when I went in, but I wasn't prepared for a tall, black haired girl to stand in the middle of the hallway with a baseball bat and a murderous expression on her face. _

"_Who do you think you are Jace Wayland? You can't hurt her again, I won't let you. So leave and don't come back or I swear to God, I will not hesitate to beat you with this and file a restraining order." Technically, if she beat me with the baseball bat, I'd be filing a restraining order against her and I deserved every beat she was prepared to give me. _

"_I just want to talk to her." It came out desperate and it was because I was desperate. _

"_You can't." _

"_Why not?" _

"_You broke her heart, I am not letting you blow up her will and I am not letting you crush her soul. She is drifting away and you can't bring her back, you can only push her away further." Isabelle spat out and slapped me. _

"_I'm sorry." Was the last thing I said before leaving the building. I knew I would come back again...every single day until I was allowed to see one glimpse of her and feel her skin and her heartbeat again. I looked to Polaroid the boy took of us in Paris...I wanted that again; to have her by my side. _

_**The Blur of the Stars**_

Baiser. Pronounced "beh-zay" and it means in old fashioned terms: to kiss, but now it became a more vulgar term: to fuck and to fuck hard. The moment she said that to me on top of the tower, I wanted to take her then and there, but clearly it was widely inappropriate.

This was how we ended up: clothes sprawled all across the floor of her room in the hotel, heavy breaths, and her head lying right above my heart beat with her fingers tracing patterns on my stomach and collarbones.

"Have you ever done relationships before Jace?" She asked innocently, wide eyed and looking straight up.

"No."

"Oh." She fixed her head on my chest and stopped looking at me.

"Have you?" I asked her back and I heard a small yes ringing through the room.

"Just one serious one I guess. I didn't feel anything for him." This was definitely not Gabriel and I was too hesitant to ask who it was without getting jealous.

"Oh." The deal was a terrible one. Somehow, it had already come into shambles without even being a month yet. Hell, I haven't even known her for a month and I feel so strongly for her even though I shouldn't. I had never felt for anyone this way; every girl I had ever slept with always left the next morning and I never attached myself to any of them. Work was my wife and girlfriend, I never needed anything else.

My mind kept telling me to fire her so I can start a serious relationship with her, but being fired from Wayland Inc. meant getting black balled and I couldn't do that to her. I couldn't leave her jobless and I couldn't leave her with a bad reputation. Had we met on the street or in this city, I swear I would ask her out for a nice dinner and be the respectable man my dad was to my mom.

Too bad I was manipulative and there were too many blocks that prohibited me to begin anything with her. This dumb deal was the only way I could be with her freely and have my way with her. No emotions. "How hard was that?" I thought when I made it up then, God I didn't know it would be this difficult. Every time we kissed, I wanted to light myself on fire because I couldn't kiss her long enough and every time we held hands, it felt like some dirty secret. When she said she never wanted to see me ever again today, it hurt a lot and the tone was one of hate. She wanted to quit and I should have let her, but I was selfish and I needed her in this company. I needed to know what she was doing at every moment and with her in the company, I had full control.

"My mom." Those two words came out of her mouth as if there was gravel stuck in her throat.

"What about your mom?" Silence. Then, the next few words made me feel like the shittiest person on the planet and they were the most unexpected ones.

"She was a whore...escort for formalities but an honest to God prostitute. I guess that's why I was offended...I love my mom and if whoring around supported us, then that's what she had to do."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay…no one knows about it except for Isabelle and besides this is no strings attached so who are you to judge?" Clary let this off her chest and when she did, her body softened and she buried her face into my neck, breathing steadily.

I made a mental note to search her mother up when we got back to New York and to fund whatever she needed. I didn't want her on the streets doing the dirty work anymore. She didn't have to because I would protect her daughter with my life. I remembered Clary telling me in Taki's that she didn't know who her dad was either, I needed to search that up too.

"If we're talking about our parents again then, my mom is hosting this gala for charity that I'm sure you heard me talking over the phone about. I really hate that she makes me do those things just to meet girls when all I need is you." I said into the air and Clary only kept on breathing quietly with her hands still now, no longer tracing patterns on my skin; she was asleep.

"Jace." She murmured in her sleep and I chuckled.

"I like you a lot." Clary spoke again, it sounded sober and awake but she was clearly just talking in her sleep.

"I like you too." I kissed her forehead and she stirred, "Too bad we can't be together." It was as if she heard me say these words and her eyebrows furrowed into confusion.

Soon enough, I fell asleep to her soft, rhythmic breaths.

* * *

I wore the cufflinks to the meeting today and I saw her eying me with mischief from across the table. Of course she noticed, she noticed a lot of things about me. In the morning, she had told me that I snored and laughed about it. Needless to say that I tackled her on the bed and tickled her.

Loading up Skype, we broadcasted the call on the big screen with the board of directors in which Valentine immediately took charge. I only laid back as Valentine spoke to the board in his typical tone and by the end, we were celebrating. The only bad aspect of the meeting was the fact that they wanted to extend our lines even further to Australia. It was a good idea but I needed a break and I'm pretty sure that all my employees did as well.

We were all packing now, ready to board the plane back to NYC but this time Clary and I would not be sitting together. I'd be debriefing with Valentine and such and everyone else would be on the plane along with us. It sucked that we had to go so soon and I would love to come back here without all the craze and madness that happened yesterday. I heard a knock at my door and when I opened it, my little minx rushed in and shut the door with her foot.

"So…I see you like the cufflinks." She smirked and thumbed them in a circular motion.

"I do, they're the entire night sky to me." I could never lose this, if I did, I would never forgive myself. I didn't know why it meant so much to me; maybe it was simply the fact that I hadn't received a gift in a long time from someone that I cared about. They were the night sky because nothing could erase the memory of us on top of the Eiffel Tower and looking at the city lights and the stars.

"Really?" Her face lit up like a Christmas tree which caused me to smile wider than she already was.

"Really."

"Jace…" She began and I urged her to continue, "How long do you want me to stay in this company?" The question in itself was random and I immediately thought back to yesterday where she wanted out.

"Do you want to leave?"

"Not yet." Yet. That word always scared me because it would mean that the person would do it sooner or later and I would never know when.

"Then I want you to stay as long as you want; you're a good asset in this company." And in my bed and body I added in my head.

"So, I'm assuming that this deal is still on." Clary bit down on her bottom lip when she hesitantly said this and I smirked.

"I think last night was proof that it's still on." I chuckled and moved my hand to her waist. It was widely inappropriate to move my hand lower and pinch her behind but I did so anyways and she yelped.

"Jace!"

"Clary!" I mocked her in the same high voice that she screeched out.

There was something widely playful in the atmosphere until she strut out the room and left me craving after her.

"If you want me, come and get me." She sang and walked to her room with laughter.

I scoffed and smiled to myself. Truthfully, I hadn't been happy in a long time; sex with a different woman every week never did anything for, I worked myself to the bone and never slept, and my mother trying to set me up with the upper class socialites never helped. I always liked to be alone and I never needed anyone as much as I needed her...I needed her.

Knocking on her door, I was pulled in quickly by the collar with Clary standing clad in lingerie. Red lace lining the curves of her breasts and tracing her hipbones.

"I was saving this for yesterday before the fight, but now is good too." She whispered and lowered my head to hers. Undoing my belt, Clary lowered her body until she was down her knees and stroking me. God, this was hot.

"Clary…" That was the only audible thing in the room except for the groans that erupted from my throat. When she took me in her mouth, I was a goner. I saw stars and felt like paradise itself.

The cleaning ladies probably already changed the sheets from last night and I felt bad that they had to change them once more since we made the biggest, beautiful mess on the fresh white sheets. Hearing her moans and her calling out my name in a cry was enough to christen the bed without a second thought. If people heard us outside, they probably thought I was murdering her rather than giving her the time of her life.

Rolling off, I laid sideways and kissed the side of her neck, tracing down my lips to her fingertips. More moans and more bliss, we continued until my cellphone rang from the pants on the ground.

"When's our flight?" She asked while my head was in between her thighs, licking every crevice of her. I was a greedy kitten, lapping her clit like milk in a bowl.

"Soon." I buzzed out and she moaned louder and louder until I felt her pulsing on my lips.

There was silence in the room for a while until she sat up, the heavy breaths ending and she began to get dressed. Clary threw me my clothes and dressed in a rush.

"That was fun." She stated and pecked me on the lips once more before wheeling her luggage out to the door. It was amazing how fast she covered from her high and I slapped her butt once more before I left the room to get my own luggage.

"See you in New York." I called out with a smile.

* * *

Friday at the office, everyone was all hyped up for clubbing and drinking tonight since many of the employees had their day off tomorrow, one of which includes Clary. I didn't see her after we all left the airport and Valentine wouldn't stop talking on the plane the entire time. It was literally Australia this, Australia that.

I saw my coffee on the table at 9 this morning and skimmed the office for her face but she wasn't here.

"Imogen, have you seen my personal assistant?" I asked and she shook her head.

"She called in sick dear; said she had a fever. Sounded pretty bad on the phone." I wanted to go visit her and I promised myself that I'd go drop off some food at her apartment after I got off work.

"Thank you Imogen." I fished out my phone and texted her.

"No problem Mr. Wayland, did you need anything else?" When I took over this company, Imogen was already here. She looked after my father's things and now she looked after mine. I was eternally grateful for her presence here and she was probably one of the only opinions I really respected other than the board's bull shit that I was forced to respect.

"No, I'm good Imogen, tell Miss Morgenstern to stay at home; wouldn't want anyone else to be sick either."

_You okay? –J_

_Bad case of the stomach flu–C_

_Nothing to worry about, it usually gets better by the end of the day–C_

_All right. Get well soon.–J_

_Thanks. Gonna try to sleep.–C _

_Sweet dreams.–J_

Going back into my office, I began to read over more documents and spreadsheets that James handed me. Most of them was about the Paris venture and the rest was the stocks that continually went up. After a while, the papers on my desk were clear and I had nothing to do for the first time ever. I remembered to have a background check on Clary's dad or to try and find him. When I clicked on Jocelyn Morgenstern's name, all that showed was no husband, no boyfriend, nothing. Even Clary's birth certificate had no mention of her father on it; only her mother's name.

It was strange to have your last name changed to Morgenstern of all names. There had to be something that associated her with that name since her maiden name was Fairchild. No documentation whatsoever of a marriage and it was strange and suspicious. I thought back to her career choice and maybe Clary was a product of one of her customers; maybe it was an old rotting grandpa. The thing that stuck out was Jocelyn's face; it was familiar like I had seen her around once or twice.

There was someone I knew that knew her and that person was Luke. He had a banquet once and I recognized her face from her arm being looped through his. They were very affectionate and he had even introduced me to her. Clary was practically a mirror image of her but there had to be something that set her apart from her mother.

The thing was, I couldn't exactly ask Luke nonchalantly about her; I couldn't just call him up about it. This was suspicious since I was already sneaking around with her daughter and him being an important investor in my company could jeopardize all stocks. Luke sided with the board no matter how loyal he was to me as a companion. The law is hard but it is the law…company bylaws that is. My father practically had "Sed lex, dura lex" engraved onto his will.

Dialling Luke's number, the first thing I heard on the other line was,

"Hey." It came out as a grunt and it was strange.

"Hey Luke, long time no talk. How about we go and catch up?" There was heavy breathing on the other line and it took him a few seconds to respond.

"Yeah, yeah, listen Jace, can I call you back? I'm in the middle of something." He stated and suddenly there was a moan.

"Buddy, are you getting laid?" I asked this with pure amusement and began to go into a fit of laughter.

"Yes!" He yelled into the phone and hung up. As much as I always encouraged others to get laid, I honestly did not want to hear about them doing in during a phone call. At least he'd call me back.

Now, I just had to wait for the clock to tick faster.

* * *

**Author's Note:** That was a monster chapter! I really love the last two really long reviews I got; it pushed me to keep writing this. I am still looking for a beta and I did half this chapter on my phone that I lost on the bus. I am unsure of how long this story will be since the chapters are so long and the plot is actually very simple. The thing is, I'm not sure if I'll be updating very often unless this counts as very often since I give you guys such big chapters. I'm also not calling anyone out on this because a ton of people do it, but it irks me when people ask to get to a certain amount of reviews in order to update. That is pure torture to your readers and I actually write for enjoyment and to share my story with my readers, I ask for opinions and thoughts in reviews but I would never ask to get to a certain number of reviews. To me, it's very selfish if that makes sense. If you want to write a story and you like it, then just do it, asking for reviews is not ideal. **I did re-upload this chapter because I made a small mistake in the italics portion of Clary's point of view that would have altered the plot a bit but now it's back on track. **

Songs for this chapter:

Clary's scenes:

_City of Orphans by The Classic Crime_

_(Another Brick in) The Wall by Pink Floyd_

_A Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay_

_Talk by Kodaline_

Jace's scenes:

_High Hopes by Kodaline_

_The Precipice by The Classic Crime_

Review, favourite, and follow! I will love you five ever! Until next time!


	5. Chapter 5: The Young Volcano

**Clary**

_**The Love and the Drugs**_

_Painkillers. I guess you could say they were dangerous and I guess you could say that killing yourself over a boy who doesn't love you isn't worth it. You could also tell me there will be someone else who will love me better, but he was it for me and there is no one else who could give me that euphoria. This was stupid; I was stupid. _

_The memory of Paris came back to me when we were on top of the Eiffel Tower and it hurt even more. You would think that I'd be done hurting by now since it's been months. I heard someone buzz our apartment every day and Isabelle answered every single time. Today, I actually decided to come out and listen through the door. _

"_You need to stop coming. You're not going to help her." Isabelle spat out angrily. I haven't really heard her be this angry ever except for that one time some boy made a comment about wanting to sleep with my mom because she was quote on quote "a hot mom I'd like to fuck". _

"_Please, just let me see her." It was him. It was his voice. I wanted to turn the door knob and run into his arms but I couldn't. Instead, I was left with this empty feeling that I couldn't face him. _

"_No." Isabelle was firm on it and the only way he would ever see me was if I came out. Jokes on all them...I was going to move to Chicago and start anew. I was going to start a new name for myself and fix myself. If there was anything I learned from this was one, don't ever sleep with your boss, two, love goddamn sucks, and three, these feelings are fleeting and hurt is temporary. _

_I won't kill myself, not when there are other people to love. Moving away from the doorway, the last thing I heard was Jace's voice,_

"_I'm coming back here everyday until I see her." _

_Something about that line made me want to forgive and forget. It was too conflicting with all these mix and match of emotions that rattled my brain. I knew that the turmoil that came from this made me look like a girl that was hooked onto heroine for most of her life, but I also knew that this was going to shape me to be a better person. I wasn't going to get better if I was still in love with him though. _

_**The Preacher at the End of the World**_

Flu. Illness. Puke. Disease. These are words that would describe me as of right now. My stomach churned throughout the entire day and I couldn't stop throwing up and going to the bathroom. Everything hurt and I had a fever. On top of all of that, I was on the goddamned rag and it did not feel good, great, or awesome.

It was tiresome not being able to sleep without throwing up every ten minutes and gagging over a toilet bowl. I didn't even notice the hours tick by when the chills started settling into my body and I wrapped myself in three blankets and it was still cold.

Damn airplanes. No matter what class they were I always got sick right after a trip, in addition to that, I never hydrated myself enough. Pulling up my laptop, I decided to watch a few films until Isabelle got home. She promised to give me a sponge bath before she left for the hospital. I didn't want to text Jace while he was working even though I thought it was sweet of him to text me if I was okay. I had no appetite and I actually felt like shit but I didn't want to tell him that.

Before I started streaming my movie, someone buzzed the apartment and now I had to get up.

"Hello?" I'm pretty sure I sounded like hell, but who the hell cared?

"Hey, can you buzz me in?" There was a light chuckle from his side. Jace actually came over to visit me on my death bed. I unlocked the door for him and before I knew it, I heard his large footsteps skipping over the stairs.

"I picked up some chicken noodle soup from Taki's for you. How are you feeling?" He even enveloped me in a hug when I was germ infested and looked like crap.

"A bit better I guess, thank you, Jace, but you really didn't have to come over." I was truly bare right now; no make up and eye bags evident.

"Of course I did, you're a friend Clary…a friend that I have sex with a lot but regardless, a friend." He joked and came into my apartment, opening the chicken noodle soup and pouring it into a separate bowl.

It was a strange feeling to be called his friend. I wish he just said friends with benefits; it would have been a lot easier and it would have hurt less. The word 'friends' had too many strings attached to it, but then again, so did our deal, even though neither of us had intended for it to. Jace was smiling the entire time that he was serving me. It was strange to have your boss be a personal assistant to you and the thought in itself almost made me laugh out loud.

"What are you smiling about?" He asked while handing me soup. When I tried to feed myself, he immediately took the spoon away from my hands and cooled the soup and fed me. I didn't know whether to be grateful or if I felt like a baby.

"I can feed myself." I said cocking a brow and he burst out into laughter.

"I know, but haven't you ever heard that feeding your lover is an erotic act?"

"And didn't you just say that we're friends?" I quickly retorted and regretted my words when his entire body stilled. I knew from the expression on his face that he regretted his choice of words as well.

"Isn't it ironic that the boss is being the personal assistant to his personal assistant?" I mused, changing the subject.

All I got was a light smile and him continuing to feed me until the all the soup was gone.

"Isabelle's going to be home soon." Jace began washing the dishes for me, for a boy who came from a rich background, he wasn't as pampered as all the others were. This act set him apart from everyone else; he never had a maid or a cleaning lady at his house; he cooked and he hand washed the dishes.

"Have you told her?" I had a feeling that this was about the deal, but I acted impulsively and pretended like I didn't know what he was talking about.

"That I was sick? Yeah, she said she'd give me a sponge bath later." I was being evasive because I wanted to tell her; I told her everything and she knew everything about me. I was going to tell her later on today.

"I mean about the deal we have. You can't tell anyone Clary."

"Shouldn't she at least know–"

"No, she can't." Jace was set on this and there was no other way of convincing him that it would be good idea to at least have someone cover for us if something were to happen.

"You know you can't stay then Jace. You can't just come over whenever you want and make excuses every time she's here; it'll get suspicious."

"So you want to tell her?" The way he said this almost sounded like an accusation. I didn't feel like I would be doing anything wrong by telling her, "Hey Isabelle, I'm sleeping with my boss so if you hear sounds in the middle of the night, make sure to play some music and ignore us."

"Yes, I want to tell her." I was adamant on this but his face remained in a set frown.

"You have to understand that you can't tell _anyone. _It's not my job on the line, it's yours too Clary."

"It's just Isabelle."

"I'm not fighting with you over this!" I didn't like the shouting, or the way he stood up immediately as if he was about to leave or punch a wall.

"We're not fighting!" It seemed that my voice began to match his volume and audacity, "We're two consenting adults having a _lively, normal _debate."

Jace seemed to find my choice of words amusing and doubled over in laughter,

"God, it's hard to be mad at you." I didn't budge from my glare towards him even though my lips twitched a bit, wanting to smile.

"I'm going to tell her sooner or later Jace."

"Can I opt on later?" He smirked and leaned down to kiss me, but I swatted him away.

"I'm sick remember? You should go home, God knows how much sleep you actually get." Mischief was written across his entire face and he pecked me on the nose before giving a salute and leaving my apartment. I knew that I was smiling to myself and that the butterflies erupted in my stomach. It didn't take long to like someone and I knew I liked Jace Wayland beyond the sex and beyond friendship.

I liked him. The fact took a while to get used to before Isabelle came home. It made me fantasize about the things that would never happen. Jace and I walking in the park in public and being just as in love as anyone else. Jace and I on actual dates-it wouldn't matter where. Jace and I not having to sneak around. Jace and I…Jace and I…

Reality was a bitch when there is never going to be such thing as Jace and I, not when we weren't allowed to and not when he didn't want to. Liking someone was painful. In all honesty, I didn't remember how I came to like Sebastian Verlac or even if I ever did…I was just sick of being lonely. With Gabriel, I wasn't sure if I liked him either or if I just wanted to get rid of my virginity, as dumb as it may sound. I never really liked either of them. When James asked me out, I didn't know if I liked him either. See, the thing is, I don't actually think I've ever liked anyone with the same passion I felt for Jace.

This fact scared me.

Isabelle came home at a fantastic time, her entrance into our place was not at all subtle when she demanded to know when I began to sleep with my boss. Huh. So, Jace got it over for me.

"Clarissa Adele Morgenstern, what the fuck? Why didn't you tell me? God!" At first I was confused to why she spoke in scattered words and scattered cusses but then she continued.

"You're sleeping with him! And I didn't even hear it from you; I had to hear it from him and he was grinning all smugly and told me that I had to ask you for the rest of the information and then the asshole drove away. What the fuck! Where are his manners?!" Isabelle went into a full blown rant about how much of a douchebag Jace was and began pacing around the apartment while I just sat there staring at her until she was done. The realization hit me that Jace waited around until Isabelle got off work just to tell her for me. This was his way of "opting for later".

"Are you done?" I asked when she began screaming like a banshee and threatening to cook me food. Let me tell everyone now that Isabelle _cannot _cook, I repeat _cannot. _

"Yes, I'm done…sort of…not really…tell me what happened!"

"I swear to God Isabelle, I'm not going to tell you anything if you don't stop shouting. Calm down and we'll talk about this while you give me a sponge bath."

"Like hell I'm giving you a sponge bath." She spat this out angrily and began to use the word, "fuck" in the most horrid ways possible.

"What do you want to know?" I was defeated. The only way she was going to be less mad at me was if I told her Jace was seven inches or over–which he was. As Isabelle's motto goes, "Nothing less than seven inches." She had only just approved of Sebastian because I lied to her about him being seven.

"Everything." She looked at me as if I was dumb and urged me to go on.

"Seven inches."

"He looks over seven." She squinted her eyes at me until I broke down and said,

"He is."

This is when Isabelle fucking giggled and clapped her hands like a five year old on a sugar high. I can't believe my best friends gets off on hearing that a guy I'm sleeping with is over seven inches.

"That's freaking rare Clary! Like I mean it's not like I didn't see Sebastian coming out of the bathroom sometimes without a towel…he wasn't a seven. He clearly wasn't."

"Okay…um…" I didn't know what else she needed to know. I didn't want to talk about my ex either.

"Tell me when it when it started."

"Last week."

"LAST WEEK?!" I swear to God, at that moment I could see the flames in her eyes and I knew I would punish Jace later for not letting me tell her first. Whether or not it was sexual punishment, I wasn't sure.

"Yes…" It came out as a mutter and Isabelle grabbed a sofa cushion, screaming into the pillow.

"What the hell?!" At least the cussing toned down and all I had to deal with was her angry face.

"I think I'm just going to leave it at that, seeing as every time I say something, you get really mad." I began walking back to my room but Isabelle actually launched herself at me and hugged my legs.

"Oh my God Isabelle, what are you? Five?" She looked up at me with puppy dog eyes and the fake watery tears that you could easily get from yawning. Isabelle Lightwood knew I couldn't resist those eyes and the cute little "please" added onto it.

"Claryyy…" I can't believe she was whining about this. The last time she did this was in high school in the hallways when I wouldn't go to a party with her.

"Isabelle, I'm going to throw up on you if you don't let go of my leg and if you don't stop those puppy dog eyes." With this, she immediately backed off and led me to my death bed.

"I promise to calm down if you promise to answer all my questions without hesitation or else you have to eat my cooking."

"Okay." Like hell was I going to eat her cooking if I ever wanted to get better.

"Do you like him?" Of all the questions Isabelle had to ask, she had to ask this one. I knew I couldn't hesitate either so I immediately said yes and she raised her eyebrows.

"Does he know?" Again, worst questions ever. Why couldn't Isabelle ask more shallow questions that more so pertained to his dick size than the size of my feelings?

"No, he doesn't. Look, it was a deal we had. The thing we're doing: boss slash employee relationship, it goes against all the company bylaws and if anyone else finds out, we're both screwed. Friends with benefits, no strings attached, booty call, etcetera…whatever you want to call it but it's a secret." A look of sympathy washed over Isabelle's face when she wrapped her arms around me for a hug.

"Clary, if you guys are going to fuck each other's brains out, you might as well start an actual relationship with him. Just a suggestion."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"He doesn't want to." It was as simple as that. He didn't want to because he only felt a physical attraction to me and there was no mental or emotional attraction.

"Look, this type of relationship doesn't suit you. In a way, I know you better than you know yourself just like you know me better than I know myself. We're sisters and I know that there's something inside of him that wants to as well."

"Yeah, but nothing's ever going to happen between us. It's just sex to him."

"Not if you do something to will erupt his heart." She said all too coyly.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that taking it from me, these types of relationships never last without emotions. I'm always saying that jealousy may be manipulative but it works like a charm. You'll have him wrapped around your finger." Isabelle used her index finger and twirled it around a strand of my hair. It was manipulative on all kinds of levels, but I was going to do it.

_**The Young Volcano **_

Curves. The way my body curved against him was perfect, the way he cornered me in a wall in his office almost made my body burn with fire and lose control, and the way I swatted his hand away when he tried to slip it up my skirt was absolute hell to do to myself. We hadn't had time to see each other since last week when I was sick and on the rag, a week had elapsed and we were finally back into each other's arms.

"Are you punishing me?" He murmured against my neck but I could feel a smirk forming and I could see the dimples on the side of his cheek.

"Maybe, you should have let me tell Isabelle myself." My fingers slipped down to the bulge straining against his dress pants and he elicited a muffled groan.

"I know, but I thought I'd take the heavy burden off for you…I'm done with this punishing thing." Jace grazed his lips against mine, but it was me who was smirking this time.

"I have to get back to work." I ducked under his arms and patted his butt. As hard as I tried to wipe the smirk off my face when I shut his office door, I couldn't.

"Hey, what's so funny?" Simon appeared right in front of me with a confused look.

Lie. Lie. Lie.

"I…uh…while I was in Jace's office, we saw this guy on the street wearing a duck costume in the freezing cold trying to smack an old lady's butt and we just couldn't stop laughing." At least my fake laughing skills didn't need freshening up. Simon looked at me as if I was crazy.

"You're the only person I know that actually calls Mr. Wayland by his first name. If any one of us were to do that, I swear to God, the board has a guillotine with our names written on it. You know they're really strict about the company bylaws? Especially that one about employer and employee personal relationships. I think you should just stick to calling him Mr. Wayland from now on though." From what I could tell about this piece of advice, Simon was loyal to his friends if he was kind enough to remind even me about them. In this dog eat dog world, there weren't many people you could trust, but it just so happens that Simon was a good person.

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind."

"Just looking out for my friends." He smiled politely and left for his cubicle.

The rest of the day, I continued to work and organize the files without being called into Jace's office again. The entire office cleared out as the clocked hit nine and I could still hear the tapping of a keyboard coming from his room. I knew the annual company Thanksgiving gala was coming up and Jace had to deal with the responses coming in from Paris about the satellites and the connections. Quietly, I turned the door knob to his office and left him a take out box of Chinese food on his desk.

"Hey, I'm leaving. Get some sleep." I whispered and began to walk away.

"Clary…"

"Yeah?" I whipped my head around to see that he was still typing but continued to look at me.

"You know how the gala's coming up this Saturday?"

"Yeah." I secretly hoped that he would ask me to be his date, but of course, disappointment always comes.

"Well, my mother comes every year and every year she sets up a date for me…" As I said before: disappointment always comes.

My automatic reaction to this was immediate hurt and bravado, I knew I would cry when I got home.

"Why are you telling me this? We're not in a relationship Jace, you're free to have other girls on your arm." Deep down, I hoped that this would hurt him the way it hurt me when he told me that he had another date.

"Just thought you'd like to know, I didn't want to surprise you or anything." He stopped typing when he saw me shaking my head and when he stood up, I left in a hurry, not wanting to see his face at all or even let him touch me.

I knew I was biting my lip really hard because I didn't want to cry until I got home. I bit down and chewed away the skin at my chapped lips all the way down to the parkade. When I backed my car up, I hoped that I would at least see him chasing me down through my side mirrors. Disappointment always comes.

When my phone buzzed, I didn't want to look at it. It kept buzzing and buzzing the entire way to my apartment until I finally parked and caved in to what was sent to me.

_Hey Clary, can you sleep at Jace's tonight? I have…company. –I _

Even when I was dating Sebastian, Isabelle would bring men over and I would stay with Sebastian. This was different though, Sebastian and I were dating for three years and when I wasn't dating, Isabelle would go to her man's house instead. I wasn't dating Jace for one and two, I couldn't face him right now.

_Isabelle, I didn't look at this until now. I can't go to his house, he's still at the office. –C_

_Clary, I'm sorry. –J_

_Clary, please respond. –J_

_I'm going to finish up some paperwork and then I'm going to call you okay? –J_

_I'm going to bed Jace. –C_

I trudged up the stairs and before I even dug the key into the hole, I already heard moaning and wall banging. This was not going to be a good night. Bracing myself for the horridity of what was to come, everything became louder the moment I stepped in. This was so not cool, but I wasn't going to cock block her either.

While I changed into my pajamas, my wall kept thumping. I needed to have a talk with Isabelle in the morning. I heard my phone ring and I knew it was Jace. Shutting my phone off, I plugged my ears with ear plugs to block out the moans as well as the sound of my own sobbing.

Let me say that I did not sleep at all that night and when I got up in the morning, I knew I had only gotten three hours of sleep. I couldn't exactly blame the whole thing on Isabelle, most of it was due to my own stupidity of letting my emotions getting the worst of me. I needed a date this Saturday and this was it. This was the manipulative, jealousy game I had to play, only this time it involved a country club socialite that would have her arm wrapped around Jace's arm and my date would be none other than Gabriel Lightwood.

When I came out of my room that morning, I bumped into Simon who was indecent and had his junk hanging all over the place.

"Oh my fucking God, put your clothes on!" I think I bursted his eardrums and woke him up. This was the guy that was a total mess when I met him and ended up being a total mess now, but had enough game to score with Isabelle Lightwood.

"What's going on?" Isabelle came out her room with a groan and I realized they went all night with it.

"You slept with Simon?!"

"Clary, Clary, Clary, shhh!" She hushed me and dragged me into her room where she shoved me on the bed for a talk. God, this is where they did. God, I hope she washes these sheets. God, I need to get off this bed.

"It's my off day and it so happens that it was his too, we really hit it off at the bar." Isabelle smiled lazily and patted my cheek.

"He also works in my office, you know? Where Jace is!" I hissed lowly and added, "He also has a girlfriend."

"Oh, then I guess we'll go over to his place next time if you want this place to you and your boss." Isabelle was still drunk and I could tell when she tapped my nose, "He also broke up with his girlfriend Clary, don't worry."

"I'm going to work Isabelle. You should really cook for him." I left the bedroom while Isabelle passed out on the bed and I came face to face with Simon again.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled and I shook my head. There were things that I could not unsee and Isabelle definitely went for over seven inches this time.

"It's all good as long as it's your apartment next time and I don't have to hear any of it." I mused and changed into work clothes. On my way to picking up Jace's coffee for the morning, I ran into Gabriel who was flirting with the barista over the counter.

"Very classy Lightwood." He looked over at me and grinned like a Cheshire cat, completely ignoring the barista now who seemed to want to throw his drink at his face.

"Morgenstern, how are you doing? Haven't seen you since Paris, I was wondering when you were going to call and be done with that boy of yours." His arm somehow found its way around my shoulders and we began walking out.

"Seems like you weren't wondering anymore and if you're not busy this Saturday, would you mind being my date for the company gala?" I wasn't the shy, little highschooler anymore that always wanted the guy to ask me out. Gabriel smirked even wider and kissed me on the cheek.

"I'd be honoured to replace your little boytoy. In this case, why isn't he your date?"

"He's busy." Yeah, busy with another girl that his mother set him up with. I knew I shouldn't stoop so low as to play the same card that Jace did, but consequences be damned. He held out his phone for me to enter my number in so he could pick me up for tomorrow night. Gabriel kissed me on the cheek as a good bye and then I was on my way to work.

When I got there, it was 8:45 meaning Jace shouldn't be there yet. I dropped his coffee off on his desk and looked at his calendar for next week. As usual it was full but something else caught my eye for next Friday night. _Country Club with Mother and Jessamine. _I wondered who Jessamine was and if she was going to show up tomorrow. Jealousy coursed through the nerves in my body and it tightened my throat, I wanted to cry again. I couldn't though, I cried enough last night and I needed to be at my best.

There are moments where I need to realize that this isn't high school and this isn't college. This is life and this was my job. I needed to do my job and put all personal feelings aside. I never needed anyone or anything. I only ever had my pride and I knew I was too stubborn to ever let someone else get the best of me, so why did I let him get under my skin so much? Maybe it was because I've never given my heart to anyone and my heart was ready burst out of my chest to be given to him.

"Clary." Jace knocked me out of my thoughts and I knew he saw me staring at his calendar.

"Good morning, do you need anything for today? Organizing notes, writing thank you letters, cleaning up your desk?" I was rambling because I didn't want to get on the topic of last night, I didn't want to fight with him. Jace only shook his head and asked the inevitable question,

"Why did you ignore me last night?"

"I was asleep and my phone ran out of battery. Did you know that taking calls while your phone is charging can result in your phone being set on fire?" My fun fact wasn't a lie, this kind of stuff actually happens. Jace could tell when I was lying and he told me that he didn't want to see me right now and that there was a meeting later. That was fine with me, truth be told, I didn't want to see him either right now.

For the time being, I ran errands for other people such as picking up their copies from the printer room and analyzing charts. I was made to be something better than a personal assistant, but majoring in business hasn't made a grand impact in my life besides landing this job. Most of the time, I felt like my degree went to waste until Jace asked me for his opinion on a certain predicament. A lot of what he asked was basic, basic, basic knowledge, but he was so blinded by the pressure and ridicule people gave him that he forgot how think as a businessman.

As I turned around from the printer with all the collected papers, I saw that James stood right in front of me with a friendly smile. He was a sweet guy who sincerely cared about a person; me cancelling on him last minute was probably the worst thing I could do to him. Yet, here in front of me was a guy who was willing to forgive and forget and actually give a meaningful smile.

"Hey Clary." James greeted me and started pressing buttons on the machine.

"Hi James, how are you?" I felt so guilty when I saw a sad smile cross his face and he stilled said, "I'm okay."

"Listen, about last time–"

"It's really no worries Clary, my friend Will came over and we hung out. It was good." This was friendly small talk and I couldn't stand it. I hated that he was probably sad because I technically stood him up last time.

"How about we do a raincheck?" I gave Jace permission to see other girls last night, I might as well give myself permission too but his response was not one that I expected.

"I'm actually seeing someone right now…we're in a fight that's all." Well this was awkward and embarrassing. I assumed he felt the awkwardness as well when he chuckled at the blood rushing to my face.

"Clary, it's fine." He laughed wholeheartedly and collected his papers, "I'll see you around okay?" Smiling in embarrassment to myself, I walked to Eric who requested the copies of the papers earlier. He kindly asked for help on how to text a girl pick up lines after I gave him his copies. Looking at the text he had so far, it included, "nefarious loins" and "faux juggernauts". Oh God, this was not acceptable. After helping him with that, Imogen called me over to help her arrange the events with human resources for tomorrow night.

The caterers had messed up the menu for tomorrow and changed it from turkey to chicken. Inside, I freaked out at how a catering company could mess this up seeing as it was Thanksgiving, but on the outside I laughed nervously to how this could be fixed. Turns out, Imogen has been on hold with them the entire morning and still hadn't received a response.

There was so much to do out here besides attending to Jace's wants and needs. Everyone out here worked just as hard as he did and of course, it was unfair with all the salaries and such, but they understood that that was life. Everyone was typing away in their cubicles with serious looks on their faces. This was made known to me that I took my job for granted just because I had some kind of sex deal with the boss. How fucked up was that? Anyone was disposable here and come to think of it, I hadn't seen Maia since I first came here. I asked Imogen and she said that people came and went every single day…most of us here just didn't notice if we weren't close to them.

For the rest of the time before the meeting, Imogen and I got the human resources department to go online with the catering company to get them to change the menu back to what we wanted before. Luckily, they apologized for the mix up and was willing to charge fifteen percent less of what they charged originally. Imogen actually pinched my cheeks for helping her and God, I felt bad for her grandchildren if they had to suffer the wrath of her cheek pinching.

I entered the boardroom to prepare for the meeting, setting coffee cups in front of each seat as well as the itinerary for what was to be discussed. The same time I let out a loud sigh, Jace entered the room with his cell phone attached to his ear. He didn't smirk or grin at me when he entered the room, only a fixed glare that was reserved for those that he disliked–cough Gabriel cough.

"Mom, I'll see you and Jessamine tomorrow, I'll be sure to pick her up and be a gentleman." So Jessamine was his date for tomorrow night. The way he said this to her was in a whisper as if he didn't want me to hear. I could hear the mumbling sounds of a woman on the other line that irritated Jace, who didn't look at me anymore. I began setting up the projector screen and while this was all being done, Jace kept yelling at the phone.

"Mom, I'm not going to marry her! Stop setting me up with these girls!"

With that he hung up and threw his phone at the ground angrily, spitting out cuss words in the mix. In any other circumstance, I would have thought it was sexy, but he was mad at me and I was pissed off at him. We didn't say anything to each other until I picked his phone off the ground and set it on the table.

"Did you even see my texts this morning?" He asked from the head chair of the table with his fingers set on his forehead. He was frustrated and still angry from the conversation with his mother. Clearly, there was no empty "I love you" this time so yes, Jace was ticked off and I didn't want to answer his question.

"No, I didn't look at my phone." I sighed and pulled up a seat beside him.

"Why do you do this to me?" Jace groaned, rubbing at his temples.

"Do what?"

"Make my life worse than it already is." Again, his choice of words really needed improvement but then again, I thought about taking his insults just like everyone else did in the office and I couldn't. I lashed out at him.

"Yeah, well I'm sure Jessamine can tend to your needs and make your life easier." Jace seemed to pick up the bitterness in my voice and he reached out to hold my hand that I quickly retreated.

"That's not what I meant Clary, you know that."

"Do I?" I retorted, "And just thought you should know that I'm going with Gabriel tomorrow as a date. I didn't want to surprise you or anything." I said the same words he said to me last night. Rage seemed to fill his eyes, turning it from gold to black in seconds. Before he could say anything back, Valentine Morgenstern sauntered in along with another board member. Jace held in his anger and greeted the two with a fake, bright smile. I got up from the seat and moved to the corner of the room to be with Imogen to take notes. When she came in, I finally felt like I had a friend to walk through this realm of hell with me; namely Jace Wayland's fury.

The more people that came in, the more frustrated Jace became with his forced smiles. He kept glancing up at me with a dirty glare while Imogen was busy on the laptop. The meeting began with information about tomorrow's gala in which Imogen spoke about the catering company while I took notes on her speaking. Wayland Inc. was to never hire this company again no matter how successful or popular it was. Jace spoke about how the gala was tradition in the company and it was something his father started in order to raise money for charity as well as feast and network with important people.

The way Jace spoke about his father was with a bright, illuminating passion. Jace never spoke a poor thing about him because of how successful Michael Wayland was as a CEO/founder and a father. Of course, the only thing I could ridicule was the way his son chose to enter relationships that were forbidden. It made me wonder if his father had ever actually spoke to him about girls and sex or if he was just the basic American father who told him to cover his dick and don't get anyone pregnant.

As the meeting went on, the topic went back to Paris once again and the network connections there. Parisians were starting to see a glimpse of what Wayland Inc. could offer them…that is until Mr. Starkweather butt in.

"In my opinion, I do not believe this Paris expedition was beneficial to the company at all." All heads turned to look at him and I scribbled in my small notepad: old bitch makes a comment about Paris being a con. I knew Jace would enjoy that little note and I smiled lightly to myself, careful not to make any giggling noises.

"And why is that Mr. Starkweather?" Valentine asked with full curiosity, motioning him to give his reason.

"Would it not make sense first to expand within the United States first?"

"Of course, but we have time to do so and meanwhile other companies are expanding internationally and we need to live up to competition." Valentine answered and Jace nodded in full agreement. He flickered his eyes up at me with the same possessiveness he had that morning in Paris. With his jaw clenched, it made the outlines of his face more mature and somehow sexier.

"In my defense as well as the board's, the Parisians are fine with Wayland Inc., and to add even further, they are more than fine with it; they love it…they love us and every aspect we stand for. Of course we will expand to the west coast soon enough and the moment the Canadian phone companies stop will their protest to disallow us American companies to come in, we will storm in and blow their minds away. Are you content with this answer Mr. Starkweather?" Jace drawled out, clearly annoyed with Mr. Starkweather's past antics in the boardroom. He only nodded and they drifted away from the conversation of broadening services and into the discussion of changing company bylaws.

This was shocking considering it was Valentine who mentioned it to everyone rather than Jace.

"Mr. Wayland, I understand that these bylaws were your father's legacy but if we are on the verge to be a company that is more modernized, do you not agree that some should be altered?" I saw Imogen's eyebrows raise to this suggestion and mouthing to herself in shock.

Jace remained passive and leaned back onto his chair, staring straight into my eyes.

"What do you suppose should be changed?"

"The one about not being able to quit without being blackballed, the one about employer and employee relat–" Valentine was immediately cut off by Jace, who began laughing.

"Mr. Morgenstern, these bylaws were practically written into my father's will and I can't change them as much as I'd like to. Do you think they were written just as simple words? Absolutely not, my father's legacy is not something I'd like to change even though they may come off as unfair. They were written to protect the company and reassure fairness and loyalty." Jace said, he refused to even look at me now. I was disgusted with him. How dare he speak of fairness and loyalty when he was having sexual relations with him and he was going to have another girl on his arm tomorrow? Without even thinking, I scoffed loudly and all heads turned to look at me; everyone was waiting for an explanation.

"Is there something you'd like to add Miss Morgenstern?" Jace asked in all seriousness. Betrayal was what I saw and God, I would like to add something.

"I'm not sure how being blackballed helps anyone, we were all required to sign contracts in the beginning." I couldn't believe those words came out of my mouth and when more flooded out, the others turned back to look at Jace, "Also, I'm not sure how employer and employee relations affect the well-being of the company. If work equality was implemented in the right way, I'm sure there's a way–" It seemed that Jace liked to cut people off in this meeting and I became aggravated.

"I don't think you understand the importance of my father's legacy."

"I don't understand the antiquated bylaws in general." I stated without any shaking to my voice. I refused to swallow my pride even when I felt Imogen tug at my blouse sleeve. Valentine nodded for me to keep on going and the other members were still in shock that I even spoke up.

"Do we need to have a completely separate meeting for all members working under this company to understand the purpose of these bylaws?" Hypocrite. God, he was such a hypocrite. I wanted to cry at this point but there would be no use; I couldn't be seen as weak. Jace even had the gall to raise his voice at me while he was being a hypocrite.

"Maybe we do." It wasn't kind the way I said this and Jace seemed to grow more irritated to the point where his voice boomed through the entire room and everyone was silence.

"MISS MORGENSTERN, PLEASE SEE ME IN MY OFFICE AFTER THIS MEETING!"

"With pleasure." I was going to get fired. This was my moment and he turned back to the table, telling them that they were not to go through this topic again. When they moved onto the topic of new marketing ideas and styles, I no longer had the energy to write anything. I heard Imogen sighing quietly every few seconds and I asked her quietly if she needed any coffee. She shook her head and looked up at me in disappointment to my earlier performance.

I felt a bit guilty with the way Imogen looked at me. I had shaken up a strong foundation within the board room and no one–not even Hodge Starkweather–spoke against Jace anymore. No one brought forth new ideas and no one argued. Valentine Morgenstern even glanced over at me mouthing countless apologies and I only gave him a half smile. With no one being able to provide any useful ideas, Jace huffed and I decided to run my mouth again.

"Love as advertising. I mean real love, not the unrealistic ones as a marketing strategy." The way everyone in the room scrutinizing me like a hawk was intimidating, Jace seemed to cool down from earlier when he heard my idea.

"Go on." He pressed without any anger or bitterness lacing in his voice. It was more comforting and it compelled me to continue.

"I'm assuming everyone has watched the First Kiss video directed by Tatia Pllieva. It was an advertisement for clothing and it turned into this huge thing. This company needs something profound. We're company that provides networking services; telephones, internet, cell phones, television! We can do so much with that and love is something everyone wants. I'm not talking about the fake I-met-you-on-the-street-can-I-have-your-number type of advertising, we need something profound and original that digs into the human spirit." After I finished my schpiel, Jace was smirking and nodding lightly at my idea.

"Meeting adjourned, everyone go for lunch and think of ideas. Courage is respected in this room, I applaud you Miss Morgenstern." Everyone got up from their seats and left the room in silence, I could hear the relieved sighs coming from outside. As I began leaving too, Jace called from the table.

"Clary, I still need to speak with you about your performance. Meet me in my office." Jace motioned for me to follow him to his office and I actually feared for my paycheck. So this was how my co-workers felt about working here; they were always fearing for their career. It was a privilege to work here and my pride was far too grand to humble itself.

Once we were inside his office, Jace didn't slam me against the wall and ravish me like he usually did. He glared at me from his desk and began talking in a scary calm voice that made me want to cry and beg for forgiveness.

"Who do you think you are to criticize my father's bylaws?" He was seething. It was clear that he held all his anger in from last night to today and this was his boiling point; a volcano that was prepared to erupt.

"I think that I'm just your fuck buddy and that you're a hypocrite." This was it: I was going to cry. My voice already nearly broke when I said those words but Jace held no sympathy in his eyes.

"Yeah well, hypocrisy makes the both of us. Look, he made those laws to ensure loyalty and fairness and if fairness was me fucking every employee in the Goddamned office, I would have fucked Imogen already, but I haven't. People find loopholes to contracts, Clary, and they just pay off bail like it's nothing these days. People want to destroy me and my image and they will do anything to do it. You can see the way Hodge looks at me in that room–the burning hate."

"Selfish bastard. Do you ever think about your words before you say them? I know that I'm no different but you hurt me every time you open your mouth. These bylaws are to protect _you _Jace; it doesn't protect any of us. It destroys us and you don't even know it." Tears were flowing down now and when my hand went up to wipe them, I felt the calloused touch of his own thumb wiping them away for me.

"I'm sorry." His entire face softened and I walked out of his office, not wanting to be in his presence at all for the rest of the day. I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat and walked out of the building for lunch. Food was comfort in all situations and this situation was no different. I came head to head with another volcano that wasn't about to give up any time soon. It made me ponder to how I managed to like an asshole like Jace Wayland and care so much about him.

If seeing me with Gabriel hurt him tomorrow, then good. He deserves it.

**Jace**

_**The Daisy**_

_Devious. That was a great word to describe Gabriel Lightwood when I saw his face on the street and he sauntered over to me without shame. The grin that was plastered all over his face made me want to punch it off of him. I knew that right from the get-go, Gabriel wanted to rub it in my face more than magazines already had. _

_He was intimate with her more than once. He fucked her in the worst place possible. I knew about that. I was so angry when I found out and no matter how angry I was, Clary stopped me from making his nose bleed. I could never be entirely angry at her. Clary always looked so delicate just like a daisy, but beneath this image, she was headstrong and fierce. Those qualities were something I admired her for._

_The moment Gabriel opened his mouth to say something crude, I walked away. If me punching Gabriel was going to make her upset, then I'd rather not. She was already disappointed in me and I couldn't handle anymore of it. Gabriel didn't follow me but I saw him scoff with a smirk of victory and I made my way to her apartment just as I had every single day. _

_For the first time in months, I saw her standing in the hallway with luggage. Clary looked frail as if she didn't eat much and her eyes were lifeless. Her cheekbones were hollow and the scent of cigarette smoke filled her presence. I didn't know what else to say besides, _

"_Where are you going?" That was when her eyes bore into mine and that was when I broke. _

_**The Young Volcano**_

Fire. The moment I saw her walk in the ballroom with a form fitting cocktail dress with Gabriel Lightwood on her arm, I wanted to set myself on fire. I knew Jessamine could feel my entire body stiffening at the sight of the two together and she only held on tighter, trying to get my attention. How could I even look at her when Clary was there standing like a goddess sent from God Himself straight into another man's arms?

If only it was proper to damn my mother and her idea of what my wife or girlfriend should be like. It was a bullet to the heart when I saw his hand snake around waist and the more they walked towards us, I saw the hand go further down to where only I was allowed to touch. Clary avoided eye contact with me when Gabriel came over to shake my hand. When his hand left her waist, I wanted to lead her away with my own and ravish her in one of the hotel rooms upstairs. I would likely spank her and create marks all over her body with my mouth, but I had Jessamine Lovelace leeching onto my arm and I knew she wouldn't be letting go anytime soon.

"Mr. Wayland, who's your lovely companion over here?" Gabriel mused, his hand going back to Clary's waist. This was outrageous; she was mine!

"Jessamine Lovelace." The leech said from my side and fluttered her eyelashes. How my mother came across her was beyond me and from the way Clary's body stiffened at the sight of her, made it known that she was uncomfortable. Gabriel didn't even notice though, he only kissed Jessamine's hand and led Clary to one of the tables. She didn't say a single thing to me nor did she even look at me.

"I'm not stupid, Jace." Jessamine hissed while smiling at the others.

"Are you sure?" I had a reputation for offending the women that my mother usually set me up with and yes, Jessamine Lovelace was offended.

"If you think I'm going to another outing or date with you, you're wrong. Tell your mother I'm cancelling for next Friday. You're lucky you're good looking Jace, otherwise I'd dump you right now." I wanted to laugh, but I only gave her my trademark smirk and she scoffed and took her seat at the table.

At the table, I saw Luke trying to speak to Clary and not too far off was a woman who mirrored her. They were together and any idiot could see that. With the way Clary was speaking to Luke, I could tell that they were through clipped words and that she didn't want to see him right now. He kept trying though until I came over and dragged him away.

"Hey Luke, didn't you promise to catch up with me?" I asked enigmatically and Luke gave an uncomfortable smile.

"Yes Jace, listen about that phone call…"

"You're fucking Clary's mother aren't you?" I accused and his eyes betrayed him.

"I've been in love with her for twenty years and I finally find her again. You won't understand the complexity of it all Jace–where did you get those cufflinks?" At that point, I knew Luke was hiding something. No one knew about these cufflinks besides me, Clary, and her mother…and now Luke.

"They were a gift."

"From who?" If I didn't choose my words carefully now, I could potentially ruin my career.

"Clary held a birthday party for me at the company, these were a gift from her."

"I don't think you understand the purpose of those."

"Then please explain to me if you do." We were neck to neck, suddenly, it felt like we weren't friends anymore. Luke looked at me as if I was his worst enemy until Clary's mother came over to see what was going on.

"Luke honey, let's go to our seats." She urged politely while Luke never took his eyes off of me.

"Enchanted to see you again Mrs. Morgenstern." I greeted in which I got a tight smile in return along with a glare from Luke. She seemed to cringe at her last name until she caught view of the cufflinks and turned exceedingly pale.

"Luke and I must get going, we're looking forward to your speech." She linked her arms into his and led the way. Needless to say, neither of them made eye contact with me anymore.

Taking my seat at the head of the table, I clinked on a glass with my dessert fork that got everyone's attention.

"My name is Jace Wayland, Chief Executive Officer of Wayland Incorporated. I welcome you all to the 49th annual Thanksgiving Charity Gala that was originally started by my father, Michael. Everyone here knows that his dream was to create better connections in the world and with these connections, we can help those who are in need. This year, we have decided to donate all the money raised tonight to _Her Justice_, a local organization that supports women going through abuse as well as their children that are in need of lawyers willing to go pro bono. I believe that every person deserves equality and so did my father. Women are on the same social status as men and I hope each and every one of you understands our vision tonight. Before we dine into this lavish, mouthwatering turkey, let's say what we're thankful for."

Raising my glass, I spoke the words that were different from every other year because every other year was meaningless to me.

"I'm thankful for each member that has courage and the audacity to work under such a hot headed, demanding person as me. I'm thankful for the fact that we're all here tonight for a good cause. To prosperity and good health." I drank my champagne and everyone followed. Sitting down, the waiters began serving turkey and Jessamine was chatting away to the people beside her about the life of a socialite.

I was bored to death and having my mother and Jessamine beside me was not good company. Meanwhile, glancing over, I saw Clary laughing at the obscene jokes Gabriel was making. They were also speaking to one of the members with absolute delight. The only thing that kept me through was the food. It didn't help that Luke was glaring at me every few minutes until Jocelyn waved her hand over his eyes.

After everyone finished dinner, the anonymous bids began on paintings by Jocelyn Morgenstern. It became known to me that she was no longer an escort, but rather made famous by Luke and her paintings did not come cheap. I came across a painting of Clary and since they were anonymous, I wrote down a number that I knew no one could compete with. After all, the money went to charity anyways.

Hearing the symphony begin their first piece of Liszt's La Campanella, I knew the dance started and Gabriel was already dancing with Clary. She didn't look happy; she wasn't smiling and there was no mischief in her eyes. This time, she looked directly at me and turned her attention back to Gabriel, giving him a light smile. It hurt and she knew it hurt. Didn't it hurt for her the same way when I told her about Jessamine that night? It wasn't fair to her and she was mirroring my actions to make a point. It made me jealous as hell to see her in the arms of the man that she lost her virginity to. There were times where I wished that I met her in high school and that I'd be the one to give her the most special night of her life, but it didn't work that way. Life, I mean.

Jessamine decided to drag me onto the dance floor right beside Clary and Gabriel. It was clear that she knew and she was right earlier: she wasn't stupid. As Gabriel's hands travelled lower and lower until it rested on her butt, I saw him give her a light squeeze and her body straightened up. I nearly lost it and let go of Jessamine, but she held me back, crashing her lips to mine. After pushing her away, I saw the hurt written all across Clary's face and the grin plastered on Jessamine's. Ironically, this was intense part of La Campanella and Clary excused herself from Gabriel's arms to use the powder room.

"I don't know why you would like someone like her." Jessamine muttered, wrapping her arms around my neck. I couldn't stand Jessamine Lovelace for another second and I separated myself from her to follow Clary.

Everything was so crystal clear now: I liked Clary so much and so intensely. It hurt me when I saw the hurt on her face. When I entered the powder room, I heard moaning in one of the stalls and all I saw were Clary's heels and Gabriel's dress shoes. I couldn't stand it anymore, I kicked the door down and the two stared at me in shame. I saw the dried tears on Clary's face as well as the two bodies together connected as one.

"Mr. Lightwood, if you could excuse us, I need to talk to my employee about proper conduct." I spat out each word like venom. The sight of the two made me want to throw up on Jessamine's shoes. I wanted to punch Gabriel's eyes out, wring his joints, and then kill him slowly for touching my girl. They immediately disconnected and fixed their attire, Gabriel leaving the room and I dragged Clary upstairs to a room that I reserved for tonight.

"Jace…" She started speaking while plopping down on my bed. Part of me didn't want to look at her and another part of me wanted to tear her clothes off and give her what Gabriel didn't finish.

"Give me one reason why this deal should still go on." Was all I could say before blowing up.

"It shouldn't." She said simply and I began laughing.

"God Clary, she kissed me and I didn't even kissed her back. I know for a fact that Gabriel didn't rape you, you willingly went to him."

"I don't know what you want me to do Jace, you won't let me go. I'm not yours." The words hurt only because it sounded like she didn't want me anymore and from what I saw in the bathroom, it matched her words exactly.

"Yeah, well this is me letting you go. Deal's done and you can fuck whoever you want." The words tasted sour in my mouth but what's done is done.

"What?"

"What do you mean 'what'? This is what you wanted Clary, so you can go because you don't want me anymore and I don't want you."

She only nodded silently, there were no tears coming out and I was the only person fuming,

"Okay."

"Have fun with Gabriel." I said tiredly and she got up, walking out of the door saying the two words that hurt me even further,

"I will." And she was gone. I wanted to chase her and bring her back to the room. I wanted us to forgive each other and have slow make up sex. I wanted her. So badly.

When I made my way back down to the main ballroom, there was no sight of Gabriel or Clary. I asked the doorman if he saw a young red headed woman and a brown haired man walking out together and what he said crushed me even further.

"Sir, they left in a car together. The girl said something about going back to his place for the night. I'm sorry, did you need anything from either of them?"

"No, it doesn't matter now. The thing I wanted is gone." I retreated back into the ballroom with a fake smile to become the same person I was before I met her: heartless, cold, and dead inside.

So much for birthday wishes…

* * *

**Author's Note: **Big shout out to Harunifuyu for being my beta, I appreciate it a lot :) Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and try not to hate me for doing this to them because you do realize there are more chapters to come and they do come in monster sizes now. It's likely that I'll get the next chapter done by next week since summer officially starts for me then.

Songs in this chapter include:

Clary's scenes:  
_Love and Drugs by The Maine_  
_Preacher at the End of the World by Chris Cornell_  
_Young Volcanoes by Fall Out Boy_

Jace's scenes:  
_Daisy by The Maine_  
_Not About Angels by Birdy_  
_Ol' 55 by Tom Waits_

Review and I'll give you a huge chunk spoiler of the next chapter which will include tons of PM-ing but I'm actually really bored waiting to do my English final because I sure as hell am not studying camera angles. So yeah, review, fav, follow, or just remain idle but I sincerely hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and aren't bawling your eyes out. Again thank you to Harunifuyu!

-Ry


	6. Chapter 6: The Pack of Smokes

**Clary**

_**The Hurry and the Harm**_

_Gold. That was the colour of his eyes, his arms, his face. All the gold that seemed to shine on his face before seemed to disappear leaving the man, that I used to think was the embodiment of the Dying Man on the Cross, a fallen angel. Everything was darker now; even his mere presence. I didn't expect him to show up now. Typically, he came in the morning rather than at night. The way he looked at me made me want to run into his arms and melt. _

_The question he asked left me frozen, _

"_Where are you going?" _

_It seemed clear to him that I was leaving the city, leaving the state, and leaving him. I had nothing left here…not even a speck of love. There was only so much a heart could take and this was it, I was going to leave._

"_Far, far away." Was all I could tell him. I didn't want him to follow me to Chicago where I have a chance at rediscovering happiness. The truth is that I will probably never be happy again, not without him, but he didn't need to know that. I get to build a company from scratch. I get a chance at a fresh start. I get to reclaim respect. _

"_Where is far, far away?" His voice breaking and I shut my eyes tightly so I didn't have to see his face break too. _

"_I can't tell you." _

"_Why not?" _

"_Can't you see that we don't belong together? I gave you time to find me and you wasted it, Jace." Saying his name hurt even more. I had been avoiding his name as best I could for months. _

"_I love you." Three words, eight letters that would have changed my mind months ago-a week ago even. But it was too late; I was already gone. _

"_You don't know what love is." I tried to walk past him but he kept blocking me. The luggage didn't help either. _

"_Why won't you believe me?" He asked. The neighbours were coming out of their homes now, wanting to see what was happening and when they saw Jace Wayland standing there, their mouths dropped open in surprise. Everyone had heard of the personal assistant that screwed her boss; that he dumped her on the side of the street the way men used to dump my mother. They never expected him to come back. _

"_You destroyed my faith." _

_That was all it took for him to go into shock and the heartbreak on his face bought me enough time to move past him and into the cab I called for earlier. When I slammed the taxi door, I saw him try to chase after me._

_I was heartless now. I gave my heart to him, and he crushed it. All I could say was, "Drive." _

_And the taxi driver did. Jace seemed to grow smaller and smaller in the side mirrors until I couldn't see him at all. Then knew that Jace Wayland was gone from my life forever. _

_**The Downtown Train**_

Blesser. Pronounced blay-say and it means to hurt in French. Je me suis blessé le coeur. I hurt my heart. It all my doing and my own fault. Even at this point where Gabriel was trying to recreate our prom night in his bed, it didn't feel as special as doing it with Jace against a wall or in Jace's bed or just with Jace in general. For the first time in my life, I faked an orgasm, but gave Gabriel his. I couldn't stop thinking about the way Jace looked at me in the hotel room. He was tired of me and all my shit which I couldn't blame him for. Truth is, I was tired of his shit too.

Don't get me wrong, I still wanted to be with him and I'd put up with all his faults and his stubbornness if I had the chance. When Gabriel rolled off of me, he said something I didn't expect.

"I know you want him and I know you faked that orgasm. Let me just say that I'm insulted that you were crying on prom night and now you fake it tonight. I think I'm getting a sign that I'm bad at sex or you just forced yourself to do this." Even though he said this in full amusement, I could tell that he really was insulted when he started putting his clothes back on immediately.

"How did you know?"

"It doesn't take an idiot to realize that you're in love with that guy. Let me just say, first off, that if you want to tap each other, at least have the decency to quit first. Boards like that aren't lenient and if they catch you two, you're screwed." _Too late for a warning, Lightwood_, I thought. I wanted to say that I wasn't in love with Jace but I couldn't bring myself to say it.

"Then why did you have sex with me?"

"I'm pretty sure it would piss him off more than the bathroom incident. I just…I like pissing people off, it's something I'm used to doing. Plus, he'll see what he's missing out on." I felt used, but then again, I was using him to make Jace jealous so I didn't really have a right to be mad.

"I'm sorry Gabriel." I said wholeheartedly. In a way, I used him more than he used me and he still had the decency and the kindness to get me out of there. I didn't want to see my mom and Luke together, I didn't want to dance next to Jace without having him in my arms, and above all, I didn't want to see Jace and Jessamine together. The plan backfired and I was hurt in the end and so was Jace.

"What are you sorry for? Look Clary, I got my orgasm and I'm sorry you had to fake yours, but I hope we can still be friends." Gabriel really hadn't changed since high school; he continued to walk things off and brush it off his shoulder as if the situation was nothing more than a speck of dust.

"Of course." I smiled at him and kissed his cheek once last time before putting on my clothes. He offered to get his chauffeur to drive me back to my apartment in which I declined. I wanted to walk on my own; the same way I walked on my own in Paris. I knew it was more dangerous in New York at night, but he didn't fight me about it and let me go.

Somewhere along the way in my walk, I realized that I took off my heels and walked barefoot. The sidewalks were cool and was clear of broken glass. Even New York at night still had the same hustle and bustle as it did during the day. Somehow, I found myself in front of the hotel that they held the gala at and I didn't know how long I stared at the entrance before the doorman asked me if I was going to come in. I was pretty sure I looked like trash at this point so I shook my head and kept on walking.

I missed this peace and quiet, even if I could still hear cars honking and see the flickering lights of buildings. I chose to stay in this city and I wondered if I was ever going to get out. In complete honesty, I prefered being alone, Jace being the exception. Soon enough, I whispered to myself,

"I love you Jace." As soon as those words left my mouth, I ran back to the hotel to find him. It wasn't like I was going to tell him this revelation of mine, but I needed to fix things.

"Did a tall, blond man leave by chance? He had cufflinks with stars on them–" I asked the doorman but he placed a hand in front of me and told me to go to the bar.

There, I found Jessamine trying to get Jace to go to bed. I didn't say anything and hid in a crowd of other drunks to listen in. Besides, I was tiny, even in my heels, and Jessamine was too focused on trying to get Jace to stop drinking.

"Who the hell is Clary, Goddamnit Jace. Stop mumbling and just go to bed!" She was yelling at him and he only laughed at her while dumping whatever alcohol there was down her dress. I heard a screech coming from her, a slap, and then heels clacking away. Jessamine left and Jace continued to drown himself in alcohol. Sliding into the bar stool beside him, he didn't even bother to look sideways until I opened my mouth to order a drink for myself.

"You came back." He slurred with a lazy, crooked smile and almost fell off his chair. Launching myself forward to catch him, I heard his drunk laughter as he pulled me to sit in his lap.

"Jace, you're not allowed to drink anymore." I scolded him in calm voice and he nipped at my nose.

"You're so cute when you try…" He drifted off and reached for his drink which he couldn't even put to his lips because he was already so intoxicated.

"Jace, let's get you to bed." Taking one of his arms, I draped it over my shoulders and I led the way while he dragged his feet. When we reached his floor, I dug in his pocket for the keycard while Jace continued to stumble along with me. Without my support he would have walked into a wall.

The walk to his room seemed to take a million years and the moment we got in, I towed Jace onto the bed and removed his socks and shoes. I knew for a fact that he slept naked with the exception of his boxers, so I took everything but those off too, for his comfort. He seemed to be aware of everything I was doing, although, in his drunken state, he wouldn't remember any of this in the morning.

"Are you going to go back to Gabriel? Don't leave." He slurred from the bed. Jace had a pained expression on his face that nearly broke my heart.

"No, I'm not. I came here to…never mind." Jace was already fast asleep and there was nothing I could say that he would remember when he woke up tomorrow. There was nothing for me to do but go home and face the fact that he and I would still be on rocky ground tomorrow. I still had to work and face him tomorrow. My plan was to get his coffee and try to avoid him for the rest of the day. I was pretty damn sure that he wouldn't want to so much as look at me tomorrow.

Even though he asked me not to leave, I knew he didn't mean it, but I also knew that people are the most honest when they are drunk so I wasn't sure what to think. They seem to get everything they hold back out in the open when they're intoxicated.

When I got home, I found Isabelle and Simon cuddled up together on the couch asleep. Isabelle's face was hidden in the crook of his neck and both of them had smiles on their face. If I said I wasn't jealous, I'd be lying to myself. I wished that I could have a normal, happy relationship like them. It was too bad that my life wasn't normal…or happy. On the bright side, at least they weren't having sex tonight or banging on my walls. Either way, sleep didn't come until three in the morning and I kept waking up throughout the night thinking of Jace and wondering if there was anything left for the two of us. I didn't want to believe that it was over, but I didn't want to stick to just sex either. I wished that I just told him that I wanted more, but the fear of not being with him made me rash and my fear came true.

Let me just say that jealousy is not the key to anyone's heart, but rather a monster that will destroy a person's future.

_**The Pack of Smokes**_

Sense. I felt it in my gut that Jace would not come into the office early today so I delayed his coffee for half an hour and I was correct. In all honesty, he looked like a disheveled angel when he had a hangover; he looked like trash. I didn't believe it was possible for Jace to look bad but he did-his clothes remained the same from the night before, the dark circles under his eyes indicated his lack of sleep, and the glares that he was giving everyone in the office were terrifying. This was clearly not the happy Jace that gave the speech last night.

He was snapping at everyone who told him 'good morning' and told them that if they didn't go back to work, he would quote on quote, "Fire your ass." Jace saw the coffee on his desk and literally finished the large sized caffeine monster in less than ten seconds. Proceeding to glare at everyone with one scan of the room, he slammed the door of his office that caused many people walking by to jump a little.

Imogen was shaking her head with a huff and instructed me to go get his favourite lunch: coconut pancakes with a side of zucchini fries dipped in sour cream from Taki's. I was nervous–shaking even–to approach Jace during his rampage, but I had a job to do and if I had to deal with the anger, then I guess I would do it. By the time I came back with Jace's lunch, I saw him screaming at an employee and making her cry. Everyone had already froze with what they were doing and only looked at me because I was the only other person creating any semblance of noise in the room.

"What's going on?" I asked and my voice rung out, Jace snapped his head towards me and began shouting.

"You. What were you thinking?! Do you think in that petulant brain of yours that you can go out as you please? You have a job to do and you weren't there when I needed you to do it." He was scolding me as if I was a child and when Imogen tried to appease him, I told her to stop.

"Let him say what he wants to say. What do you think of me Mr. Wayland?"

"I think you're bratty and impulsive and you don't ever think before you speak. You don't even know that you're damaging this company!" I let out a humourless laugh and shoved his packaged lunch at him. This was not even about the company anymore; it was about last night.

"All right then. So you're saying that making a scene in the office and having everyone stop their work isn't damaging? Do you see that everyone here is scared for their lives? Our jobs are on the line and it's your job to _fix _this and stop yelling at people. Calm down." I didn't even notice my voice raise until Imogen began pulling me back.

"Dear, I think it's best to leave him be." She whispered and I shook my head. There was a part of me that wondered why he hadn't threatened to fire me yet and the faint memory called back to me where he told me that I was great asset to the company. This was about last night and there was nothing I or any of the employees could do to calm the fire within him right now.

Jace scowled at me and turned to everyone else,

"Get back to work." he yelled, retreating into his office once more. I didn't see him for the rest of the day. At one point during the day, there was a loud crash from within and no one bothered to go in to face his wrath. I wanted to fix this, but I was hardheaded and it became known to me that Jace was too.

I thought back to what I breathed into the air last night, _I love you Jace. _God, did I even know what love was? Yes, I did and I knew that this love was a dangerous type of love; it was one that would jeopardize and pummel everything that I ever cared about. This was also the love that burned with a passion and one that I would keep within me and not let it be lit like a cigarette.

Two hours had elapsed since the grand debacle and a woman with honey coloured hair with a strong bone structure marched into the office looking furious. Her high heels clacked even against the carpet as she made her way to Imogen's desk demanding to know where Jace was. I saw her last night; it was his mother. Imogen, who quickly recognized her, informed her that Jace was currently busy and not well-tempered at the moment.

"I want to see my son, I don't care if he is having a tantrum right now. He is a grown up and since I raised him, I've seen enough of his anger to know that it is equivalent to that of Hades." I couldn't believe his own mother had compared him to Hades. In a way, it was funny but then again, it was terrifying how serious she was with the analogy. Almost immediately, she strode into Jace's office and began shouting. The office was quiet again and we could hear the two lashing out at one another.

"Jonathan Christopher Wayland, your father taught you respect and you do not talk to me that way on the phone. Apologize to Jessamine." It was muffled through the frosted glass doors, but all of us could hear. The other employees worked silently at their cubicles in order to listen in at the fight and I stood frozen beside Imogen.

"Mom, what do you want from me? I will not marry Jessamine. I'm twenty-eight years old!"

"Firstly, apologize to me. Second of all, your father and I got married right after we got out of high school. Twenty-eight is old!"

"Oh my God, kill me now!" Jace groaned and image of his mother's hand came to smack him on the back of his head.

"Jonathan, I thought you had learned to clean your room! Look at this mess! I thought I taught you better." It was somewhat comedic to how his mother had to criticize his room. I stifled a giggle until something else was said but it was unclear.

"I said: GET. OUT." Jace's voice boomed inside and there was a slap that came right after.

"Don't call me your mother if I walk out this door and you don't change your attitude." She hissed, it was at this time that someone should have went in–me–but I didn't want to add more fuel to the fire.

"Fine, then at least I won't have to deal with these socialite whores like Jessamine Lovelace." Jace spat out venomously while at the same time, someone from of the cubicles coughed trying to bite back laughter.

"What is the matter with you Jonathan? You do understand that your father would not be proud of you right now!"

"Why does it matter? He's dead!" It was final and his mother left the room with a wet face, heels no longer clicking against the carpet but rather in a sulking form. I felt the need to console her but I had a feeling it would make things worse. Jace needed to stop his wild rampage and as the day went on, huffs and sighs were consistently made throughout the room by every employee. Anyone could tell that this was the worst Sunday this office had ever seen.

The moment I heard the crash of glass against the wall, I decided that I had enough of the Jace epidemic that seemed to spread fear and sadness across the entire office. I went in silently, making sure that the office was working as they regularly would by the time I went in.

"What are you doing in here?" Jace asked tiredly from the window pane.

"Are you done?" I asked in a calm tone while pulling up a seat for myself to sit in.

"I don't know, am I? I know for sure I'm damn well done with the deal we had." He said this as if it was bitter in his mouth and I shut my eyes tightly.

"We're not talking about that Jace…that's over." I needed to keep my voice low so that the people outside wouldn't eavesdrop. "I'm talking about how everyone outside isn't working efficiently because of your attitude. If your mom couldn't even calm you down, then I don't know what can. Don't destroy my faith Jace." I pleaded and he crossed his arms, locking his jaw tightly.

"Why did you do it? Why did you sleep with him?"

"This is not the time or place…"

"Bullshit!" He slammed his hand against the desk that rattled the pens off his table. His office was a complete jungle and I felt sorry for the janitor that had to clean up later.

"I think you need to lower your voice Jace."

"It's Mr. Wayland to you."

"Then there's really no point in having this discussion if we're just going to keep running in circles." I stood up to leave until he stopped me.

"You're not leaving until I get an explanation."

"I don't see how my personal life affects you, _Mr. Wayland." _There was no point to me even coming here if he wasn't going to budge at all. Then again, this was me being stubborn and it seemed as if there wasn't anything left to fix, everything was so broken.

"You're such a–" He stopped himself from what he was about to say and I suddenly became interested in his next choice of words.

"I'm a what? A whore?" The silence in the room had verified my answer and I scoffed at him before leaving. It hurt. It really did. So much. I wished I could have fixed things, but we were two ticking time bombs ready to explode at each other. I was too stubborn for my own good and so was he; neither of us could swallow our pride for a minute to listen.

It was routine for the office to clear out, always leaving Jace and I to be the last ones to leave. Today, I didn't bother going into his office to wish him a good night. As I began packing up, he emerged from his office with a face of defeat.

"I'm sorry." I heard from the door and I shook my head.

"Are you just saying that?" I countered, not looking him in the eye.

"I don't know what you want from me, Clary."

"Do you really want to know why I did it?" I whispered and he nodded.

"I was jealous okay? You have no freaking idea how much it hurt me when you told me you were going with Jessamine." My body felt as if a weight had been lifted, but I dreaded his next words.

"And you don't think seeing you with Gabriel killed me?"

"Isn't that the point? To make you jealous? Because why do I have to be the one watching you with another girl while I'm alone on the sides? Do you have any idea how fucked up this deal was? I like you, okay?" I avoided the word 'love' as best I could when I looked him in the eye.

"You know we can't be together."

"Then there's really nothing left to say." My voice broke as I said this and when his hand reached out to touch my face, I realized that I was crying. I did what I did best and I ran away. This time though…he chased me.

"Clary, stop!" He shouted in the parkade while I fumbled around for my car keys. Jace caught onto my arm and spun me around to face him.

"What do you want from me?!" I screamed, "Do you want to hurt me more than you already have?! There's nothing you can do!" He leaned down and kissed me on the lips, almost angrily but with a gentle passion, so I knew he wouldn't hurt me anymore. Jace could probably taste the tears that streamed down my face and onto his lips. He didn't kiss any other part of my body or face. It was just my lips this time. When he stopped, he dragged me into his car.

"I don't want to hurt you." He spoke quietly. I sat there, not knowing what to say or do.

"I like you too…but…" Here it comes: the rejection all over again. "I guess we can make it work." Wait, what? A smile erupted through my tear stained face and Jace pressed his forehead to mine.

"You need to smile more often." He told me and kissed me once more. I squealed when he pinched my side.

"What was that for?" I asked, voice still jagged from the frog in my throat.

"So you know it's not a dream." He smiled softly, holding my hand in his.

"No more angry Jace right?" I asked and he chuckled.

"Only in bed when you beg to have it rough." This comment earned him a slap on the arm but he quickly calmed me with a kiss. This was the Jace I really fell in love with. Even though every person had their ups and down, I could deal with Jace Wayland lack of anger management for a day.

We spent a bit more time in the car talking about today; mainly about how he now had to go beg for his mother's forgiveness. The topic of Jessamine and Gabriel came up and it was agreed that neither of us would ever see them anymore, let alone sleep with them.

"I really want to have his head on a silver platter. The guy is a complete douche bag." He was referring to Gabriel and I only sighed.

"Well, good thing you're my only douche bag." I gave him a goofy grin and he reached for one of my hands to bring to his lips.

"I think if I tell my mother I have a girlfriend she'll forgive me." Laughing at his joke, I decided that this was enough for the night and I would see him tomorrow. Before I shut his car door, he caught my hand.

"Go on a date with me tomorrow. I know we can't be public or anything but I'd still like to spoil my girlfriend and take her out on lavish dinners." Hearing him call me his girlfriend made my heart flutter even more crazily than it already was. Breaking out into a grin, I nodded my head and made my way to my own car.

Monday morning in the office, everyone was back to their normal selves and Jace swallowed his pride and apologized to the girl that cried yesterday because of him. She meekly hurried away after accepting his apology, thinking that it was a joke. When I was about to enter Jace's office, Magnus stopped me and asked in a low voice,

"Isn't it strange that the boss hasn't fired you yet?" Suspicion from my peers was going to be the worst, especially since this peer was also the boyfriend of Alec.

"I'm assuming he took my words to heart otherwise I'd be dead and out of New York by now." I joked and Magnus grinned with a light chuckle.

"I guess so. Clary, Alec wants to meet up tonight so clear your schedule." He stated and I realized I hadn't seen Alec since the night I brought Jace back from his drinking adventure.

"I'm busy." I choked out. Magnus gave me a glare as well as a huff that made me feel guilty for not spending time with them. As bad as ditching my friends to spend time with Jace sounded, I wanted to spend the night with him doing things that couples do.

"What could you possibly be doing?" I guess from my fidgeting, Magnus realized that I had a date tonight with his eyes widening and a hand clamped over his mouth.

"Well, I hope you have fun tonight with whoever it is." He winked and walked away while I entered Jace's office discreetly. As the door clicked softly, Jace glanced up at me and smiled.

"We're not going to do anything that might end up in us ripping each other's clothes off today." He stated with a grin, "I need to talk to you about that marketing idea. I need your idea now."

"I don't have a proper pitch…"

"Make one up." He shrugged and leaned back on his chair. A part of me wanted to maul his face off for putting me on the spot like this but the other part wanted to ravish him on that chair.

"How often do you see a woman ask for a man's number?" I began and Jace nodded while biting on his bottom lip. He was twirling a pen between his fingers now and leaned on his desk with elbows propped up.

"I think I see where you're going with this."

"On my spare time, I watch these famous people on YouTube and these guys do these pranks like picking up girls to get their numbers in different accents or using the cheesiest pickup lines. Let's ask real life confident women to ask men for their numbers and see what happens after a week. Of course they use the Wayland Inc. service phones and internet." I explained and his face transformed into a huge smile.

"I have such a smart, beautiful, sexy girlfriend. What would I do without you?"

"Go on a rampage and make people cry." I quipped, "The commercial in itself also empowers women to step out of their comfort zones and to make the first move. It doesn't always have to be the guy." At this, Jace began rapidly typing on his computer to the marketing department. In the span of my impromptu pitch and the last line that I said, Jace was already typing away and having everything set up for next week.

By the time he finished the e-mails to marketing, there were quick pings coming from his computer as responses flooded in. Jace transitioned into work mode and I slipped out of his office leaving a note for him to text me later on. The coming week would be busy since the new commercial would be on its way to script writing, filming, editing, and a whole lot of tossing ideas.

When I came out of his office, telephones were ringing like crazy all around the cubicles. This was all for the commercial and it was insane how many people were running. In the span of pitching the idea and leaving the Jace's office, everyone was already panicking. This was the reality of a company and how fast things moved. It made me wonder how fast gossip would move.

I was nearing a hallway beside the printer room that no one used when I heard someone in there shuffling papers. Turning the doorknob, I peered in looking through the crack of the door rather than allowing it to go wide open. The people who were inside shocked me.

Valentine, a member of the board, and Lilith, the IT girl. This was why Valentine wanted to waive some bylaws; he was already breaking one. The two looked at me with pure shock, hair disheveled, cheeks flushed, and buttons that were popped all over the ground. It was Valentine who was the first to speak and it was the first time that I ever heard his voice shake in fear,

"Please don't tell the board or Mr. Wayland." There was a silent plea that flashed between the two, but before I could even open my mouth, another voice entered into the conversation.

"I believe that I will see to the situation." Hodge spoke up, his eyes lingering on Valentine and Lilith with pure disgust and a tad of pride hidden underneath. This was not good considering Valentine was the only person that wanted to waive the particular bylaw that has been killing Jace and I. It seemed that it killed Valentine and Lilith as well. I wanted so badly to help them, but Hodge was already calling the board members to have an emergency meeting. I knew when Jace got a wind of this, he would break us apart once again. It was horrible to think about; the fact that I might not be with him again soon.

"Miss Morgenstern, please go get Mr. Wayland. I am sure we have much to discuss about this…_crime_." He said this with a bitter pleasure that sent chills down to my spine. My legs were shaking when I walking to Jace's office and I was sure that my hands were fidgeting as well. I didn't realize I was holding in my breath until I entered his office and gasped loudly, searching for any semblance of air. He tore his eyes away from the computer screen and looked up at the frantic expression on my face.

"Clary, what's wrong?" I didn't know if I could tell him that I was scared to lose him, all I knew that I could say was that Valentine and Lilith had been caught and I sensed that we were next.

"Valentine and Lilith…and then Hodge…he…I can't…" I rasped out, not being able to even breathe out a word of what had actually happened. Anyone could tell that they were about to do something provocative in the unused printer room. As thankful as I was that I wasn't crying or bursting out into tears, my head felt like tiny soldiers were pounding inside with their weapons trying to get out of my head.

The moment I felt his arms wrap around me, I collapsed into him and wept for what seemed like eternity. The words seemed to find their way to Jace when the control room for my voice seemed to go on autopilot,

"Hodge found out that Valentine and Lilith were in a relationship and he called the board and now he called me to get you. You have to help them Jace!" When all I could hear were my own shallow breaths after a few minutes, the silence eliciting from Jace meant that he couldn't do anything about it.

"Clary…" He sighed after he said my name and tilted my head for me to meet his eyes.

"It was written in my father's will and nothing can change it unless the company itself is in ruins meaning stocks are crashing, services plummet, and low employment. I can't do anything about it because the board sees it as something that's great. Sed lex, dura lex. The law is hard, but it is the law. And in this case it's bylaws…"

"So what about Valentine and Lilith?"

"They're either getting suspended or fired, but most likely the latter. I typically allow the board to handle these because if they're suspended, the board will open up an investigation but they will fire them because there was a witness." God, this couldn't happen. I wished this was all a dream, I concentrated on the way my skin felt and the way my bones shook. This wasn't a dream; this was reality and maybe it was a sign that Jace and I would get burned, just like Lilith and Valentine.

The only thing left for me to really say to Jace was,

"You should go to Hodge, he's waiting for you." And Jace went out ever so slowly, tearing himself away from my body. The emptiness lingered on and I waited in his office until he came back. Watching the clock tick on minute by minute; it felt like the longest day of my life. At one point, I even set a timer. This emergency meeting was not privy to anyone other than the suspects, the board, and the chief executive officer.

I watched the clock like a madwoman and even when people knocked on the door, I ignored them. I felt so bad for Valentine and Lilith; I wondered if they were in love, I wondered how long it had been going on, I wondered, I wondered, I wondered. An hour passed and Jace stormed back into his office with a huff.

"What happened?" I was pestering him because I madly hoped for any verdict other than for Valentine and Lilith to be fired and blackballed.

"Well…the proof was all over the room itself and Valentine confessed. There really wasn't anything I could do. I had to fire them." My heart sank a little bit more with every word Jace said. It sounded so final. My hope for them had been shattered.

"I'm sorry." He added though it didn't help at all.

Shaking my head at him, I said the only words that mattered.

"Jace, I don't want to lose you again." His eyes shifted to meet mine, only for me to see his look of despair. I wish he said it back immediately to reassure my unsteady heart.

"You won't." He said simply, but I felt like that was a lie.

We were all living a lie.

**Jace**

_**The Mirrors That Never Reflect Back**_

_Pulse. The moment I saw the car driving further and further away I felt dead. There was no thump in my heart nor blood flowing through my veins. I just stood there until a homeless man tapped my shoulder and asked for change. Needless to say, I gave him about a hundred dollars that never actually meant anything to me. Soon, I would have nothing anyways. I would have no friends just like back then, no one to give commands to, and no one to love. I would sell my house and downsize to something actually worth living in and try to find a job outside of New York. I would be blackballed tomorrow and I wouldn't fight it. _

_Tomorrow would be the day that the board would make me return to the company to hear the verdict. Truly, I didn't even see the point in dragging my ass all the way into a room where low, vindictive tones would be used against me. There was already enough proof that got Clary to where she was and there was enough proof against me too. As hard as my lawyers worked to try to get a lawsuit filed against her, I waved it and fired them. I had already hurt her enough and I didn't want to make it any worse, though it seemed like I already had. _

_I didn't want to see his face especially. Hell, I can't even say his name-that conniving, old hag that only wanted to ruin my family name, fame, and fortune. How could he have done that to my family legacy? Wait no, I couldn't blame it on him. All of this was my fault and this was my mess…he only added fuel to the fire and burned my heart to ashes. As much as I cursed him, it would do no good. My lawyers had found something to use against him, but what was the point? That was an entirely different case and I would no longer be CEO anyways. _

_Everyday since the day we were caught, I felt pricks in my heart, but her leaving permanently, this was the zenith. I should have stopped her, I should have let her leave when she had the chance to without getting blackballed, I should have stopped the shame, I shouldn't have been this late. _

_Since when was love ever simple? Never. I will promise myself that I will chase her until I die and when I find her, I'll never let her go again and not for anything. I need to make sure she knows that I do love her, even though I know my actions haven't proven anything. But I will prove it. I just want to see her again. _

_Is that so much to ask?_

_I went into my car and ignited the engine. It roared a bit, letting my heart to prepare itself for the journey I was about to set off on. It was the plan to get her back at all costs. I would tell my mother to go to hell with all her socialites and I would marry Clary the moment she was in my arms again. Life was far too short and I seemed to have shortened it even more. My father was a living, breathing example of that and I wasn't about to become the exact replica of him no matter how much I loved him. Smoking while he had lung cancer was the worst thing he could do; not only did he destroy himself, but he destroyed me in the mix too. In the haze of of cigarette smoke and hospital beeps, that was the type of love that I knew: the destructive, crazy kind. _

_While driving in my car around the city for a while, every place I stumbled upon seemed to have memories of her etched on every single corner and crevice. God was laughing at me right now, was he not? I was so utterly consumed with power and status that I forgot about love. I forgot the most important birthday wish of my life. God granted me that wish, and I took it for granted. Funny how granted can have two utterly different meanings and how I destroyed the good meaning of granted; to give. Instead I tossed it away; the other meaning. _

_**The Pack of Smokes**_

Checkmate. The idea of checkmate is the satisfied proclamation that you won. When I saw Hodge with the satisfied smirk on his face as Valentine was fired, I considered firing him until he was moved to a position on the board of directors. Destruction and hate was all I've ever known from him even as a young boy interning at my father's office. He always looked down on me and lashed out at me every chance he got. I should have cut him off when I had the chance.

That was how I got to spend tonight alone with a cancelled date because Clary feared getting caught like Valentine and Lilith. If he had come to me earlier in private, I would have let him go silently, without any chance of being blackballed because he had always been so kind. This was not something I had ever expected from Valentine, though the way he held her hand walking out the office made me ponder if I could ever do that with Clary if we ever got caught. Valentine lost his wife when he was still working under my dad. I was only an intern then, but I had remembered the day he lost her and he came into work filled with sadness. Lilith was the woman he helped hire and she was the one that slowly made him smile again. Valentine was cold for so long and it was rare to find love twice in your life.

Here I was in the same bar that the bartender-Alec-had told me to sleep with his friend-who was now my girlfriend. I sat in the exact same spot and he was serving me once again.

"So, did you take my advice that night?" He chimed handing me a pink liquid drink that I immediately handed back to him. Pink is not a manly colour.

"You'll have to ask her yourself." I grinned and he smiled back at me knowingly while nodding and shoving the pink drink back at me.

"Drink up, it's her favourite." I tipped the small drink back and felt it burn down my throat. For a drink that looked so cute and supposedly fruity, it burned harder than vodka. Was this really Clary's favourite?! The aftermath of the alcoholic drink was great though and actually tasted better than my regular orders.

"Not bad. What is this?" I asked and Alec snickered.

"I can't tell you, she created it and she'd kill me if she knew I served it to anyone else." She had created this? God, this just made me like her even more.

"Tell me or I'll tell her."

"Is that really your best threat?" He raised his eyebrows at me and took the shot glass back to clean. Almost immediately, a full out grin broke out onto his face and he signalled his head for me to look at the door. There she was in all her glory, looking as beautiful as ever; legs showing and a gold skintight dress ending mid thigh and those heels that I wanted her to wear when we had sex to make marks. I was proud of all her marks on my skin…every last one. Clary was here with her friend Isabelle and…Magnus? Our cover couldn't be blown so I quickly shifted my gaze back to Alec.

"Listen, I can't be seen with her." I hissed lowly and Alec's face contorted into an angry expression. He almost looked like he was going to kill me.

"What do you mean you can't be seen with her?" This was a type of calm anger that I usually used with Hodge. This was also the type of person who would take the figure of an overprotective older brother.

"I just can't." I grit through my teeth and this was the perfect time for Clary to come by along with Isabelle and Magnus.

"Hey Mr. Wayland." Magnus chirped and proceeded to talk, "What are you doing here tonight?"

"Just having a drink." I replied politely and shifted in my chair uncomfortably until Alec spoke up and I froze,

"Mr. Wayland?"

"Yes darling, Mr. Wayland here is the CEO of Wayland Inc." Magnus said while I avoided Alec's gaze that was burning through.

"I'll join you guys later, just go pick a table." Alec stated and they walked away but I knew one redhead lingered back a bit.

"Be honest with me, are you fucking her knowing that you're her boss? That is abuse of privileges!" He said in a low, deadly tone. I almost felt ashamed to even be dating her, but in all honesty, I regret nothing.

"I'm not just fucking her." I hissed out while glancing at Clary's table, meeting her eyes exactly, "I'm dating her, I like her. She's amazing okay? She purrs while she sleeps and always takes more blanket than her tiny body actually needs and even though it annoys me, I still like it. I hate when she cries or feels like she can't breathe. There's more to it, all right?" All those words flowed out of my mouth like a river and Alec's angry expression softened.

"Don't hurt her, that's all I'll ask." He said before walking out from behind the bar and to their table.

Glancing over, I saw that she was laughing with her friends and slapping Magnus on the arm playfully. She looked happy and beautiful. This was the face I liked to see; that and the silly orgasm face she makes. And even though her orgasm face looks funny, in a way it's still sexy just because Clary is Clary and there is no one else I want but her.

Sliding out my phone, I sent over a text.

_My place later. Please? –J_

I assumed her phone was in her purse and didn't feel it vibrate since she didn't respond until half an hour later. I knew Alec kept looking up at me every time Clary wasn't talking to them. It was only safe for him and Isabelle to know because they didn't work under me and they were close to her in the way that they would never betray her.

_Sure :) I'll try not to drink a lot but Magnus will make me take at least five shots. –C_

_Wait, I don't know how I'm going to get there if I'm trashed. –C_

I chuckled her response and at the worry lines that began to form on her forehead. Right about then, Isabelle took her phone and scrolled through while Clary was scrambling to get it back. At least Isabelle wasn't reading them aloud but was reading them to herself with a smirk plastered on her face. Slyly, Isabelle handed her phone back to Clary without attracting attention from Magnus. She marched over to me and smiled in a cheshire cat way that made me feel a bit uneasy.

"Hey Jace." She chirped, "How's it going?" I sensed that Isabelle had a plan up her sleeve that would allow Clary to leave early.

"Hi, I'm great and you?" Almost immediately, she cut this excited act and turned serious.

"Okay, I'm done with this welcoming crap. Go outside and wait for Clary, she'll be out in a second." She winked and turned on her heel. The moment I left, I waited against the brick wall for ten minutes until I saw the flaming red hair that enticed me so much. I bounced off and held her hand in mine, giving it a small kiss.

We drove to my house in talking about the jokes Magnus had made earlier about me being 'a hottie he'd bang if he wasn't dating Alec.' She told me about how Magnus made her take at least three shots before she left. I realized in that instant that I hadn't laughed in a long time or admired true beauty. Before I met her, the only beautiful thing I had truly admired were the stocks that kept rising.

While we were in bed watching a film on the television, I suddenly blurted out,

"I have a fear of ducks." She looked up at me incredulously with a smile.

"You mean the cute, waddling creatures by Central Park?" She was actually laughing at me while tracing a figure eight on my chest.

"They aren't cute Clary; they're actually demons." Clary chuckled and turned her eyes back to the screen. We were watching _Anna Karenina_ and that was when I thought about our relationship again. Just like Anna, in a way, we were having an affair.

After going further into the movie, Anna had announced to Vronsky that she was pregnant and he was overjoyed at the news. To this Clary asked a question that shocked me to the point where I didn't exactly know how to answer,

"What if I was pregnant with your baby?" So I said the thing I knew would most likely satisfy her and truthfully, I didn't know if I meant it or not.

"I'd marry you in a heartbeat." Her response to this was not what I expected and she was rather disappointed.

"Honestly…I don't think it would be right to marry me just because I have your baby. Yes, I mean, I grew up without a dad but…I don't know. Just ignore my question; let's finish the movie." The question gnawed at me for the rest of the movie, I couldn't even concentrate until Anna went insane and killed herself. They did say in the reviews that it was one of the most beautifully written tragedies of all time. I didn't know what I would do if she had my child. A part of me would be excited that it would be mine but the other part of me wouldn't want it at all if I was going to ruin me.

"What do you want to do now?" She asked with her green eyes begging for mischief. Rolling on top of her, I held her hips with my hands and lowered my forehead down to hers.

"Something like this." Rolling my hips into hers, I heard a muffled whimper and a whisper of a 'please'. Clothes were dumped onto the ground quicker than one can say 'the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog'.

"Keep your heels on, I want you to make marks on me." I whispered into her ear and at the same time she shuddered.

"Remember Paris." I muttered as I placed a trail of kisses along her collarbone. Disappearing into the covers, I began pressing my lips on her stomach and each kiss having an eccentric reaction from her. Sliding my tongue against her core, I heard Clary whimper and I knew that she was trying to suppress her cries of pleasure.

"You can be loud if you want, there's no one else in the house but us." I chuckled between her thighs while she was panting.

"This isn't funny J–Oh God that feels great!" She cried and I was satisfied with her reaction. Somehow, her hands found their way to my head and as her hands tugged against my hair, it only encouraged me to bring her over the edge. When I tasted the clear fluid in my mouth that came from her climax, I let my tongue drag over her core once more before coming out of the covers.

We proceeded to have sex, as blunt as that was. The marks Clary made on me when she tightened her legs around me only made me want to fuck her harder and faster. Even though the headboard of the bed kept bouncing against the wall, neither of us cared enough to stop or slow down.

Suddenly, I sat her up and the two of us remained still and connected with one another. Capturing her lips with my own, the pace went back to where it was before and she cried out that she couldn't hold it out anymore. When I told her to let go, she did. Just as she was recovering from the waves, my body decided that it was time to let go.

"You look like the Dying Man." She muttered as I came with a grunt and my body tightened.

"Are you mentioning Jesus right after we had sex? Because I'm pretty sure that's a sin in His name and in my bed." I breathed out heavily while still connected to her. I was so perplexed to why I would remind her of that. Clary giggled while tracing her fingers against the curves on my arms and hollowness of my collarbone.

"I mean that when you release, your entire body gets tense and then you let go all at once and it's beautiful to watch. I guess how Jesus died wasn't exactly beautiful but you know, He was great and you're great. You take too much of world on yourself, Jace, and when you let go, it really is beautiful." She smiled lightly and took off the heels that scratched my lower back.

Finally removing myself from her, our bodies draped against each other under the covers and we spent the rest of the night worshipping each other's bodies. This was what I wanted for the rest of my life: to freely be with her without anyone criticizing me. While her hands were roaming my body, she felt the bumps on my lower back and forced me to lay on my stomach.

"Oh my God, did I do that to you?" She was horrified at the marks she made with her heels-little did she know that I loved them.

"Yup." I said in an amused way; I was proud of them and she should have been too, but instead she was upset.

"I hurt you." It came out in a small voice of despair and I quickly rolled back up to face her, holding her face in my hands.

"Hey, hey, no you didn't. I asked you to keep them on didn't I?" Clary's eyes only flickered down in shame so I tilted her chin up to look at me.

"I like the marks you put on me; I love them. If you gave me hickies, do you think people would think of me the same way?" I laughed and she let out a small smile, "I want your marks to be on me because it shows that I'm yours. Okay?"

"I still don't think it's right Jace. Your skin peeled off."

"As screwed up as this sounds, there can be pain in pleasure."

"You mean bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism?" This was almost said as a statement rather than a question. An eyebrow quirked up at me in challenge and I felt the blood rush down there once again.

"It's not hurting if you like it." I whispered expecting her to feel better, but she only shook her head at me.

"It can be. I don't believe in that stuff Jace."

"Well, what do you want to do about it? You're already upset over it. I'm fine with it Clary." This softened her tight expression and she wrapped her arms around me in a firm hug.

"Promise me you'll never let me do it again." She murmured into my neck and when she felt me nod, Clary placed a kiss on my cheek.

To say that we spent the rest of the night having sex would be a lie because for one, we were out of condoms and two, we didn't actually need sex to be happy because we worshipped each other's bodies in different ways. The human touch was a beautiful thing and I was glad to be able to have all ten fingers to trace every single curve and line on Clary's body. While she laid in my arms with eyes closed, she hummed as I thumbed over the splash of freckles over her cheeks and nose.

Clary's hands reached up to touch my jawline and to feel the scruff that was starting to form. In a way, she was like a cat when she rubbed her cheek against mine and purred. As her hands moved fluidly to my lower back, she whispered,

"Let's go to sleep. Sweet dreams."

I will just say that I did not get much sleep that night because I was admiring the way lights shone and shadows spilled across her face throughout the night. Every time my fingers touched her face, a smile would slowly form and it would give me peace. I was not familiar with the feelings that stirred in my stomach, but I wanted to uncover them, as scared as I was of what this small, beautiful girl could possibly make me feel beyond the passion that roared within me.

Needless to say that those thoughts didn't disappear for the entire night and stayed with me when she woke up with the smile that made me want to become a better person. Note to self: buy more condoms and buy my girlfriend more lingerie so I can tear it off of her. God, if she knew my thoughts I was pretty sure she would never wear lingerie to bed ever again. Second note to self: call mom and tell her that I have a girlfriend now and that she can stop worrying about me being single for the rest of my life. Third note to self: actually swallow up my pride and apologize to my mother.

I slipped away to the bathroom while Clary changed into her clothes from the night before. I dialed my mom's number, which she answered with a cold,

"Hello Jonathan."

"Hi mom…"

"What do you want?" She sniffed, trying to be dramatic and hurt about what I said on Sunday.

"Mom, I'm sorry."

"For?" She pressed on wanting me to feel more ashamed of what I said to her.

"For hurting your feelings. Look mom, I don't want to be set up with those socialites anymore; I have a girlfriend."

"Really? And is that girlfriend the redhead from the banquet?" It was strange how mothers know things from simple observation. The silence from my side allowed her to continue speaking, "Jonathan, you know it's wrong. Is she not your employee?"

"Yes…" A sigh came from the other line and I could see in my mind that she was shaking her head at me.

"I don't know what to say, son, except for the fact that you have to end it or your career will be jeopardized. That girl will ruin you." My mother was clearly bitter about Clary. I peeked out the bathroom door to see that Clary was humming a happy song and smiling to herself.

"If she is going to ruin me, mom, then I don't understand why I'm so happy."

"Jonathan…happiness is fleeting. This affair will end soon."

"It's not an affair mom!" I hissed into the phone even though I knew that it was indeed an affair and I would rather lie to myself.

"Then what is it if you can't even have an open relationship with her? Look, if you really want to date this girl then fire her and you two can be happy together, but while she is working under you I don't know if I can condone it."

"I don't need your permission."

"Do you not, Jonathan?"

"How is it that every time I speak to you, it turns into a fight? Why can't you just let me be happy?" My voice began to raise and footsteps pattered towards the bathroom door.

"Jace, are you okay?" Clary knocked on the door and my mother began to shout.

"You're sleeping with her already?! Jonathan Christopher Wayland, you better do the right thing and pray to God the board does not hear of this. You're an adult so make adult decisions."

"I am." I said at last and she hung up on me. Opening the door, I saw Clary standing in front with arms crossed and an innocent face.

"Something wrong?"

"No, nothing." I gave a convincing smile and leaned down to kiss her. It seemed to convince her that I was on a business call rather than having a personal conversation with my mother pertaining to my relationship with Clary.

"Then, let's get to the office and I have to go home and change." She skipped along with high heels in hand, while I stared after her wondering how long I would have with her before this all came crashing down on me. My mother was right, but I couldn't stand to not have Clary by my side every second that I could. I was desperate for love and I like to think that have I found it.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I'm sorry that this was such a late update but I had a bit of writer's block that really gnawed at me, I kept backspacing. Which brings me to say that I have to finish How to Love in 20 Days which only has 9 chapters left to it but I keep dragging it because I have no motivation for that story. If I can bring myself to write the next chapter for that one, I will but for now, please be patient for those of you who are reading it.

I sent out a lot of spoilers for the last chapter and the same goes for this chapter. You review, you get a spoiler. I'm so sorry for those who write anonymously. I found it really fun to see your reactions even though most of them ended in tears or begging for the next one. I am thinking of starting a new story but not until this one is over because I still have to juggle my other one. It's difficult since I've had that story since 2011 and it's been 3 years. I'm terrible for updating that one because it was based on one of my friends that saved my life and now she left me for her boyfriend since her boyfriend made her choose. Very sad and all, but I'll try my best to update that.

Big shout out to Harunifuyu for being a great beta!

Clary's scenes:  
The Hurry and the Harm by City and Colour  
Downtown Train by Tom Waits  
One Pack of Smokes by The Maine

Jace's scenes:  
Love Someone by Jason Mraz  
His Daughter by Molly Kate Kestner

Again, review, fav, follow; review and you get a spoiler. Typically, all the chapters should be 10k words. :)

Until next time,

Ry


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